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November 8, 2006
I is very upset!
No I isn't I is MAD!!
It seems that in my house - my house! - There is a Mister Stick-Your-Nose-Where-It-Don't-Has-No-Business-Being Mr Snoopington eavesdropper!
I is too much of a refined young girl to say who it is so I will just gives you a clue. His initials am DAVID!
You can probably figure out who it is but you didn't hears it from me.
If a girl wants to keep a diary - like me, I is the girl I is talking about - if a girl wants to keep a diary and she wants to share some of her great adventures with a few of her friends - that am you, see, you is the friends I is talking about - so if a girl wants to let some of her friends reads her diary that doesn't mean that just any old busy body curious CAT or BOY is allowed to read them words!
that am a law. And I is a lawyer so you knows I knows what I is talking about!
Mr Snoopington has read my diary about my great joke of hiding a monster in my bath tub! Mr Snoopington was so scared about going into the bathroom he used a trick to get me a bath!
^-== See up there. That am me before a bath. See how beautiful I is. I is just so darn cute. There am a boy dog back there too. He also got tricked. But he am a boy so what do you expect!
==> See over there that am me after I has been tortured and had everybody being mean to me. Of course I is still beautiful. I is always beautiful but now I is all fuzzy! They cut off my dreadlocks! They cut off my fighting claws!
It were terrible.
I looks like a sissy!
My football team wouldn't even play with me. See, it is one thing when a tough football playing dog scores a kajillion touchdowns against them but when a sissy looking, although a beautiful sissy looking dog beats them like I do they is just embarrassed.
A tough dog beats them and they can say, “Of course she beats us. It am SHELBY!”
But when it am a sissy dog they goes, “Oh no. What if the other guys see this beautiful sissy dog beating me! They will say you gets beats by a sissy dog and not even wait for me to tell them it were Shelby! Cause they'll say Shelby is no sissy. Shelby is tough! That weren't Shelby!”
I understands. It would almost be as bad a being beaten by a CAT!
I is not mad now. I was seeing my patients today and we played football at the hospital! Them adults were sure mad about that but I just tell them nurses, “I is a doctor and I out ranks you!”
We played pretty good too.
I was telling them the joke about the kangaroo and the 3 ducks. I know it is an old joke but when I tells it it am really really funny!
Then I was telling them the old one about the Cow and the butter churn.
You probably know that one too but remember it am me telling the jokes and when I tells a joke it is like you has never ever heard it before!
Posted by Shelby at November 8, 2006 6:34 PM
Comments
>>>They cut off my dreadlocks!
>>>They cut off my fighting claws!
Do we smell a lawsuit??
You WILL win.
Posted by: Ben, Robin & Blue at November 8, 2006 8:47 PM
Shelby
You is very beautiful after your bath. Remember girls can be beautiful and still be tough. Girls are special. They can be both at the same time. As for your dreadlocks, it is okay, they will grow back. You is a beautiful girl. Keep smiling and showing your pearly whites. Gramma
Posted by: Anonymous at November 10, 2006 9:02 PM
WOW!!! That is one big mouth and long tongue!!! Nobody would call you a sissy! How is your skunk?
Posted by: jimmy at November 13, 2006 12:31 AM