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July 22, 2007
It were all his fault!
You all know how I is always telling David, “Oh please David don't gives me no pizza or ice creams. I only wants good healthy food. No treats for me, thank you.”
You see how I says thank you even when I is telling people no. That am because I is just so polite.
You know I is always telling David that. “Don't give me no more scoops of delicious ice cream, and no cheeseburgers for me please!”
See that guy there. He am my witness! I am always telling David stuff like that. And he heard me say this a kajillion times. “No delicious fatty treats for me thank you!” I is always saying it!
I met this guy at the veterinarian. We becomed very good friends really fast.
So we has to go to the vet's. I figure I has to consult on a very important case. Dr Karen is always asking me my advice on stuff.
That am because most of the time Dr Karen is pretty smart.
Well I is sorry to say that Dr Karen has violated the Hypocrites oath all us Doctors has to take.
You know why?
IT IS ALL DAVID'S FAULT!
Dr Karen has said I has to go on a diet.
I bet you has fainted. I will wait for you to wake up.
Now that you has waked up you is saying, “Shelby, you is the most beautiful dog in the whole world! You are perfect! There's no way anyone could make you better!”
You is right.
And the first law of the Hypocrites Oath all us Doctors has to take is that you never ever ever puts a fellow doctor on a diet!
It may not be writ down that way but all us doctors understand that am the way it works.
When I went to see my patients at the hospital they all were saying, “Shelby, you is looking so hungry!” and every time they tried to give me jut a tiny little nibble of a treat mean old David said, “NO! Shelby is on a diet! She has to lose weight!”
Everybody thought he was crazy! We all kept telling him, “Shelby is too perfect. She doesn't need no diet!”
My brother Jimmy even sent me some beautiful cookies and pies and wonderful VERY HEALTHY TREATS for a dog and they got no fat or bad stuff in them except delicious vitamins but I don't get NONE!
I bet I has already lost a kajillion pounds!
Next week I will be an official psychiatrist dog!
My colleague Dr Eric has just finished up school and got his psychiatrist papers! I don't know how he got his before I got mine. He is very slow. I always beats him in races.
We is going to go for a walk and we is both going to look at people and says, “You is crazy!”
Here is a picture of Dr Karen. You can see she is doing her favorite thing: being mean to a dog and poking them in they butts!
Posted by Shelby at July 22, 2007 10:42 AM
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Comments
Dear Miss Shelby
I would think that a diet would be okay by you. You need to stay quick and fast so you can catch all the bad guys and bites them in the butt. Your sister Laya weighs 50 lbs and your brother Ballou is 55 lbs. He is solid muscle and knocks me over when he jumps on me (which he isn't suppose to do, but does anyhow). Increase your exercise and decrease your food intake. You will be so busy exercising you won't even know you are eating less. Hugs and kisses. I think of you all the time. Gramma
Posted by: Gramma at July 30, 2007 6:30 PM