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February 28, 2007
Who says I don't talks good English!
I doesn't has to!
I speaks perfect dog! I has little bit of a Belgian accent but everybody thinks that is so cute. Anyway I bet I speaks English better than you talks dog!
Noelle. What am I going to do with her.
I works so hard trying to teach her stuff but she just don't listen.
I can't even teaches her that she is not a cat!
Everybody knows what a great teacher I is so if she is not learning stuff it is all her fault!
It is so!
I thinks about what I is going to do about her and I gets my giant brain so worked up I has to take a nap!
Then when Miss Noelle wakes me up I has forgot the answer to the question!
It is a good thing I is a great doctor and a great lawyer. Teaching Noelle ANYTHING is too hard a job. So I let old David worry about it!
Then I can just looks over his shoulder and tells him he is doing it all wrong and then laughs a little bit when David is not looking!
Sometimes it is hard to believe that Noelle is a girl and not a dumb old boy. I think a lot of it is that she thinks she is a cat.
She does make me know something. I has decided to be a psychiatrist dog! When I does that I can looks right at people and go, “You IS CRAZY!!” And you will have to believe it because I is a doctor psychiatrist dog!
It is a good thing I is a great lawyer dog.
I has another client!
Of course it am a boy. My brother Jimmy!
He has been falsely and maliciously accused of a first degree misdemeanor!
That is lawyer talk for “Jimmy has been naughty!”
It is a good thing he has come to me. I don't know why but that am another thing lawyers is always saying on TV.
“It am a good thing you has come to me, Jimmy!”
My clients has been accused of stealing a “Hello Kitty” wallet!
This is a very bad crime.
I watches a lot of TV and eats popcorn so I knows what a lawyer does. I examined the evidence and talked to the witnesses!
My Aunt, who is also Jimmy's mom says, “I came home. Jimmy was in the window saying hello! When I came in he was very good and didn't jump on me. He just waited to be petted.”
So I says, “Hmmmm.” Lawyers always says , “Hmmmm.” I think it is supposed to make people think you care about what they is saying.
“Hmmmm. So Jimmy were being a very very good dog?”
“Well, yes, I guess so.” See how I tricked her into saying Jimmy was a good dog!!!! That is great lawyering!
“Then I noticed that the cat was sleeping in Jimmy's bed,” she said.
“You makes a good dog lives with a cat! We pleads not guilty because living with a cat would make anybody crazy!!”
“Nikki is a very good cat,” she didn't listen to me and kept ignoring that I was interrupting her!
“I saw my wallet, right there is Jimmy's bed! And it was all chewed up! Jimmy is a naughty boy!”
“Excuse me, ” I said, all delicate and proper. “You never saw the wallet in Jimmy's mouth?”
“Well, no.”
“Please just answer the question and I reminds you that you is under oath.” I don't know what that means but lawyers am always saying that!
“You has admitted Jimmy am a good boy. You has never ever seen the wallet in Jimmy's mouth. You said the wallet was lying right next to the cat who were sleeping in Jimmy's bed!”
“Yes, that is right,” my aunt said.
“I know who has done the crime. I has solved the whole case. I is such a genius!”
My aunt said, “Shelby, it was not the cat. Okay?”
“I know it weren't the cat. Cats is very sneaky and very lazy things.” They smells terrible too but I didn't say that in court. “If a cat had stoled that wallet it would have left it someplace stupid not all nice and neat in Jimmy's bed! And if Jimmy had stoled the wallet he would just have chewed it up and left it in the middle of the room. He am a boy, you know. No, only one thing is sneaky enough - like a cat is sneaky - and smart enough - like a girl is smart - to have chewed up the wallet and then hid the evidence!”
“It were Noelle!”
My aunt said, “Shelby, Noelle has never even been to my house!”
I said, “That am just how sneaky she am! CASE CLOSED!”
This am Jimmy celebrating being found innocent, thanks to my lawyering skills! He thinks he looks dashing.
Posted by Shelby at February 28, 2007 1:37 PM
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Comments
so do we address you as Doctor Inspector Detective Shelby now? That would be DID Shelby!!
blue says your pay is in the mail!!
Posted by: ben, robin & blue at February 28, 2007 3:08 PM
Shelby,
You're so smart! That Noelle is very sneaky. Jimmy does look pretty dashing in his bow tie. Nikki said to tell you that she would never steal anything. Besides, she has people to buy her stuff.
Keep trying to make an honest dog out of Noelle.
Posted by: aunt sheryl at March 2, 2007 1:22 AM
Hey Shelby & Noelle,
Is that a CAT you arrrrrrrrrrrr eating??????
Posted by: Nikki Kitty Prrrrrrincess of Purrrrrsia at March 2, 2007 1:23 AM