Click images for desktop size: "Detail" by Cezanne Not too perky today.
Need more coffee then sleep. That's my guess, anyway.
Pain killers not having much effect this morning. Pain sharp and acute.
I'll survive. Pain doesn't kill. Its a message from your body, a warning. I wish I could figure out what the heck this warning is about. The neuropathic pain is just there. Its always there "like the copper peeking around the corner".
I managed not to sleep during the day. Then I fell asleep during the NFL game. Just at the start of the second half.
It was more of a passing out then a sleep. I was thinking about how much I disliked the NFL Network. This seems a flagrant abuse of their anti-trust privilege, and yet they feel no compunction or shame about demanding that all the cable systems carry the show,
Click image: "Popular Teenagers" by Toni Gay to the point of demanding congress order them to carry it!
The two biggest greed mongers in the world trying to cheat each other . . . Anyway for some bizarre unexplained reason I get the Thursday Night games free. None of the other NFL Network stuff, which is fine by me. And even if I do get it free I still think its wrong and unfair.
I also think its unfair to the players. Four days rest between games is too little. Its like begging for injuries. Then 11 days rest is pretty unfair to the Thursday's teams next opponents.
Anyway I was thinking this when I suddenly came to and the game was over. I didn't feel rested, just groggy.
Went to the computer to check emails and fell out again. And again I came to and it was an hour later. I had no feeling of resting. It didn't feel like time had passed.
I made a decision not to take any pain killers. Its not a tough decision. I'm sure all those pills are having some effects I don't want.
I went to bed. I listened to about 30 songs before I fell asleep about 3:30. Then I heard the alarm at 6:30. No
Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Luis Royo sleep, just the body switched off. The pain came on livid and yearning like a pre-teen at a Boyzone show.
I lived with it for a half hour before I took pills. Partially to prove to myself how tough I am and partially to see just how deep the pain goes.
It hurts. Its not crippling. I don't like it but its not torturous, just uncomfortable and hard to focus past.
I let the dogs outside and saw that it had snowed some. I regret that I missed it. It was just a light dusting of snow.
(Do people used to living in snow realize how poetic all their descriptions of the stuff are. Their commonplace descriptions still fill me with the wonderment of allegory and simile. A light dusting.) The snow was dry. Powder. I suddenly had an urge to go skiing. I'm not a great skier but I do okay. I even manage to avoid injury, some how.
That is my experience with snow. You drive up through the desert to Big Bear, play in the snow and when you get tired of it you go home. That seems proper and civilized.
I never skied many other places than Big Bear. A bunch of the guys and I once went to Aspen. Didn't like it much. Too many tourists who we all wanted to slug.
Once we went to Steamboat Springs in Colorado. Decent skiing and not many tourists, even some nice little rock climbs. They looked like they were prepping themselves to be the next big resort town. I've no idea if they succeeded.
In Europe I found the skiing good but kind of dull. I'm not great but most of the skiers there thought I was too extreme! I don't even hot dog so I was perplexed. I also didn't have the right clothes so the few times I was went my memories are mainly of how wet and cold I was.
So basically, the time I spent skiing in all its sums and totals of fun in the snow can't hold a candle to spending an hour in the snow with my dogs. We knock each other sound, attack me and each other and laugh. When I do get jerked around by a sudden flash of pain all but the giant dog back off until I initiate the games again.
The giant dog thinks my grunts and grimaces are somehow directed at him! So he just stands and looks at me forlornly, wanting me to always like him.
I always like him. Even when I'm mad at him.
I intentionally didn't play with the guitar yesterday. My main issue right now is getting my finger strength back. Even with these light gauge strings I can only do a full step bend. I used to be able to do at least 1 and a half stops even on the top E and at least two on the bottom E.
You can't work out 7 days a week and build up strength. Not picking up the box and bashing around with it was harder than I'd thought it would be. I'm a noisy guy. I like making noise. Sometimes the noise passes for music and then its pretty good for me even if not for the unwitting people who have to hear it.