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October 15, 2006
Today I am 17 months old
And I still has got no presents from you! I is a very poor dog. I does not have no cheeseburger pizzas. I has no got no ice creams. It am very sad.
Not it isn't!
Maybe a little but I is so great it does not matter too much. Of course if you was to send me some ice creams or cheeseburger pizza that would be very nice of you. Almost as nice of you as I is to you. I is always talking to this computer and you people don't send me nothing but stupid questions!
Vince from North Carolina has writ to me. He says:
Dear Coach Shelby;
In our conference we see a lot of Cover Two and Cover Four defenses. The new wrinkle is to disguise them with a 4-3 red dog and a rotating umbrella zone. What is the best way to attack this defense.
Boy. You sure don't know nothing about football! The only smart thing you has said there is that you is trying to get a dog into the game. That am very smart. But then you ruins it by wanting to use a red dog! Everyone knows us black dogs am the greatest football players!
Ben from Canada has writ to me. Canada is very far away and it am covered in ice! And all year long they has ice cream on the ground! You can looks it up!
Dear Counselor Shelby;
(Counselor am what Canadians call us lawyer dogs. I thinks you get to charge them more for calling you that!)
The lady next door to us has thrown some very good balls over the fence and into my yard. My mom is not too smart and she has thrown them back over the fence, all except one. I hid it. Do I have to give it back so she can throw it back over the fence?
You can tell Ben is a dog cause this am a very very smart question. If he were a girl dog it would be even smarter. If he were a girl dog he wouldn't even have to ask a question!
The law is very clears about this Ben. You is a dog so you only has to give back the ball if they can catches you and takes it away from you!
They is a different law if you is not a dog. They has different laws for peoples and for dogs cause dogs almost always does the right thing but peoples don't hardly ever do right unless a dog is pushing them! Really!
I has to say this - habeus unum proctor vidi. I is a lawyer dog and I has said Latin words so I has to charge you more. Lawyers am very worried about making sure we can charge you more.
I is very tired. My big brain is burning up from answering these questions! And you doesn't even has to pay me! Of course if you wanted to send me some ice creams I will be waiting by the front door when it gets here!
Posted by Shelby at October 15, 2006 7:23 PM
Comments
Shelby
As Moonlite's Bee Bop Deluxe, you don't need no ice cream, especially since you weighs more than your brothers Jimmy and Ballou and more than your sisters Laya and Donita. You is so smart, you should be able to figure that out yourself!!!. You must stay fit and trim if you to run and catch the baseball. Gramma sends you hugs and love.
Posted by: Gramma at October 17, 2006 10:20 PM
SKUNK! You caught a skunk...are you sure? Maybe David just farted.
Posted by: Ben, Robin & Blue at October 23, 2006 9:24 PM