Click images for desktop size: "Ecuador" by Titusboy Nights are becoming grim exercises in pain and tangled dancing. Sleeping in 45 minute spurts. Waking up gasping. Sometimes can maneuver to a slightly painless position but the rest of my body is so uncomfortable it doesn't last long, just until I drift off.
Second week here and the biggest memory is the pain . . . and no job.
I thought about applying to Pizza Hut, the YUM Corporation . . . decided things weren't quite that bleak after all.
I got my food stamps card today. That brightened up the weather some. Went right out and bought 100 bucks worth of healthy food. Enough to last a few weeks at least. Food and a dry place to connect to the internet and all things seem possible.
I kept thinking about my puppy and how much I miss her. No closer now to a way to get her the near 1,000 miles. She's a warrior. She'll survive. So will I. But sometimes it just nice to be happy.
Happy seems further than a thousand miles. Happy seems to be just a memory.
Good news os that my puppy's mom is doing okay. I don't think she's in remission from her cancer yet but she's not facing an imminent end. That a good cause to rejoice.

July 3 and July 4, 2009

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I waited for my friend to get to Rainbow Bridge. Walking around Niagara Falls it seemed just like another tourist trap. Glitz surrounded by invisible poverty. As I walked I realized how weakened the prison had made me. I sat and waited and listened.
One thing that surprised me is that the guards hadn't stolen my iPod and ear buds. I think its because I had to dump my iSkins Duo case. The only case I had to replace it was this thick black plastic thing that made it impossible to read the screen. I think they looked at it and thought it was
Click images for desktop size: "Dr Wirtham's Comix" by Unknown a knock off or anything not an iPod. Or maybe it was just too old for them.
I listened to my prison theme song: The Martinets "Hallowed Ground". I was glad it was actually on the iPod at all. The song disappointed me. It was great enough but I realized I'd pretty well rearranged the song and my version was better. At least better when referring to an unnatural hell hole.
I listened to the track three times and made notes as to the changes I'd made. It is a great tune.
There was about an hour until the earliest my friend would arrive so I stood at the Niagara Falls Center where I had a clear view of the border crossing. I watched the cars come across until I noticed some of the guards watching me watch them. I didn't want ti inadvertently bring any undue attention to my friend so I figured out a place where she would cross and we would meet.
My friend was able to reactivate my mobile so I set up a location and sent her a text. The location was on the main exit of the crossing, about three blocks straight down. There was a fire plug keeping a section of the street clear and a bench in front of the fire plug. I sat and sort of collapsed inside of myself. A few tourists walked past. I was interested that so many of the tourists were Asiatic Indians. I also remembered that about 90% of the fast food joints I'd seen were Indian food - stupidly expensive too. ($9 for a chicken vindaloo!)
I waited and kept my eyes open as best I could. Then she was there.
I was elated. Actually understood what the word meant for the first time. E-lated.
I got in the car with her and almost completely collapsed. Five hours ago a bald man with no power other than nastiness, a man who's bald head and wrinkles made him look exactly like a six foot 3 penis with glasses had dumped me in a place I'd never been before with no shoelaces, belt or money, and then via only her kindness I was safe and with someone I loved.
We drove for maybe 10 minutes, heading no place but south. I said I was shattered and needed to find a hotel. We ended up via some wrong turns in Towawunda, a town we discovered was less than
Click images for desktop size: "Dangerous Girl" by Unknown 10 miles from Niagara Falls. We were on a quiet road and saw the Anchor Hotel. It was a good choice.
The motel was on a large private lake. The house where the office was had the most spectacular yard and view I'd seen in ages. The room 124, was clean, old fashioned but modern enough.
We drove into town and I ate at one of the chain restaurants I normally dislike. The food was bland but better than what I'd had. I ate only half of it. The rest I took home and ate during the night.
My friend told me of her day. She'd gotten to Maplehurst about 1:00 PM, about the time that I was pulling into the Prison Shopping Mall, or maybe that should be the Shopping Mall Prison. She gave the guard fifty bucks cash to put into my prison canteen fund. He took it and ordered her to sit and wait for visiting hours. Then the guard discovered he couldn't find me. I was there but couldn't be found.
My friend called the social worker. Their up to date records showed I was still there. They said I had to be because it would be illegal for Immigration to remove me with no notice. A bit later she noticed that the records had been updated. I had been released into society . . . or maybe I'd been transferred to a Detention Center. No. I had been given my unconditional release and should be home now.
My friend asked for her money back from the guard. He told her no. It was my money in my account now. She pointed out I wasn't
Click images for desktop size: "Merle Haggard" there. Pretty reasonable, I think. He said no, that she'd have to wait till four and take it up with someone else . . .
Meanwhile she was near panic as she now had no idea where I was. She went home and found my messages on the voice mail and . . .
I felt bad because the prison had abused her near as much as it had me. I've visited prisoners in jails and prisons all over the world. I'd never experienced anything as purely evil and plain nasty as the Canadian system. I'll try and go into details about that tomorrow.
We went back to the Anchor and enjoyed being together the way we used to.
My friend finally fell asleep. I tried to sleep but couldn't. I was exhausted but exhilarated, exhilarated but lost. I went through my stuff and figured out what the prison guards had stolen. Two things really irked me. They'd stolen my new razor! I thought that was incredibly low and personal, like stealing my underwear!
Also annoying was that I'd had about 45 Tylenol 3 - the ones with codeine. Pain pills for my shoulder. They'd left me six! I really don't know why they'd left the six. Some bent prison guard logic I'm pleased to not grasp.

Click images for desktop size: "De la Haut" by Alexandra Petracchi At dawn I took a shower and walked around the lake. I felt tired but I liked looking at stuff, liked walking more than 6 steps before I had to turn around.
I went and looked at this restaurant we'd passed in the night. It was where we'd decided to have breakfast.
I walked down the highway and started to get passed by a lot of bikers. The highway was part of some historic scenic trail. It did look pretty. Some Japanese biker stopped in front of me and said, "Good morning American Human!"
We chatted for a brief moment. I just enjoyed being with someone so overjoyed with life that he needed to talk to anyone, even a stranger, to let them know how great the world really was.
When I went back we packed up and went to the roadside restaurant. It was very good and set our mood to light and frothy. We hit the road after a lot of jerking back and forth.
Somehow we decided to head to Erie, Pennsylvania. Totally capricious choice. We both knew the name. ALthough I only knew it because of that old folk song.
At Eerie we checked into the Days Inn, Room 426 as it was the first place we'd seen. We lugged everything in and then went out to explore. Erie was a blasted town. Far too many closed down banks to be comfortable.
We went looking to get hair cuts and ended up at the cheap mall. Very scary place. Somehow we got directions to the "nice" mall and trekked over.
At the mall I got a bad hair cut, my friend got a slightly better trim. We looked around and got bored with everything except each other.
We went back to the hotel and got information on bus tickets. Then we went out to explore a bit. We were going to go see a Double A baseball game. The Erie stadium looked cool, a charming band box of a site. Except the team was on the road!
We decided to go down to the pier and see the touristy style stuff. Everyone was exited about the fireworks coming that evening. They had two boats that were going to sit out in the harbor during the show but they were already booked.
We went and had dinner at the "Smuggler's Wharf". It was okay. I liked what I had even though it was too rich and made me queasy (blackened salmon). While we were talking I told my friend that I was upset about my description. Now at the prison they'd never taken my fingerprints, DNA or even a photo but they had described me as having brown and gray hair!
I said, "Me! Gray hair!" and slapped my chest. That made my shoulder wrench in agony. We were eating al fresco so I could get up and walk about while it recovered. It was closing in on dusk so we
Click image: "Jack and the Beanstalk" by Maxfied Parrish decided to watch the fireworks show.
There were maybe a hundred little boats in the harbor and a few thousand people crowding around. I felt claustrophobic so we moved further away. It was a good choice. When the fireworks started we were now in a perfect position to see them at their best. There was a guy in a boat and he was playing his Fourth of July Mix Tape. This odd amalgamation of pop, classical and rock. He'd been working on it for years I'd guess. It fit the show pretty well.
The fireworks were vapid. My mother loved fireworks shows. My only memory of them was how smokey they were and how much I preferred seeing the smoke trails to the show.
It was pretty underwhelming. We saw enough and left early to avoid the growing crowd. Sadness was creeping in. Tomorrow we'd have to part.