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October 20, 2007
I has got a problem!
You is saying to yourself, “This is impossible! How can Shelby have a problem?!?”
I know but it is true.
It am so terrible I even has to ask you for some helps with it!
Before I does that I will tell you about my life. I know my life am much more interesting than yours. If its not then why is you reading this! See, that am logic.
They won't let me doctor! They won't let the greatest doctor dog in the world work!
I can't affords to lose me another job let me tell you, not when I lives with someone as cheap as you know who.
When I talks to them they say they doesn't has no doctor dogs cause they is afraid of infection! This am pretty smart. I sure don't want me to get no infections let me tell youI
So I tells them not to worry I has had all my shots and even though they sticks me with a mile long needle that really hurts and I never cried I is pretty sure I is save from getting infected.
But they still says NO!
They is very stupid.
I is going to find me some patients don't you worry about that. I is trying to paint me a sign to put on the front door: Doctor Shelby Am Now Seeing New Patients. Please Has You Nickels Ready
It is very hard painting.
Then when I steals all the patients from them stupid doctors who don't know how great us dog doctors is I is going to know something let me tell you.
See that am how you solve problems.
So now you is even more confused and saying to yourself, “Shelby always knows how to solve terrible big problems! What terrible big problem has she got that she needs my help with? I know, I'll bet she needs help because she has to live with dumb old boys now!”
No.
My problem is not dumb old boys. I knows how to handle them.
My problem am with a boy - of course. It am DAVID. He is a cleaning maniac!
Maniac am a word that means CRAZY. It am from the latin man, which am another word for boy and ick, which means icky disgusting; which may be another word for boy. So Maniac means a disgusting boy.
David am a cleaning maniac! He am always cleaning everything and then he always runs out of things to clean and starts looking at ME!!
I is terrible worried about this cause I works so hard on looking good and smelling good, I keeps myself so beautiful and then David comes along and ruins it.
WHAT IS I GOING TO DO!
It am a good thing one of the things I is best at is making you figures things out!
I hates baths.
You has been writing to me with some pretty good ideas for names for my dinosaur. You has also been asking me some pretty stupid questions.
The stupidest question am, “Shelby are those boy dinosaurs or girl dinosaurs?”
How stupid is that.
Just thinks a minute.
Would a smart girl dinosaur be stupid enough to want to fight me?
Would a girl dinosaur be stupid enough to get caught even by a super genius?
Of course they am all boy dinosaurs!
The next stupidest question am, “Shelby, what am wrong with your Trojans?”
What am wrong is that I is not coaching them!
When they is not on TV I can't study them and yells at them to do the right thing and scores them Touchdowns!
Now I has fixed up my TV and will be studying them hard. They sure won't be losing any more of them games!
Now most of you know I is a Trojan but I was borned a Buckeye. You has probably noticed that Ohio am number 1! And I hardly has to help them at all.
It am time now for me to go watches me some football. I misses coaching football players and playing games against them Wildcats and stuff.
I is also getting excited about Halloween. That am a day when you gets to go bug you neighbors and makes them gives you food or gets to plays tricks on them.
Of course I is the greatest trick playing dog in the world so this am a good chance for me to proves it again!
I is trying to figures out my costume. See, no matter what costume I wears everybody always knows it am me!
I is just too beautiful sometimes.
Posted by Shelby at October 20, 2007 9:59 AM
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Comments
Shelby, you need to be a queen for halloween. A silver cape with lots of sparkles and sequins & of course a beautiful jeweled crown! Your beautiful black fur with the silver cape would look regal! (Please don't think of it as Raider colors.... it's just a nice combo for your coloring)
Happy Halloweenie!!
Posted by: Carla at October 24, 2007 6:49 PM