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June 25, 2006
Everybody keeps asking me stuff!
Everybody is always saying, “Oh Shelby, how can I get a dog as great as you?!”
You can't!
I is Shelby and there is only one me!
But I can tell you people who is smart enough, and you is already pretty smart cause you is listening to what I has to say! See, scientifical logic that is!
You be really really smart and listen to me.
The first thing to having a great dog is training! Lots and lots of training. You has to learn to do EVERYTHING your dog says! When you has learned to do all that your dog teaches you that is step one!
Now the next most important thing is really the most important thing.
It am treats.
You has to give your dog plenty and plenty of treats. Here am why.
Treats make a dog feel gooder and when a dog is feeling gooder he knows more and more stuff cause he doesn't have to think about how much she is needing a treat! When she is not thinking about needing a treat she is going to think about great important things! Not as great as what I think about but pretty great.
You should give your dog a treat first thing when she wakes up. See, this is because you is happy you has a dog to spend your day with.
Then you has to take your dog outside to go to the bathroom. You has to give her a treat then so that she can remembers she is not a cat!
When you comes inside you has to give your dog a treat to say thank you for coming in with you instead of going off and playing!
Then after you gives them breakfast they really deserves a treat for cleaning up their bowls so good! If they don't cleans up their bowls real good you must give them 2 treats in a row to make up for giving them a terrible breakfast!
If they is a working dog like me you has to give them a treat when they is driving your car. It is a lot of work driving, we has to think really really hard. So then you just keeps giving her treats cause she is working so hard at driving.
Is you starting to get the picture?
Every time she is not bad you has to give your dog a treat!
Like if a stranger walks by and they bites him, they gets a treat for protecting you AND if they don't bites him they gets a treat for not being mean!
It is your important job to notice every time your dog is not being bad girls!
In the day a dog deserves 16 or a kajillion treats! That may seems like a lot but does you want to be cheap like stingy David or do you wants a great dog!
Of course you wants a great dog like me!
Now for treats here is a good list!
Vanilla Ice Cream
Cheeseburgers
Strawberry Ice Cream
Liver Treats
Sirloin Tips
Frosty Paws
Cookies
Frozen Yogurt
Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
PIZZA!!
These am all good treats. You should start with the first one and then keeps going through the list and when you gets to the end starts all over again at the beginning!
Your dog will be so happy and isn't that's what's important? And when they is happy they will be nearly as great as me.
They may even tell you a good joke!
See how serious I looks. I'm not joking now let me tell you!
Posted by Shelby at June 25, 2006 6:39 PM
Comments
Hot dogs & rack of lamb are good, too!
Posted by: jimmy at June 27, 2006 2:20 AM