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September 9, 2006
My nose is bent out of shape!
That am what David calls it. I calls it being plenty mad!
I told you about that eagle being mad at me cause I told my team how to best them Eagles last week. I figure that old eagle was plenty mad because he couldn't beats me up cause I is so big and strong. So he went and hurt him a mole!
You might not know what a mole is. They am a little tiny animal like a mouse and they lives under the ground! But this am important, they has tiny tiny little eyes and they has little hands like people hands!
They do!
You is probably asking yourself, “Why does a little animal needs people hands?”
I has figured it out!
They has little hands so they can opens little doors!!
I has figured out that underground is filled with little doors. Moles needs little hands to turn them little door knobs!
I don't needs hands cause I has David to open them doors for me!
See?
Now I found this little mole and he was just lying there. I made David comes and picks him up so I could doctor him. I doctored him real good. I figured out that old mean Eagle hurted that little mole to scare me.
Now that makes me mad when big things hurts little things. See, this old eagle was wanted to scare me because last night we was to play the Hawks!
As you know Hawks am just little eagles! They is so! You can look it up and if your book don't say hawks am little eagles then you had better go get you a better book.
I has doctored that mole and he was good as new. I calls him Moley!
I was thinking about Moley when we was going to the game. One thing about my fellow coaches. THEY NEVER TELLS MY PLAYERS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!
They goes blah blah blah and all them players is near as bored as me! They never says blah blah blah and to win the game you has to score more touch down then them other guys do! They never says that so them poor players is out there not knowing what to do!
So before the game when them coaches is off playing tic tac toe. You think they'd get tired of it but that is all they do, make little x's and o's all over the paper. I took the chance to tell my team what I has just told you about Moley and that mean old Eagle. And I told them that they has to show them Hawks and Eagles we is not a scared! We has to go out and score touchdowns and win the game!
I told them that nobody ever says, “You is tough as a bird!” And they never says, “You is as smart as a bird!” Nobody says that but they is always saying you “Be as smart as Shelby! Be as tough as Shelby!” They also says how beautiful I is but that wouldn't help us win no football games, silly!
Then I says, “So go out there and score them touchdowns for Moley!”
And they was so mad about Moley they went out and beats up them Hawks real good and won the game 28-7!
I is a great coach!
Then, today I went and set Moley free. He was all healthy cause I is a great great doctor. And he said bye bye.
I got weighed. I has been on a diet for a month and I has lost NO WEIGHT!
See how stupid it is to not gives me all the food I want!
I has growed 2 more inches!
I has to get bigger to hold all the greatness I has in me.
But I still has not learned how to fly. But I is working on it!
Posted by Shelby at September 9, 2006 6:18 PM
Comments
There is so much to say (as opposed to nothing left to say) but all of us ageed on this:
You are a fine doctor, Doctor Shelby; big things are always hurting little things.
Posted by: Ben, Robin and Blue at September 9, 2006 6:34 PM
Shelby-
That "Guaca-moley" looked cool! I haven't seen one of those. I want to know where you grew 2 inches! Are you taller than me?
Posted by: jimmy at September 15, 2006 2:10 AM