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November 6, 2007
What a fine kettle of something I won't eat this is!
I is just so tired of troubles.
That is my only friend there.
He am a dinosaur my aunt has sent me to train.
He am a pretty good dinosaur and you can see he is very small, just a little baby. I is going to teach him some real good stuff, let me tell you.
You is probably saying to yourself, “Shelby! You have a new dinosaur! You are Shelby! What could be making you so sad!”
Thank you for asking.
Oh, where does I start?
Where does I start?
This first one you just won't believes. Let me ask you. Who am the smartest person you know?
ME!
I has already had me nearly SIX MONTHS of schooling.
I was terrible smart in school, just terrible smart.
I has learned so much I has forgotted most of it!
There was too much even for my giant brain to remembers it all!
So what does the dumbest person we all knows decide to do?
If you don't know who the dumbest person we know is I will hint you that it is David.
Dumb old David has put me back into school!
It am a awful school! Just awful. They is all these dogs there and they don't know how to do anything that I know but there I is having to do it ALL OVER AGAIN!
"Sit Shelby. Stay Shelby. Heel Shelby." Blah blah blah didy blah!
Don't they know I can does these things and does them when I feels like doing them?
I does get treats and some of them dogs is so worried about getting the right answers that they drops they treats and I goes and scoops them up.
That treat part, that am pretty good. Pretty good.
I has talked to Noelle's parents. I has told them they had better not be taking away Noelle's forever home. If they did that I would have to bite they butts!
Of course they has listened to me. They said, "Oh Shelby. We will take great care of Noelle. We loves her. We won't ever ever talk about taking away her forever home ever again!"
that should have made me happy but when you is stupid sad like I is.
What has me just terrible terrible sad am this:
I know what you am thinking!
“That can't be! This is a trick picture! BEN AND A CAT!!”
I know. My friend Ben lying right there with a smelly old cat!
Ben says, “I was sleeping and when I woke up this stinky old cat was sleeping there! I HATES CATS!”
I wants to believes him. I really do, but it am hard.
Then in the middle of all this David says we has problems!
I tells him, “Look David, we has always had us some troubles, but we has stuck together and we has figured out how to takes care of everything! We done it before and this time am all little trouble compared to the troubles we has had. Except for Ben and that cat,” but before I could finish David interrupts me! How rude am that! Interrupting your dog!
David gives me a big hug and says, “you're right, Shel. We can get through anything!”
I kind of rolled my eyes at that.
What always happens is that David gets into trouble and I gets him out of it! I figured I was so worried about Ben turning into a CAT that I shouldn't remind David of this. He looked so happy it almost made me forget how sad I is.
How sad is I?
I has found this rocket!
I figure since I knows I can fly me a helicopter I shouldn't have no trouble flying one of these things.
When I gets sad I thinks I will just blast off into outer space and sit up there while everybody misses me or at least until they stops all this school stuff and all the cats in the world cat to Catalina or wherever it is they am from!
Then I thinks about how much fun it would be to drop water balloons on people's heads!
Can't you just see old David walking around, he is probably crying, “Oh where is Shelby? Where is she? I have all these terrible problems and no dog to fix them!”
And while he am doing that BLAMMO a big old water balloon whacks him on the head!And makes him all wet like he just had a bath!
Just thinking about that always makes me laugh and when I laughs I isn't sad anymore!
See, if you knows how to use them rocket ships am good things!
Posted by Shelby at November 6, 2007 5:52 PM
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Comments
That cat DOn'T know what doing! Dog is bad news! That cat been drUGged awfuL! ONly reason to lay with smelLY dirty dog. LOOK! Sumbody better tell him what awful trouble he in when he wake up.
I send Black Cat to beat that dog up real gud.
Yorick is a GuD kITTEN
Posted by: Yorick Is Gud Kitten at November 7, 2007 8:04 AM
The Satellite Motel... yeah!
I look at that rocket every day on my way to work 8)
Posted by: Shy at November 7, 2007 10:11 PM
Shelby,
You make all the other dogs nervous because you are so much smarter & prettier than they are! You are making them so nervous that they drop treats. Show them you are nice, too. When you've got it, you've got it!
Posted by: aunt sheryl at November 11, 2007 12:51 AM