Posted by David at 8:47 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Sorcerer's Transformation" by Unknown When I was seven years old movie theaters were just starting to decay. Movie Palaces they liked to be called.
On Saturday's my mother would drop me off at the Starlight Theater. The Starlight had a Kids Matinee. They showed 10 cartoon, 3 Three stooges shorts, and some incredibly cheap Monster film. It was great. About 200 to 200 hyped up kids with only a teenaged usher for supervision!
My mother gave me a dollar. A dollar was a lot of money. It was 8 comic books, a league baseball. It was calculable wealth but it was still wealth. So, often I'd find out when the movie let out so I could meet my mother in front of the theater and then bug out of the movies to have more refined dollar flaunting fun.
The Starlight tried to live up to its name by having black ceilings that were studded with whispering galaxies made from those little white Christmas lights. In a more cynical time it was probably nothing but cheesy but in the age, the time and the fact that I was 7, it was a wondrous thing that took everything to the level of celestial purity that made the surf and the ball field seem somehow smaller than dreams.
My mother would give me a dollar to go to the kiddie matinee. I always carried the dollar rolled up in a ball, clenched tight in my fist. I carried so many gooney things in my pockets it was the only way to keep the dollar safe. I paid my admission, 25 cents, and got my 3 quarters in change. Immediately I went to the candy counter and got either a popcorn or a box of Boston Baked Beans. They were both a quarter so the choice depended on external factors. The popcorn came in a box that could be dismantled and turned into a wicked paper airplane. The plane could be launched at the screen at the appropriate moment for big laughs or for frantic boos if the plane fell short or missed some cool target, like a naughty human body part.

Click images for desktop size: "King Features Christmas Card" The Boston Baked Beans were more introspective, they could make a pretty nasty sounding kazoo but that was a one note joke and lacked nuance. It was in the eating that they shined. I could nibble off the candy and then save up a handful of the "beans" for dual snack age fun. I also got to debate whether they were some strange bean I should coerce my mother into buying or if they were, in dull reality, stale peanuts. And if you'd ever had my mother's Sunday bean dinner you also would prefer stale peanuts flavored beans.
We all loved the cartoons, especially Bugs Bunny and Road Runner cartoons. The theater would get quiet when they were on then get raucous again when they put on a Deputy Dawg or a Heckle and Jekyll. For me it was incredible seeing the cartoons on a big screen, an enormous screen.
I've never been blown away by IMAX movies. If you asked me how big the screen was at the Starlight, the Old Egyptian, or even the old Cinerama Dome, I'd have said it was as tall as an angel and as wide as an angel's wingspan. I always thought the IMAX screen was as tall as an angel and as wide as an angel's wingspan and a bit more.
In London there used to be a Cartoon Theater in Piccadilly Circus. It was only a pound so I went hoping to recapture some of the scents of the Starlight on a Saturday. It was disappointing. The screen was small and high above the crowd. They showed some Warner Brothers stuff but it was all the made for TV stuff. It kept cartoons far too life sized.
The Cartoon Theater is gone. I think there's a McDonald's there now or a Wendy's or some other American bastion of domination. It really doesn't matter much which one it is now. At least not as much as what it once was.
The Boston Baked Beans would last me through the cartoons and get me to the Three Stooges shorts. My next course of action was predicated on what 3 Stooges they showed. For a "Curley" I would not move. It was too much fun then. We all laughed if not at the movie itself than at all the great Curly impressions that would go on around us. For a "Curley Joe Rita" there would be pandemonium. We all hated him as an impostor, a ne'er do well who encroached on our sense of order in the universe. The sight of 7 to 10 year olds in near riot agitation must have terrified the theater manager enough that anything other than Curley or Shemp was a rare occurrence.
There are many Shemp fans out there. Some who consider Shemp a more mature flavor of Stooge. They point out that Shemp was actually in "real" movies. that Shemp stood up to Moe and tried to hold on to his place and individuality in life.
I'm not one of those. Without Curley the Stooges were a mere nostalgic craze, a dim memory of what greatness once was and what greatness would seldom be again.
If a Shemp Stooges came on screen I would go out to the lobby to construct the greatest concoction
Click images for desktop size: "Astronomerd" by Gerrit Dou ever devised by the 7 year old mind.
I would go to the soda machine and get a cup of coca-cola without ice. Then I would go to the ice cream machine and get an ice cream bar. On the east coast I've heard them call an ice cream bar an Eskimo Pie and other heathen slurs. it doesn't matter as this was my invention and as such I claimed the right to name the ingredients appropriately and correctly.
Each ingredient was a quarter. Fifty cents was a fortune to me but is still cheap for the joy and pleasure it would soon construct. I mean, for fifty cents I could buy a pint of strawberry ice cream and two comic books from the drug store on Sunset Blvd and then go to the beach and stare at the waves while I waited for some gremmie surfer to lose his board so I could run out grab the lost stick and ride some shore break before the gremmie could yell at me. And yet, I insist my invention was better even than that!
The first time I had the stroke of inspired genius that led me to this creation was when the movie was "The Astounding She Monster!" was showing. It is appropriate that this piece of neglected cinema should have inspired other acts of genius. It was also a day we'd managed to smuggle my dog, Alex, into the movies. The pandemonium was such that after we got him into the theater, past the teenaged ticket taker we were totally safe to enjoy ourselves.
"The Astounding She Monster" was about a blonde alien woman who wore silver skin tight spandex (or whatever it was they used in the pre spandex days), with over plucked eyebrows and dark lipstick. She glowed and glittered!
Aside from the over plucked eyebrows she was as perfect a woman as had ever been imagined. Except she had one serious problem: Everything she touched on earth died.
A dog barked at her and she went to pet it and the poor thing died from the terrible radiation that coursed through her.
Everything of beauty, everything she might love was doomed to die at her touch. The tragic denouement had the "heroes" tracking the wracked creature by rolling her footprints, footprints that burned themselves into the grass.
This is pretty profound stuff for a kid. And you wrap profound messages up in a glowing glittering blonde and wrap it in sparkly spandex and you've opened up a path, a neural road to forever.
It's too bad "The Astounding She Monster" wasn't a better movie. Instead it's just a semiotic film that allows access to the better past and dreams of children who dream of making themselves better than their parents, the establishment and the world.
But it was during this movie that I learned to love story telling and it was during this movie that I learned my great kid secret and made my great kid invention. The first thing I had to do was eat the chocolate coating from the ice cream bar. This is very important as if any chocolate touches the other ingredients the chocolate becomes poison.
Trying to neatly nibble the icing off an ice cream bar in the dark while intently watching a monster movie while surrounded by 400 rowdy shouting running kids is no easy task. But, like many mundane chores, it has to be done. At least in this chore there's a payoff.
When the ice cream bar is denuded it has to be inspected and not dropped. This is especially important when your dog is with you. Dogs love ice cream. At least all my dogs love it. International
Click images for desktop size: "Wings" by Boris Vallejo is clear that anything that falls on the floor is automatically the dog's.
By now the ice cream was pretty drippy, which made my hands sticky, the dog excited and those gray shadows of despair were allowed to creep in. Everyone else was having fun and I was involved in experiments as deranged as the mad scientists on the screen. Great moments should always be thus.
The next step is not scientific, that means it must be art. In my world there is only science, art and faith.
You had to study the coke and study the ice cream - by now you have probably figured out what the invention is, if not its only because it is so mind snapping that you can't believe the simple genius invested here - and you must not account not only for the volume of the ice cream and the displacement of the coke but the variable that creates art - the foam! The foam that makes what happens next the pinnacle of greatness and not just another kid screwing around and making a mess.
When things were just right you plunged the ice cream into your paper cup of coke and there, as inconceivable as it might seem you were in possession of a portable black, the elusive coca cola float!
And after you had stirred the mix you still had the ice cream bar stick which your dog would enjoy eating until it was time to leave the movie.
I've told all of this because my wife has just gotten her visa. She can come and live and work here in the IS of A. So can giant dog and gentle dog and the new addition, aggro dog, can all come and live here and we can be a family once again. We've always been a family but now we get to live as one.
After nearly 2 and a half years it's over.
Al the money, all the paperwork and fretting and worrying and cursing and doubting is over. All the begging for letters of reference and being held prisoner to some whacko government standards of life are done. We're free.
And on hearing that my wife had gotten her visa the only emotion that compares is that time when I was 7 and I invented the portable black cow.
As I sat in the dark and watched my monster movie, my dog at my side while I sipped the aphrodisiacal sweet and foaming creamy concoction that I had made with my own two hands is about how I felt when I heard my wife and my family were going to be together with me again until the end.
Not that I would consider my wife an "Astounding She Monster" except maybe sometimes to keep things interesting. Although I do think she'd look great all glittery and glowing. But she probably wouldn't do that. She's like that.

Posted by David at 10:43 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "La" by Boris Vallejo I think Obama has let us all down. There's no change and no hope. Somehow he turned into a Republican.
There's no defense for his retracting the EPA rule that would have save the lives of about 1.5 million kids and saved suffering for millions more. It's unpardonable as is his excuse for doing this is a pure Republican fabrication: It would be too expensive for cash heavy corporations to stop killing children ergo children have gotta go.
And the word is that his job program is to ape Georgia. He's going to implement the Republican ideal and force people on Unemployment to work for free.
Georgia has 19 people enrolled in the program and 16 have gotten jobs from the program. Sounds like the perfect solution if you're determined to be incredibly ineffective.
So far the only people Obama has pleased are the RIAA and the MPAA, He's not fought a single battle and won. I don't think he's won a fight at all.
He's allowed the rise of scum like Rick Perry and morons like Palin and Bachman.
He's the worst leader since Bush.
What a disappointment. I voting for the Green Party.

I'm joining the Lane Kiffin Must Go movement too. Even though USC beat Minnesota is was a shameful exhibition. Five bonehead plays that would have gotten a high school coach called on the carpet are inexcusable in an elite program.
Going for 2 point conversions twice and failing? Going from the shotgun on 4th and 6? A non-existent running attack. Linebackers in disarray and a soft Tampa 2 that delights opposing OC's? It was clear
Click images for desktop size: "Frost" by Ankhammentu he was giving an inferior team every chance to win the game. He was playing inane NFL football in college football. It has never worked and it's embarrassing to see it being shoved down these loyal hardworking kids throats. The kids are winners the coaches are not.

I got my puppy's blood taken today to do a full blood panel. I worry over her. Gentle dog is having a bad allergic reaction. I think it is due to this hot weather. Things are blooming that are not supposed to and producing things that negatively effect us all.
He'll be fine but the medication hit him pretty hard. Poor guy.

Posted by David at 12:15 AM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Doc Savage-Man Of Bronze" by Baum

Posted by David at 2:36 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Heidi Klum" Happy birthday to me.
I spent the eve of my birthday playing with amps, capacitors and resistors. It was fun. Plan to do the same tomorrow.
Mailed a surprise present to my wife. Mostly handmade electronical present. I'm certain that when she opens it she'll appreciate the artistry, the thought and the hard work and she'll have no idea what it is or what it does. Isn't that great!?!
The hurricane was a bust. The earthquake was cooler and it was pretty dismal in its way. My puppy and I were out with out pennants too.
USC meets Minnesota in the opener in one week!
Football is nearly here.
AND
Shonen Knife - Osaka Ramones Get it. Play it. Love it.

Posted by David at 4:44 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Decoration" by WH Robinson My bank has named by checking account "Lifetime Free Checking". It's important to know this or else the rest seems pretty normal.
I got a letter and then an email this week. They both said the same thing: On November 1st your "Lifetime Free Checking Account" will be moved to "Everyday Checking". "Everyday Checking" will cost you only $7.00 per month.
My first thought, before I got angry, was that banks and I have different definitions for either Lifetime or Free or perhaps we see both words differently. I was slightly mollified by reading that because I had direct deposit on my account the fee would be waived. That was short lived as the next line stated that I would be charged $5 per month for my Debit/Checking card!
I'd been reading about the banks plans to pull this stunt some months ago. I thought it had been disallowed as common sense but also as unfair, disruptive and exploitive. I mean, hundreds of millions spent advertising free checking cards forcing people to rely on and use them while earning billions in extortionate fees from merchants and now the banks need to extort more money from us.
I was foolish. I believed that Congress and the President would protect us from the greed of the banks. The greed that has brought our country to its knees.
I was an idiot to rely on government to do the right thing.
I have to decide, unfortunately about whether to change banks and get stuck eventually for the same fees and deal with the present where a new bank would end up costing me more than $5 a month is usurious ATM fees.
These are not decisions that a citizen in the USA should have to make. I blame the government for ignoring the people and helping the banks violate basic human decency.

Posted by David at 7:26 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Superman" by Dc Comics

Posted by David at 1:44 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Wally WoodI'm fatigued, nearly as bad as leukemia fatigue but not as all encompassing as that.
It's the heat. The walking to work everyday and drenched in sweat. 3.1 miles and 3 miles of it wiping the sweat from my eyes. Then I stand on my feet for 8 hours, I don't get a break or a lunch hour. Right to work state means the employer can abuse us all he wants. No holidays, no days off and no vacation, just drudgery and abuse.
My glutes are sore, my hamstrings tight, my calfs throb and my feet swell up to almost twice their normal size. They have me on diuretics for the swollen feet. And my legs are fit. It never seems right that you can be fit and in fatigue pain at the same time. There should be a rule.
I'm tired and it takes almost all by brain just to keep pushing me to take that next step, get through the next hour, next 15 minutes.
It takes my sparse energy to deal with my loving puppy and my loving wife. After that I've little left for much else. I go hungry some nights because I didn't have the energy to tote home groceries or if I did I don't have the energy to prepare anything. I take my pills. Do my shot of insulin. Collapse and sleep a sweat filled jittery kind of sleep with a few hours of death in there but mainly I'm just trying to fall asleep.
To push me to sleep I listen to podcasts. I really only listen to two types: Dogs and old time radio. My current fascination is with "Our Miss Brooks" which is so dated and cruel towards woman I listen in fascination.
I saw the doctor for my annual check up. With all my negatives I'm fine. Tough, tight skinned (I've no idea what that means but they keep mentioning it). I still look healthy. I remind myself that doctor's spend most of their time looking at sick people so I can't put a lot of value to their well meaning assessment. I guess it means that I'm a mess but I sure don't look it. SoCal style, "Its better to look good than to feel good."
I have to add another insulin. Three more shots a day. Toughness is sometimes the ability just to go through each day and not remember.
Click images for desktop size: "Beezlebub" by Unknown We're moving closer to getting my wife a green card. I try not to look forward past this. I'm ignoring the future as best I can: The move, trying to find her a job, trying to find a house the usual rubbishthat can come up and become dramatic. The immigration process is aggravating enough and every small bight spot seems like a celestial explosion of giddy lights and slashing comets.
I've mixed feelings about the NFL lockout ending. The same way I think that Congress needs to be severely punished for the cruel government they've been imposing on us I think the NFL owners need to be punished for the stupidity of the lockout and the absolute disregard they've shown for the fans and spectators. How do you punish billionaires who treat us with the contempt they feel we deserve?
The prejudiced incomprehensible actions of the NCAA have tainted the joy of USC's upcoming season, but as practice has started this week I still find myself excited and looking forward to Troy destroying everything put in its way. My job still sucks. I dislike being manager and realize I was right to avoid it for as long as I did.Surprisingly I've gradually increased revenues by 30%/. Rah.
Of course I can't get through my little idea of small bonuses to the staff to thank them for the extra effort and extra work. When a staff of 6 are generating $15k plus a week net profit it seems more than churlish to not give a $50 or even $20 bonus for a job well done. Instead of threats, which is all we get, they think praise is wasted and that everyone is just trying to rip them off. Self fullfilling prophecy that. Hungry people gotta eat. And the unappreciated have no cause for loyalty. There's no reason to be grateful when you do your best and receive nothing but threats for uncommitted crimes.
The only good part of the managerial bit is that I get to fight for common sense and decency. The little extra money helps too. Its not much but even $20 a week can make a difference especially when your self worth demands you be honest.

I still have to figure out what to do with the site. I want it, need it. But, clearly, I can't keep it going the way I want it. I average around 200 visitors a day, for whatever that's worth. I have a vision of how I want it to be. Some of it's just not possible: A combination of my technical limitations and my lack of energy.
I'm making moves to be able to change some of the things I want to change. It's more a matter of content and rapid shorter posts. I think it can work.

Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by MacGeek I'm still getting bombarded with spam. That ticks me off. There are about 150 spam comments an hour. I like the comments. There's a fellow who keeps correcting my errors in artist's name. It's important to me but it's too tedious to go through emails and track down the offending caption. A comment would link me straight to it. And of course I worry about who might be trying to reach me and I worry that its important to them. Still need a solution to that.

Posted by David at 1:31 AM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Ambrosia Studies" by Olivia It's been an eventful week. Mostly depressing but with a bright spot that hints at glories to come.

My job just keeps getting worse. I piled up over 13 hours of overtime and, even with taxes, got a check that will ensure I'll be able to pay the immigration lawyer on time. No small thing.
I hate being the manager. Responsibilities for people who I would not choose to hire but with the wages being offered it is probably the best I can hope for.It doesn't help that my regard for the owners is low so I can't work up any concern for my co-workers ineptness even if they do make my life difficult and ungainly.
Yesterday I got a panic call because the toilet was out of order. Three hours later, and thinking why am I in here, sweating and doing plumbing repairs? That stint pushed me over 40 hours for the week and I took off 8 hours to go to the doctor!
They call me constantly. I keep telling them that they should be able to figure out most of this stuff themselves but, clearly, they figure for the pittance they receive (especially in comparison to the income they generate) thinking is an additional skill that isn't being paid for.
That was exacerbated by passing out an "employee manual" that lists 4 pages of reasons to fire us and two pages explaining that they don't do business over state lines so we are not protected by Federal labor laws (a strongly debatable point, actually a bold lying interpretation of the business) As a right to work state we have no right to paid holidays, sick days, vacation days, coffee breaks or even lunch breaks. Real inspiring stuff. Great laws too.

The doctor was depressing even though it was basically pretty good news. Nothing much has really
Click images for desktop size: "Running Buffalo" by Charles Russell changed. I still need to take a diuretic or else my feet swell up and the skin gets so taut it hurts! This is because of the lyrica, a drug they've decided I'm allergic to. As this is one of the known side effects I'm disgruntled that claiming it's an allergy that did me permanent damage is somehow my fault. A weakness and not some drug company pushing out a dangerous product and advertising it on TV.
The depressing bit was that I now have to be on two types of insulin for the diabetes (which was a known side effect to the first chemo I had - I like to tell people I'm allergic to sugar). The Lantus is the long term insulin, one shot is supposed to last 24 hours. The new one, also ungodly expensive, is short term and I have to shoot myself up every time I eat . . . It is hard to get excited about sticking needles into your stomach four times a day. For me the hardest part will be keeping the little vial straight and not over or under injecting myself with the wrong stuff.
The doc said I look good, still no indication I'm as sick as I am. Which is good. The people I work around have a propensity for attacking the weak. I still tacitly terrify most of them.

The bright spot is that my wife finally spoke to the immigration lawyer. She thought he sounded sexy. I still have no feminine side so I couldn't think of how to confirm or deny whether he is sexy!
I was surprised to discover she was afraid of talking to him. They spent a jaunty twenty minutes deciding if she was a secret commie war criminal trying to enter the USA to avoid prosecution for genocide and other war crimes . . . I feel secure that Homeland Security and Obama are wasting our money protecting us from these guys.
The end result is the lawyer sees her having no problems with the interview and he submitted the applications and now this week we'll get the date for our interviews. They have to be separate so we can't get together and practice our answers or write crib notes or something else that the USA needs protecting from . . . The lawyer nearly promised (as lawyers are wont to do) that my wife and I would be together before Christmas and he seems determined to make it happen.
Cool.

Posted by David at 2:42 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Woman Wailing For Her Demon Lover" by Hannes BokSo, I've been manager for two weeks and it sucks . . . What makes it worse is that the customers like me so business is up about 7% and about 20% on my shift, which means I'm even busier in a job I hate which really sucks.
It didn't help that I put in 50 hours last week and no day off. I was told I was going to get a "write up" for working too much overtime. That makes so little sense to me I don't want anyone to explain it to me.
Maybe things will be better when I get the next paycheck, but I doubt it sincerely.

Some fundamentalist Christian stranger went to a bit of trouble to get my e-mail address to chastise me for criticizing St Thomas Aquinas. I thought only Catholics recognized Saints. Shows a lack of knowledge of other religions on my part I guess.
So the church made him a saint. They took away St Christopher's sainthood but I still have his medal. The church says the Pope is infallible but they took away St Christopher's sainthood. I'll stand by my opinion.
My memory is that Aquinas was the first guy ever canonized with no miracles to his claim or credit. And I also remember that he wasn't canonized for his inane opinions about animals having the soul of a table, he was sainted for teaching and setting up the seminary process to churn out more and better priests. And the Catholic Church is reaping the benefits of that today.
There's also no mention of how Aquinas survived with his contemporary who proceeded him into sainthood, St Francis. Francis proclaimed not only did animals have souls but that all creatures were his brothers and sisters in God and Christ. He preached to birds, wolves and dogs so that they might
Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by John R Neil also have redemption and enter heaven.
So when it comes to saints I'll still to the fallen Christopher and St Francis and look at Aquinas as a political creation.
Once I lived with 4 dogs, 2 rabbits, a cockatoo, finches, a rescued sparrow and hummingbird (they'd fallen from their nests and refused to be released to the wild). When I'd come home they all had to come to me and meet me at the door, primarily to complain about the others in the house.
The sparrow liked to climb into my shirt pocket and have me tote him around. The dogs were always the most upset. The birds loved to take baths in their water dishes which drove the dogs insane and the rabbits. Well, I was convinced that the rabbits have more intelligence then most think or have the courage to accept. The rabbits would wait for the dogs to fall asleep and then they would stalk them on tip toe (!). Then when they were close enough they'd spring in the air and land right on the dog's stomach!
In the ensuing commotion the rabbit would run for all he was worth with the dog in hot barking pursuit. The rabbit always went for the bed. He 'd go under it. When I looked under the bed what I'd see was the dog desperately trying to get at the bunny. For his part the bunny was munching calmly and contentedly on a piece of alfalfa he'd previously placed there; munching about 2 inches from the dog's grasping jaws.
I have no idea why the rabbits thought this was a great joke and I also know that the dogs held no grudges as they would often sleep with the rabbits sleeping tightly against the dog's stomachs.
Now I still think that the dog's ability to forgive both the birds for using their water bowls as bath tubs and the rabbits for their violent practical jokes show that they have souls. If forgiveness and loving other creatures aren't the foundations of having a soul then what good is a soul at all?

My puppy remains happy. She wants things that I don't always understand. I'm lucky she can be patient with me, in an impatient way of course. She hasn't made up her mind about how she feels about my new schedule. She likes me being home at night but misses me being there during the day. Another consideration of our future I guess.

And I've been having a wonderful time hacking my nook. I've added an email client to it. I tried it as a full fledged Android tablet and was not impressed. I prefer the Nook but with added features! Right now I've been rereading "Lone Wolf and Cub" I'm on volume 10 of 28!

Posted by David at 3:02 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Eerie 1967" by Frank Frazetta I was watching "Law & Order: Criminal Intent" and there was this really ancient guy who they're debating whether he was killed or suicided. The solution was that he couldn't have suicided! He took 14 pills a day! That was the only fact they needed.
I take 14 pills a day.

My puppy got a bath on Friday. She spent all of Friday hating me and blaming me. Of course she waited until I had rescued her from the sadistic groomer! Then its safe to hate me.
Can't blame her for that.
She looks great. She's been blowing coat in this maddening heat. They got her all brushed out, nails trimmed. She's just as beautiful as I imagine her.
I can never get over how easily she forgives me for the wrongs, and the perceived wrongs, I've done her. My puppy cares about me, rejoices in me.
It's reciprocal.

I suppose the biggest deal this week though is my job.
They fired the supervisor for theft. I was surprised and disappointed by that. And then shocked by the depth and amount of the theft, as well as the duration.
I've successfully avoided any sort of supervisor/management responsibilities at this job but this time, as much as I tried to avoid it, I'm stuck.
At first I thought I was going to get out of it easily. Thier initial offer of a promotion would have entailed a fifty cent an hour DECREASE in my current salary. Somehow they were unaware that I already earned more than the mamgers and supervisors.

Click images for desktop size: "Flux" by MX Steel They fixed the offer and made a few other concessions so now I'm it.
The major thing for me is going back to working during the day. I start at 8:00 AM now instead of midnight. I'm hoping this does something to fix my constant fatigue. Maybe not but who knows.
It will be an adjustment I figure. No longer moving quietly through the dark nights and no longer dealing with crack heads and drunks with a violent attitude. Or at least not dealing with them when they're in full roar to their addictions.
I figure the little bit of extra money will go to the immigration lawyers.

Posted by David at 6:18 AM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Minnesota Canning Company" by Andrew Wyeth Life has been a chore lately. Debilitating heat and sweat mixed with hopeless rage and mercurial hopes.
Its like not much to walk 6 miles in a day but, nowadays, ending and starting your outside world day with that long walk and for it to be that way for 2 years is a feat, a testament to toughness and a gateway to helplessness. Independence comes at that cost most of the time.
My days have become tossing and turning in baed for 10 hours trying to get 4 hours of sleep. Then I walk around near zombie-ish for the rest of the day while I head into trying nights at work. It's a living.
So, I've been spending my idle thought cycles contemplating dogs. My puppy in particular and the species in general.
It's not that complicated. I'm not really capable of that complicated a thought process, pretty much like dogs. I'm reading this book about the emotional life of dogs: "For the Love of a Dog: Understanding Emotion in You and Your Best Friend" by Patricia B. McConnell, PhD. -whew- that's a mouthful and so is the book.
It gets pretty laboured at times especially when it tries to justify things that we intuit are right and good but really have no apt words to describe. The greatest pleasures in the book are when they codify, justify and give weight to things we already knew about dogs but were generally met with derision or at least sceptism by people who don't have it in them to be able to love another species.
I've never been able to grasp why not being able to love another species is considered cool, especially in the Judeo Christian ultra religious circle. Maybe loving an abstract that depends on faith wears out all their brain pan so they the synapses are too fatigued to love something that is standing at their side watching them with loving eyes. (I blame Thomas Aquinas a lot for this and
Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Unknown the endless tripe this ancient bastard spewed out that became accepted as dogma. His whack job insistence that dogs had no more soul than a chair leg is so mean spirited and cause for so much cruelty that one can only hope he's wandering the same circle of hell as child rapists.)
I guess the best part of the book are those chunks that make you go, "HAH! I knew it!" I, for one, always enjoy being able to toss around a book with actual words that defend and protect my position on abstract and obscure matters.
I don't think that the book will convince the animal haters or move the stupider or shake the faith of those who condemn dogs to the same role as furniture and fashion accessories. It might convince doggie agnostics but just might. One thing that's annoying is that McConnell works most often with working dogs and justifies the working dog as the pinnacle of doggie achievement. My puppy is a working breed and I still feel that is hog wash. Dogs are dogs and selective breeding (further proof of evolution?) might have certain purebreds crazier than others, and selective breeding may have distilled certain traits, in my experience dogs are dogs. While I might find acclimating to a Belgium shepherd easier as I know what to expect from specific breed traits there is no doubt that each of the Belgiums who've I've met and have lived with have been as different as human beings are different.
Environment, expectations and education have a greater impact than fur or skin color.
I also think McConnell comes close to but shows the timidity of all
Click images for desktop size: "Brenner & Kerr" over academic thinkers. She comes close to but shies away from the logical conclusion that dogs have a certain amount of reasoning and rough intelligence. I think that all emotions and their grade and intensity are predicated on intelligence anyway.
Sadly the idea that an animal has the ability to reason, that they have an ability to discern the difference between right and wrong is earth shattering and controversial. Rah! It isn't. I mean that mutant weasel who shot Congresswoman Gifford was found unfit to stand trial as he couldn't tell the difference between right and wrong (although he was sane enough to buy and own powerful hand guns??). I think my puppies are all capable of that sort of numbskull decision. The fact that they don't bite and crush our hands when they don't get the treats they want is proof of that.
Animal behaviorists like to ascribe that complicated thought process to simple learned behavior. Which is scardey cat twaddle or it can be put down that all humans are simple behavior machines. I reject that theory out of hand, except in the case of mutant weasels.
Like the giant dog has a joke. He likes to go to the door and act like he needs to go outside to go to the bathroom but as soon as you get to the door he spins around and jumps up on the couch and
Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Unknown laughs and laughs.
It his joke. It's not a great joke at all but it's nearly as good as the jokes 4 and 5 year old humans have inflicted on me.
It also knocks the behaviorists theory for a loop. The only thing giant dog gets out of his joke is that he gets to laugh at you for getting up out of the chair. He gets satisfaction from convincing us he had to go to the bathroom. He gets no food, no treats, no physical satisfaction at all except the ability to laugh at us.
As to thought he had to imagine the result. He had to desire that result and logic out a way to arrive at that result. This is a creative complicated thought process with the payoff being laughter and amusement.
I wish the joke were better but he's just a dog.

I've also added a new guitarist to my pantheon. Evan Foster of Boss Martians, Mystery Action and a stunning solo Surf album.
The Boss Martians are his main band but he's bursting with so many riffs that he starts as many side projects as Jack White! But Evan is cleaner and edgier than White. At first its not obvious how stunning Evan's guitar skills are. He believes, like me, that the song is the main thing, so his riffs are designed to make your jaw drop, they're designed to serve the song and let the tune rip your heart out. Avoid him at your peril.
His twisted cover of Link Wray's, "Fire And Brimstone" shows he has chops to better anybody, while his album "Instrumentals" is a maniacal take on reverb drenched excess.

One bright dot on the landscape is that I'm broke. Broke because I gave all my money to an immigration lawyer who seems very confident that my wife will be an American green card holder before Christmas.
That still makes me feel buoyant and happy.
Now it just has to happen and I will be happy.

Posted by David at 2:21 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Route 163" by Kuba Klewaniec Just finished re-reading Steinbeck's, "The Grapes of Wrath". Great book, great story.
What's crazy is that a rare masterpiece of a book was actually made into a masterpiece of a movie.
I'm used to a masterpiece being decided as much by the medium as the content. I can think of great books making good movies and great movies being made from decent books, But almost no great movies coming from great books.
I think its a testament to John Ford that the hardest thing about reading the book is shaking the near indelible images from the film. And its a testament to John Steinbeck that it doesn't take long for Tom Joad to be talking in his own voice instead of Henry Fonda's, and for the Preacher to become something big and real instead of a creation of John Carradine's.
They're both great works and they stand independently without complimenting each other. They remain unique and special each unto themselves. I think this is mainly due to the brilliance of the story. Stories about people finding their own way in a terrible land full of promise, promise withheld from the people, are always the stuff that fires up my imagination, It's the sort of story that creates values and gives a vivid purpose to morals.
The book is what's in front of me now. We know the story, the dust storms and the banks that created the depression. The rich bastards that perpetuated the depression for their own self serving purposes.
In the book the enemy is spelled out plain: "when property accumulates in too few hands it is taken away. And that companion fact: when a majority of the people are hungry and cold they will take by force what they need. And the little screaming fact that sounds through all history: repression works only to strengthen and knit the oppressed. The great owners ignored the three cries of history. The land fell into fewer hands, the number of the dispossessed increased, and every effort of the great
Click images for desktop size: "The Stranger" by DC Comics owners was directed at repression."
One of the things that sets literature apart from fiction is the ability of the writer to touch a stone and to see that stone from the gravel pit and into a future that exceeds his own generation's lifetime.
Steinbeck in telling the simple tragedy of the Joads driving a clunker 2,000 miles has set the stage for myth and metaphor. The simple plight of one family is amplified through it's present into ours so that people become symbols and names fail the reality and the names become us.
Explicit in "Grapes of Wrath" is the rise of the Populist movement in America. Populism terrified the big owners. They had to brand it with false names calling the adherents commies and reds. They were no such thing.
Populism believed in keeping people alive. It believed in self government , in supporting yourself and each other. It believed in feeding the children and in giving a man the dignity befitting a human being. Not very lofty ambitions.
The billionaires called the populists, reds, thugs, they called them an evil that would destroy America and they refused to let them alone and worked their hardest to destroy them. Steinbeck summed it up, "And the great owners, who had become through their holdings both more and less than men, ran to their destruction, and used every means that in the long run would destroy them. Every little means, every violence, every raid on a Hooverville, every deputy swaggering through a ragged camp put off the day a little and cemented the inevitability of the day."
See, the Koch Brothers haven't done anything new. They learned a few things. They appropriated the populist moniker and replaced swaggering deputies with racist young people and soft frightened old people. They used fear to motivate the people who don't have enough to arm them against the people who don't have anything. Then they went after the unions, the workers, while they acquire and force out the small businessman while telling the small businessman it is all the fault of those other guys. The Koch
Click images for desktop size: "Russ Tamblyn" Brothers and their allies scream: It's the Chinese or the Koreans or the Japanese and its your next door neighbor. It is everyone but me. And all we do we do to protect you until you become one of them.
Populism was bought with blood and gunfire and some of the blood was that of starved to death babies and all of it was from people who just wanted to work and have a home and enough to eat to stay alive. What we have today are the jack booted owners appropriating a name in an effort to side step the real suffering they are causing.
A better example of Tea Party faux populism is seen clearly in the film, "Meet John Doe" which is related to Steinbeck in its populist views and its view of the many by exploring the plight of the few. In "Meet john Doe" a genuine populist movement is financed then used and abused for personal gain by Eddy Arnold. Of course, in the movie as in real life, the populist characters survive the horrid abuse and exploitation because the faith in fellow man is greater than the faith in governments and establishments.
The book "Grapes of Wrath" is bleak because a world controlled by people who have forgotten their humanity in favor of acquisition is a terrible and bleak thing. The world of Ayn Rand jerks is a desolate and an unrich place not fit for habitation even by her adherents. Deeper and of great beauty is the life of those poor who struggle along and learn to live together with each other who see life as a small chance at pleasure and happiness.
"Grapes of Wrath" is a great book, meaning it's entertaining, lively with a story to tell about people.When you tell a great story about people you manage to become pretty all encompassing, not sodden or turgid but inspirational even in despair.

Posted by David at 12:20 AM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "The Earth" by Milad I was in hospital last weekend.
Tight chest pain, dizziness and weird pain through out the left side of my body. It felt like the side of my face that got paralyzed was turning into melting wax.
I started to work and decided I couldn't make it. So I took the doc's advice and turned left instead of right. Ended up at the emergency room.
The good news is that I wasn't having a stroke or a heart attack. The bad news is that I wasn't having a stroke or a heart attack but I'm now on the hook for all the tests that told them whether I was having a stroke or a heart attack.
They kept me over night. I'm not fond of hospitals. Not fond of many doctors either. If you remember the War in Grenada. Reagan's "Little" War. They sent in the marines to rescue some medical students . . . Rich kids who were too stupid to get into a real school. I mean they were so stupid that their rich parents couldn't even pull strings to get them into a real school, so they paid huge fees to go to this butcher shop in Grenada so they could pull strings to get their dumb kids a license to practice medicine and become self supporting.
I mean these kids were so dumb that their parents could get a war declared but they couldn't get them into a real medical school in America.
Every time I get a real stupid doctor, and they out number the good ones, I always ask them if they studied medicine in Grenada. I haven't met any yet but I have met two went to med schools in the Caribbean. I asked to see other doctors.
So after wasting a night and a day in hospital where I was pretty much ignored I went home. My puppy was glad to see me. Odd thing was that she hadn't defecated since I'd been gone and she had refused to play with her Kong. I thought she loved her Kong. I guess she only loves to tease me with the Kong. Maybe my puppy thinks I love the Kong.

Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Thomas Brechler I sleep in a single bed. I don't usually move around much so I'm comfortable in one. My puppy is comfortable in one too except she doesn't share and will seldom spend any time on the bed with me. When I lie down when I got home she jumped up and rested her head on my stomach and refused to move. She woke me once howling in her sleep but went right back to rest easy. I hope she wasn't dreaming about me.
I went back to work that week. It was hard. I still feel badly.
On Friday they sent me to see more doctors. More EKG's, more blood drawn, more tests, more physicals.
Theblood takers bugged me. The primary one commented on how young and tight my skin was then called over two others to see and touch me. It was embarrassing as well as making me feel put upon. I think they might have been trying to be complimentary but that is possibly just a hope. They also sent me to an endocrinologist. I don't recall ever seeing one of those before. He was interesting, cautious but open with his instincts. They're doing all sorts of tests and will let me know the results in a letter or a phone call and then set up a follow up appointment. They said I need more protein. They also said I'm still in remission. They also pulled me from the drug trial for some pretty obvious reasons. I asked if this meant they were revoking their six year life expectancy guarantee. He said something that made me laugh. "I see at least three times they've given up on you. It seems there's no good reason you survived your second heart attack and with no treatment. I don't think anyone would ever bet against you."
They gave me another pill to take. I know take 11 in the morning and three at night. Lots of chemicals.
My puppy doesn't care so long as she gets fed. I approve of her attitude.

Posted by David at 1:43 AM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Marta Dahlig I did my blood work on Friday. They take too much blood. That night the fasting and the blood loss made me wake up with the shakes and the night sweats. Since it was in the mid 50's being drenched with sweat was disconcerting. My puppy, who know matter what anyone says is a good girl and very crazy, took care of me and watched over me.
The blood work was as annoying as usual. They always have to stick me too many times to find a vein. The person drawing the blood kept talking about how tight my skin was. I asked what she meant by that. No one had ever called me a tight skinned anything before. It was a good thing, a compliment I guess. I might have taken it better if the nurse in charge hadn't put me through the usual tom foolery about how I don't look as sick as I am.
Won't get the results for a while. Have to get them online. Internet age. A curious thing, I think sometimes.

My wife has a new foster dog. An all white shepherd looking girl. The white girl dog was rescued from some well meaning but neglectful
Click images for desktop size: "Unknown Goth" abusive owners who thought they were doing the right thing . . .
The white girl is doing okay. She has issues. How could she not. She doesn't get along with the giant dog, which is understandable but she also has issues with the gentle dog. That is not understandable.
Still, experience dictates things will calm down and mellow. Dogs are too much like people sometimes. You take a small scared person and drop them into an established family and you know what happens.
Everybody reacts differently and yet we all react the same. Most, but not all, abused creatures including people are scared. When they come into a new situation from an abusive one they spend an amazing amount of energy either succumbing to the further abuse they anticipate or, the healthier ones, doing whatever they can to try and stop the abuse from ever happening again.

Click images for desktop size: "Purple Angel" by Artemis Rosakis Both types of people will usually respond to some calm and some laughs. They just need the space to be jerks and in a short time, shorter for dogs, when they don't get the terror they expect in response they give up the act. Some are too terribly abused and it takes more to get through to them, but they can be gotten through to if the goal is to let them be happy and not to control them.
I think the white girl will fit in well enough until she finds her forever home and that's all I ever ask.

One surprising effect of the great movie :I Saw The Devil" (which my wife thought was bleh) is the typical Asian rip offs of it. A sub genre exploring the tenets and roots of evil and fighting evil when just being good is nowhere near enough?
Jeong-beom Lee's "The Man From Nowhere" could never have existed with "I Saw The Devil". That doesn't stop it from being great. It actually benefits from the association and uses some shorthand to amplify its effects. Iy also uses a similar shorthand referring to Bresson's "Leon" to good effect.
Lee leaves most of the weighty stuff behind but gets plenty of good enough actors to give the timbre in the scenes.
Bin Won plays a former secret agent who left the service when his wife, pregnant with a girl, is killed in retaliation for one of his assignments. Won responds by becoming a ghost. He runs a pawn shop. He lives in the back of the shop and touches no one.
His clientele are junkies and thieves. One drug addict hooker has a little girl. Won has a safe affection for the little girl but keeps her at arms length. He barks at her and bullies her. She fills his iPod with music, for a fee and pawns her mothers things for drug money.
One day the mother gets involved in a drug heist. She is way over her head as the owners of the drugs want them back. She sticks the drugs in a camera case and has her daughter pawn the case to keep them safe.
After the gangsters show up to get the drugs this becomes a rip roaring action tale and its awesome, never letting the message get in the way of some terrific and terrifying fights. The message is pretty simple: The world is a terrible place and it is up to all of us to look after each other, especially for the strong to protect the weak.
The other rip=off movie that rates highly with me is Ching-Po Wong's :Revenge: A Love Story". Not surprisingly the title also describes the plot.
The movie starts with Juno Mak murdering women, pregnant women in the vilest most inhumane fashion possible. He slashes the women open and rips the near term fetuses from their bodies. He
Click images for desktop size: "Pirate Pattern" by Pirate Boy then throws the fetuses into the river.
The murders are brutal and excruciating. We soon discover that the dead women's husbands are all cops, not only cops but cops on the same team. And just when we're about to settle in for a good ol' serial killer type film there's a shift. The cops catch Mak and after brutally torturing him we see, in flashback, the reason for these heinous crimes.
What we see is unexpected, terrifying and tear inducing. There's no way to prepare for the reality of the situation presented here other than it's more than just tragic. Its presented in a totally believable way and is guaranteed to score the soul.
A few American reviewers have trashed the movie as being pretentious, a B action movie with A movie aspirations. I say, so what?
It separates itself into sections introduced by Bhuddist koans. I think this makes some uncomfortable and needing to write the whole thing off.
It explores evil at his most common denominator. And it does so with a grim purpose to force us to have an understanding of humanity and with all understanding comes a dark price: Forgiveness.

Posted by David at 1:26 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Martian Landscape with Geezlesteins" by Hannes Bok They caught the guy who robbed me.
Caught is probably too strong a word. He heard there was a warrant out for him so he went and turned himself in. He came in with a lawyer and claimed he wasn't there and that the crime was committed by his evil twin brother . . . I'm not making that up.
His alibi almost made me feel sorry for him.
The cop who came to tell me this seemed awfully expansive for 2 AM so I let him talk. I asked how the guy even knew there was a warrant out for him. It seemed like an odd knowledge to possess. Crime is such a labyrinth but I couldn't figure out how you could know there was a warrant out on you since that usually isn't in the newspaper or such. It seemed like it would have to be a guilty conscious.
Nothing like that. It seems the security guard who works with me has a deep police fantasy and he went to the internet and got his picture and then posted it around to the different places his company works. Kind of seems unfair and sort of illegal and invasive. Anyway the robber's aunt saw the flyer and told the robber about it. Which makes it seem that the cops did even less than I originally imagined.
They're holding the robber for $300,000 bail, which means, I think, that you have to come up with a bondsman and $30,000! It seems high. The cop said the judge set it high because the guy did 8 years for a previous armed robbery with a shooting and because the charge of an ex-felon possessing a firearm was more serious than the robbery! There's also the feeling that since he's been busted twice for armed robbery he has probably done several they can't pin on him.
The cop went on about how "these guys" can't be trusted and ex-felons never changed. He was deep
Click images for desktop size: "WWII" by Unknown into his list of nasty derogatory comments with the security guard in obnoxious idol worshipping agreement when I finally had to interrupt.
I said, "I disagree with that. People can change. If they can't then what's the sense . . . "
The cop said, "Some can change, but not many, not enough." Before he could get involved in explaining and before I ended up in an argument about responsibility and fair mindedness and cop ineptness I had enough sense to disengage and get back to work.
I've never liked cops.
They turn into the things they hate.

Posted by David at 2:21 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Kuomo 31" by Kabegami I got robbed this week. No big drama and no excitement. I suppose, considering, that is a good thing.
Work normally quiets down after 6. I was sitting on the stool staring when a guy wearing a hockey mask came through the door. He was kind of fat so he didn't move very quickly.
He came to the window and stuck his arms through the slot. He had a gun I guessed as a .25 automatic, real cheapo nickel plated saturday night special kind of gun, exactly the type that I think should be illegal to purchase or own. In his other hand he had a black gym bag. He said, "Put the money in the bag or you're dead!"
There's video of the whole thing and after he said that I take a long pause. The cops watching it said to me, "Thinking about taking him out, huh?"
That wasn't totally accurate, but close enough for small town cops. What I was thinking was, "I can't believe Antonio is robbing me and waving a gun in my face. Jerk. And shoving his arms through the window. That's insulting. I could stab him with this pen and he'd drop the gun quickly enough. Ah, hell. It's not my money and there's not that much of it anyway. We've had employees steal more than he's going to get and there are other people here and my wife would kill me if I get shot and my puppy needs to go for a walk. I'll just give him the money. I better not ask why he's doing this. He'd shoot me for recognizing him probably or shoot somebody else. That would be worse. Not really but it would feel like it was worse."
So I gave him the money and he left. Idiot strew money from the window all the way to his car.
Problem for him is that even with the hockey mask I recognized him pretty plainly and then there's video of him putting on the mask. Turns out he served 8 years for armed robbery already and he's got a court appearance in May on a drug charge. And he's not yet 30 years old.

Click images for desktop size: "Kill My Illusions" by ClasixArt Problem for me is that he's a regular customer. That night he hung out in the store for 4 hours, probably waiting. He wasn't a friend. I'm not friends with any of the customers. But we were friendly. I'm annoyed that someone who I know and who knows me would rob me and threaten me. It shakes what little faith I have in mankind even more.
Of course I still had to deal with the concerns that I was hardly devastated or panicked over the robbery. I have to remember to say things but, for me, other than the way I took it personally, it had little impact on me.
If I'd gotten shot I'd think about it differently I suppose but no one was hurt, the warrants are issued to pick the guy up. What more is there to it?

It looks like I'm going to do a study which is not a trial. I've done trials. Trials are only good when the alternative is sure death.
This is a study. A trial is where they think this will work but they're not quite certain of how or what the side effects will be. A study is when the drug has been approved and is on sale. The study is to insure something that's important to the drug company.
This study is for a diabetes drug called Juvenita or something close to that. It's a drug that the doc's wanted to give me but it is too expensive!
The purpose of the study is to avoid getting sued in case the drug causes heart attacks.
It's a five year study, which I take as proof positive that I'll live at least another 5 years. That's scientific logic that is. Unless I get shot, that is.
I get sixty bucks a quarter and a free supply of the drug, unless I hit the study group in which case I get the placebo. Fifty-fifty shot on that. Of course I want the drug. It's supposedly very good and will drive down my daily insulin dosage etc.

Click images for desktop size: "Human Freight Train" by NFl Films I go this Friday for the blood tests. Cool.

I'm going to start to experiment and turn comments on. The spammers might hit it too hard but then, they may have all gone away! Yeah. Like that'll happen. I still average about 150 spam hits an hour but they seem to have different objectives. The spiders that don't obey, or respect, htaccess files worry me. But I miss comments. Like some fellow went through a lot of grief to reach me to tell me that I'd misspelled an artists name. And it was a major misspelling too, like I touch typed with my fingers on the wrong keys sort of thing.

Posted by David at 1:00 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Airplane" by Unknown The world is in bad trouble. In the USA we've got a President who promised change but then turned in to George H Bush. In the mid-west we've got loonies hiding under the name of reverend going around burning books that results in people getting killed and nobody condemns him or threatens to shoot him because he's against women having a choice, I guess that makes him alright.
Its dark and getting darker for the world: Climate change, the price of oil, the destruction of innovation by the lying politicians and their cold eyed assassins.
There's no way out so long as the poor, the middle class, the children and the puppies are the only ones getting hurt.
The National Visa Center sent me a letter today telling me that we'd been approved to proceed with our application. The sort of statement that makes sense only to government workers and bureaucrats of the 7th circle. The main point of it all seemed to be that I had to send them more money.
My puppy's annual physical is on Saturday. She should be fine. I plan to take photos. Since the separation from my wife (due to governments not personalities) I haven't been taking pictures like I'm used to. I keep trying to get enthused about it again but it's a hard go.
I remembered taking pictures when my puppy and I watched a fight between a crow and a squirrel. It was very interesting. And then about 1o minutes later we saw an opossum cross a busy street in front of us. It went hhhhhhh at us and didn't even attempt to fool us into thinking it was dead. We chaperoned it across the street but it was as ungrateful as it was ugly.
Yes, I wanted to take pictures of an animal fight and of something ugly. I think people would have liked them.
In the face of all this cataclysm and personality the only safe thing to do is think about and over analyze the trivial.

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AppleTV vs WDTV Live

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The first thing you have to understand is that the DVD is dead tech. The BluRay disk will be following it soon.
The future and now are media files: H264 mp4's and mkv's. They do to movies what mp3's, aac and
Click images for desktop size: "Hawaiian Girl's Progress" by Chris Sanders flac have done to music. And it's all a good thing no matter what the old fogies at the MPAA and the RAIA have convinced Obama and any other cash hungry government man.
With the means of production and now distribution falling into the hands of the creators there's a nice little well spring of music and books starting to flood over us, most poor but many good and a few great. All pretty much distinguished by the fact that without the new method of distribution we'd never have heard of them or been given a chance to decide what we love or hate.
Of course the people who are used to telling us what we like hate that. Choice sucks when you're intent on propagating mediocrity.
Mp3's were getting huge but it was the iPod, the hardware that pushed them to the top. And now there are plenty of cheap media players for video, all that scream to take me from the computer screen to the big screen, the screen in the living room. The first one I became aware of was the AppleTV 1. It was a sleek small silver box with a smallish hard drive. It was also totally cool even with its heavy heavy limitations and shortcomings.
I got a Western Digital WDTV Live because I liked their drives, the WDTV can read multiple HD formats and not just the usual Windows litany and I got it on sale for about $80. It addresses a lot of the AppleTV's shortcomings quite nicely. I can attach an external hard drive for unlimited storage and it can play almost anything, whereas the AppleTV only plays mp4 and then it has to be in iTunes.
The WDTV gui is ugly. It can be fixed and fiddled and be made to be more attractive but that doesn't change it's basic homeliness. It works alright though and that means something. The AppleTV gui is beautiful and well thought out. It is graceful and simple minded to comprehend.
I got an AppleTV 2 for my wife. It is even simpler than the 1 and smaller, lighter and fool proof to
Click images for desktop size: "Sarah Walks" by Marvel Comics install and run. More than it just works, it is just there.
The AppleTV is fun. The interface has enough things to do that you always feel you're onto some secret discoveries. With the addition of the, to me worthless, MLB and NBA channels and the potent addition of Netflix it really has become a full on entertainment center.
Netflix needs a digression. With it's new commitment to streaming only Netflix has become the first preview of all our entertainment in the cloud. The selection is pretty much like what you'd find in a popular video store just before closing on a Saturday night. It's all old movies and stuff you'd normally avoid. To me that's okay. I like that stuff.
If you want something more current there is, just two clicks away, the iTunes store with pricier rentals.
With the inclusion of podcasts, your own video libraries and music libraries you can fill up months of time and with a $99 MSRP what could any one complain about?
One caveat: The sound on the music is not as deep or full as the sound from most iPod docks. Most receivers have some sort of Compressed Music sound enhancement. Apple has long eschewed that. It can be adjusted with some receiver based EQ but why?
The WDTV is not as much fun. In recent firmware upgrades it has added Flingo and Mediafly as a source of online media. It also has Facebook integration, although I've never gotten that to work so I can't comment. Facebook is not something I care about anyway.
Where the WDTV beats the AppleTV is all tech stuff. It will output 1080p as opposed to the 720p limitation put on by Apple. The WDTV will play anything. I've yet to find something it couldn't play, including camera mts files. AppleTV 2 will play only mp4's with H264 or X264 video encoding. It will finally handle High Profile encoding and CABAC encoded files but that is it.
The WDTV plays MKV files flawlessly and does a good job of steaming DTS sound. For me the DTS soundtrack is more important than the 1080p playback.
The WDTV also handles attached drives, so if you save your movies and music on an external drive it is nothing to attach the drives to your WDTV and have instant access to 2 TB of media. (And the WDTV is the only media player out there that can access any format on the drive - most demand the archaic Windows solutions for morons - a few European ones will allow Linus formats but that's about it.)
Apple still demands that you can only access movies stored on your computer and within iTunes. This keeps things simple but it is seriously limiting. (Even if its financial and designed to slow down piracy or reassure Apple's content providers it is a cheat to the consumer.)
The WDTV plays music well but it does not play the whacky Apple Lossless codec, while it handles FLAC just fine. Conversely the AppleTV plays Apple Lossless just fine but just ignores FLAC. FLAC is
Click images for desktop size: "Virtual Girl" by Unknown by far the superior codec.
I have 110 gigs of music so I actually like iTunes integration for various mundane and personal reasons. Hence I don't use the WDTV for music listening, preferring to use my receiver's iPod dock.
I like that I have access to my WDTV and my wife's AppleTV 2. If I had to choose I would have no problem saying goodbye to the AppleTV. The WDTV tries to be user friendly but it isn't. Still it makes more important things available to me. That no one else can easily access these things doesn't bother me much.
The AppleTV is fun and easy to use like an expert with nil effort. I could live with it easily if there was nothing else available.

I miss comments. I like hearing from people. Spam is still an ugly problem but in the near future I'm going to open them up again. Movable Type has improved their security again and I have hopes that it will sort the mess out. I still have over 300 malicious (spammer, hacker) hits an hour.

Posted by David at 10:44 AM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Skulls" by Unknown I've been re-reading Ray Bradbury's "Fahrenheit 451". I may have to "revaluate Bradbury. I always remembered him as a high school type writer. The kind of guy who appealed to nerdy pimply kids and their lost host fantasies.
"451" is a lot deeper than I recalled from when I read it in high school.
There's a longish speech from the Fire Captain, who represents, pretty much, the mores of the future society, that pretty neatly encapsulates the present state of the United States. The captain lays out and nearly justifies the epic rantings of the tea party ilk. He praises stupidity as the great leveler, as the ultimate path to total equality.
That seems to be where the Republicans are leading us, to a world of the mediocre, where the rich make the rules and force us to see the exceptional as dangerous and malformed.
I remember a conversation I had with a teammate back in college after, what to us was, a devastating loss. In football a loss produces a strange mixture of feelings. You're physically depleted from the game, nerves are twitching, muscle fibers are screaming for nourishment and craving adrenaline and there's nothing.
Self recrimination sets in for some; what could I have done? Most get flooded with those buried traumatic memories, those glimpses of the past we'd buried, the casual cruelties our loved ones inflicted on us without thinking.
Some, the less well balanced would blame someone else. And a select few just didn't care but had enough sense to keep quiet about it.
So, that was the mood that I was in slumped on the bench in front of my locker when the guy next to me, still in pads and jersey starting talking to me. He talked about life. He talked about success and succeeding. And he said the one thing I'll never forget. I can still see him, his brown hair spiked from helmet hair and sweat, his dirty face streaked with tears and sweat, three pimples on his chin, "If you want to win you have to be like them. You can't stand out; be too smart or too pretty you have to kiss ass and be like them."
I probably said something back like, "Yer nuts," and went back to the shelter of my own misery.
I thought he was nuts and succumbing to fatigue toxins but now/ Look, I've got nothing, except a
Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Reginald Birch loving wife, a great dog and a fistful of gadgets. Last I heard he was rich with property and kids. Maybe he was right and the wolves have been driven to ground by the lambs. Being fat and drug addled is future and the path to power.
I think the main reason I trivialized Bradbury's book was that he got away from the point; he got obsessed with his McGuffin and ended up seeing the symbol as the reality. Books aren't important it's ideas and communication that important. It's the ability to dream dreams that aren't dolloped out to us by those who've decided they are our betters and must know what's best for us.
Bradbury got lost in his symbol, and the symbol is actually pretty trivial compared to what it represents in particular. Francois Truffaut made a banal and bizarre movie out of the book. It fails for too many reasons but the biggest failure is that it latches hardest onto Bradbury's tunnel vision, and that tunnel vision is that books are somehow the most important conveyor of ideas.
One of the most terrifying concepts I could ever dream of is the conclusion of book and movie. What a terrible fate and how more horrifying that this horrifying fate is presented as somehow heroic, or uplifting. Truffaut would try and convince us that foregoing humanity to become literally become a Victorian novel is somehow an image of hope instead of the grim ugly doom of mankind.
People walking in bright shining snowflakes not talking, not conversing, not sharing but instead reciting the thin useless things that they have become is a nightmare. Why we're supposed to view this as bright hope of a revolution won will forever escape me.
And while I can appreciate the focus of the book on a single middle class working family it beggars the issue of the governing class, the rulers, the TV program directors. While Bradbury acknowledges that no armed force was needed to stop people from reading (thinking) he sidesteps the issue of who led mankind, or at least Americans to this step.
Like, I went to Buffalo a couple weeks ago. Fist time I've flown since the TSA became.
When I was in Europe I used to think that the Brits were incredible wimps. They thrived on that perverse Chandlerian logic, "A drunk driver hits a child and kills the child ergo we ban cars." It's a cowardly and stupid thought process and I felt a twinge of pride that Americans were that craven.
I was wrong. Some twerp of a wannabe terrorist puts some explosives on his shoes AND IT DOES NOT WORK but now the rest of America is forced to take their shoes off for special inspection.
A bigger moron boards a plane with explosives in his underwear AND IT DOES NOT WORK so now the entire country has to have their genitals fondled by government employees, and they're not
Click images for desktop size: "7th Street" by Mike Campeau fondling for our benefit or even their own.
(By the way, seeing my wife was great and even in a seedy motel we enjoyed ourselves and for 3 days were able to forget that such a world exists.)
While waiting in line to be fondled I speculated as to whether this was a government plot a Bush doctrine supported by Obama to reduce us to the serf level that they want but it seems to be not so deep. We are already serfs. This indignity is foisted on us so that the elite, the CEO's who earn more than their entire workforce combined, can feel safe and not have to clutter their purified minds with needless worry about what we might do.
So the terrorist won. The revolution is over and we, the people, lost.
That's part of what is missing from Bradbury's book. The allusions are all there but there's never a peek into the present he's depicted, never a hint as to who maintains and designs this dead formed life. Obviously people who's comfort is more important to them than yours.
It's a shame the Bradbury avoids the confrontation. It's one of the several gaps in populism in his books. In fact Preston Sturges evinces more humanism in one scene (In "Christmas in July" when a lower level manager stands up to the owner of the company and says in simplistic but direct terms, "You should care. These are your employees, your family. Everything that happens to them happens to you. To not be concerned is inhuman!" Being a movie the owner takes this harsh criticism.)
So while it was pretty unfair of me to trivialize Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451 as adolescent pap it falls far short of being literature. But it's good enough that this shortcoming saddens instead or angers me.

Posted by David at 1:26 AM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Children's Poems" by Maxfield Parrish Life has evolved into wake up, shit, shower, shampoo, shave and feed the dog. And I am not unhappy.
Lot of that has to do with things like, next weekend I'm going to upstate New York. Going to have a weekend with my wife.
That is already nice just thinking about it so I have normal expectations.
The bad part is I have to fly in. It already feels worse than entering Russia. I mean, it is true: the terrorists won. The lying and the cowardice of the USA have done more damage to the American way of life than the despicable jihadists who flew the planes into buildings and killed my friend.
Who'd have thought it. Bin Laden has been on his rampage longer than Dillinger and we can't catch him because we're weak sissies who join Tea Parties instead of being proud and brave.
Some moron, one moron, sticks some explosive in his underwear so now all America has to be fondled by guys who struggled to finish high school and couldn't score well enough on the SAT to get into Community College.
In the rest of the world everyone always knew I was an American and in a good way. I was laconic, got things done, walked proudly like I owned the planet but still cared enough to be polite and courteous. As opposed to the kind of Americans we've become: Loud, bellicose scared little bullies, too weak to care about anything except our own own corn syrup filled butts.
Despite that I'm going to have a great weekend. I'll comply with the TSA's perverted regulations so I can get to see someone I care about.

The Republicans are still trying to foment a civil war. They're disgusting. There's that Jackass from the south who laughed at the pin head who asked, "Who's job is it to shoot Obama?" Instead of
Click images for desktop size: "Summer Girl" by TitusBoy having the pin head arrested and cavity searched he laughed and agreed with him. And I blame Obama for not having the Republican arrested and charged with sedition and then executed for treason.
It used to be that the Republicans and the Democrats actually respected each other and respected the office. He may be a jerk but he is still the President and demands the respect we must give to him and his office.
James Watt, Raygun's Secretary of Interior, was fired for making a public racist joke. Now that racism is applauded in terms of taking our country back. Back to about 1920 with 7 day work weeks and children working in sweat shops for 16 hours a day.
Why isn't Obama standing up to the Koch Brothers and Roger Ailes? Why does he let them have the country and simper in the White House. I voted for him. I wish I'd voted for Clinton. She'd never have stood for the sort of abuse the Republicans are handing out to my country.
Obama has disappointed me.
Why hasn't he called out the National Guard to protect the demonstrators in Wisconsin. The police are standing with the demonstrators. The people are with them. Against them are the Republicans, corrupt Supreme Court Justices who have violated their terms of office and billionaires who think they deserve even more money.
Why isn't he in the lines with the people.
Instead of protecting the RAIA why isn't Obama protecting the people. I thought he believed more in people then he did in corporations. Apparently not.
Why hasn't he challenged Rush Limbaugh's drug addled corpulent self to a One on One match to demand he stop insulting Michelle Obama and his children? Why does Limbaugh get to lie and say he's an American when all he does is try and destroy this great country. Limbaugh is in the pay of the Emirate and the Corporations. He needs to be brought into the light.
When the revolution comes I thought it would be led by the people but instead it's apparent it will be led by billionaires against the people.
It's just me. I've never trusted anybody who remotely believes in The Rapture. How can you trust anyone who wants everybody except a couple of their friends and a few of the family dead.
I don't want anybody dead. The Dead leave vacuums. Even Saddam Hussein dying left a vacuum. I'm pretty certain he didn't see himself as evil, but the vacuum he created means some innocent child will have to grow into it. The same way that the collapse of the USSR meant that America had to reinvent itself as Stalinist Russia.

First time I ever heard of the Dorktones was when someone sent me a cover they'd done of one of my songs. It was pretty good. But better than that was the cover the Dorktones did of Balloon Farm's "A Question of Temperature".
I found out the band comes from Rotterdam! Rotterdam, for those who don't know Rotterdam is like a rougher tougher version of Amsterdam but without the tourists.
I like the Netherlands. It's a wild, crazy cool country as afflicted with issues and blight as any place is but the Dutch just seem to handle it better.
They have a tradition of working hard and playing harder, of respecting each other and not being too concerned with what you might be doing. If I could make a living there it would be my second favorite place to live.
And if there are bands as good as the Dorktones it would be a wise choice.
If you visit their website you can download most of their stuff. You can get their latest "Pop Go The Dorktones" here.
It's worth the trouble. This isn't their best. That would probably be "The Sound of Music" but it's very good. Percussive guitar, good harmonies and all covers of great songs, and the song is always the thing, I think.

Posted by David at 2:57 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Kabegami The SuperBowl's over.
It was a fitting conclusion to one of the sloppiest, worst seasons in NFL history. The game, with all it's dropped passes unforced turnovers and inept officiating was the perfect microcosm of this NFL season that saw a 7-9 team actually advance in the play offs.
The only good thing out of the SuperBowl is the emergence of Clay Matthews as a bonafide superstar! He's earned it.
It was a rough year for me in football. No coaching and Reggie Bush and his family cast an ugly cloud over USC's season. Made worse by Cam Newton doing similar but getting a totally clean pass from the NCAA.
The best thing about the NFL is that there's always next year. Well, maybe not for the NFL. In an age when athletes are under the same spot light as TV actors few are presenting themselves in the right light for a protracted labor fight. The NFL owners are pretty much super rich scum who could care less about the game and most about a bottom line and projected growth. It's a business. You have to live with that.
It still makes me sad.

With everything going on in the world, most of it disgraceful, at least on the American side (Republicans should be ashamed) one thing that's been ignored is that Obama has installed another RIAA lawyer in a key position in the Justice Department. As even other lawyers consider the RIAA lawyers as bottom feeders this is disturbing and startling.
No appeal takedowns of websites are happening all over the world. Internet censorship with no due process. With the proposed Internet Identiy cards it presents too viable a reality to the insane government take over proposed by the Homeland Security Tea Party types.
In a time when various artists, including Francis Coppolla, are coming out and questioning the right of artist's to become mega rich just for telling stories and singing songs Obama's trenchant and vile plans for our future on the internet seem callous and cruel.
The nice thing is that there are still bands out there, probably with dreams of being mega rich as well but happily churning out some great music.
One band I'm totally fascinated with is The Lolas. It's hard to find out about them. Their website is on Angel Fire and hasn't been updated since 2006!
All I can figure out is that they're from Alabama, a trio and . . . yeah, that's it. I hope they're still in business. They make light but thick jarring sound. It takes some getting used to but when it does click in the memory is that this is an important band. Important in the sense that when they're songs come round the rotation the world seems a better place for 3 minutes or so.
I fisrt heard the band on the "Right To Chews: Bubblegum Classics Revisited" album. That disc is so great the Lolas really didn't break through there.
This is the link to "Ballerina Breakout" on Mediafire. It's a sensational disk. All killer and no filler. Sixteen tracks that all rate 4 stars and better.
The odd Christmas track, "Little Drummer Boy" delights as much as it perplexes. The cover of the Kink's "Till The End Of The Day" shows they've got chops.
The rest of the tracks are exuberant pop-ish numbers filled with hooks, great 3 part harmonies and grinding jamgling guitars. Ignore it at your peril and relate that this disc has nothing in common with the RIAA brand of music and that's a good thing.
This album and the other 4 I know of are all available as MP3 downloads through various music services. The discs are near impossible to find so if yu come across one snatch it up. You'll be nothing but happier for it.

Posted by David at 3:52 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Hammett 1945 Cover" by Gerald Gregg One thing, personal about the SuperBowl is that I always end up hearing from some of my former players, my kids.
As the big game approaches it's a time for the mind to wander back to their own playing days. I was a part of it and probably the only person who wouldn't be offended or embarrassed for their mawkish commiserations. Some people think it funny or disturbing for a 6' 5" 320 pound man to get misty remembering paying fields and friendships forged in combat, especially when they aren't the most articulate guys going and they express themselves in rough cliches and clumsily structured greeting card style sentiment. I don't and only partially because I'm not that far removed from the same state of mind.
I think I was lucky being raised in California, in a place and a time when surfing and guitars ruled our young consciousness. Racism and xenophobia weren't accepted or even acknowledged. It was more important how much air you could get on a reentry and the spray of a lip smack.
Competitive sports existed for us almost a just a way to assert our natural superiority over the rest of mankind. That sounds as xenophobic as a Sarah Palin fund raiser but it isn't. To join up you can believe and be anything, all you have to be is crazy enough to grab a board and try.
The beaches led us to the playing fields. Back then, and today, coaches couldn't really understand or cope with the surfer mentality. Some learned to adapt because the surfers swam 4 to 6 hours a day. We were the fittest athletes in school. And in strength and agility the only ones who could compare were a few world class gymnasts. They had to adapt or watch potential championships drift back to the beaches.
So we loitered on the sun drenched playing fields. We ran and drilled and found the rest of the world acknowledging us as something more than they had just the day before. And we excelled and won
Click images for desktop size: "Horror Wallpaper" by Unknown and our friendships grew deeper and our understanding of others increased and we stayed in a place that matured but was always young and sunny.
And that was always the heart of my coaching. Not militaristic jingoism and slogans, not tin despotic win at all cost idiocy but remember the fun, the friendships and the sun.
Coaching in Europe in the cold and the wind and the rain was different. Not just the weather but the attitude. They only know the game via the NFL and TV. Sports other than soccer are pretty much ridiculed and viewed as sissified American projects.
The NFL presence in Europe didn't help much. The coaches they sent over were the dregs of the NFL. Even then the profession yielded a few guys willing to teach but just a few.
The NFL is for profit so I can't blame them for not caring about sportsmanship or raising young people up to respect themselves and others. They hired people who knew how to get the kids to buy product, jerseys, sweat shirts etc. That was their job.
Even though my kids threw up an astonishing 105-7 record the NFL never cared. They never filtered anything our way. They never helped. My kids were from the wrong side of town for the most part. So my kids never knew what they were missing. We traded helmets when the D went on the field and kept having fun while the rest of the world ignored us.
Well, not the rest of the world. We played American high school teams, won a couple too even though we usually got thrashed. We played European champions and did okay too and my kids learned to meet different people and to discover that we weren't that different from each other after all.
I love my kids and they never failed to make me proud of them. They never quit on themselves or each other and they never forgot that the most important part was the fun.

So as to the Superbowl . . . I really don't have a favorite. The Steelers have Troy Polamanu, one of my favorite former Trojans. But the Packers have Clay Matthews, the Trojan walk on. I wish the
Click images for desktop size: "In The Deep" by Unknown media would make a bigger deal about the fact that Clay wasn't a 5 star recruit. He enrolled at USC and then went to an open try out to try and make the team.
But the Packers also have Aaron Rogers, the last Cal QB to actually beat USC, took him double overtime to do it, but he did it.
I don't much like the Steelers at all after Troy although I expected them to be much heavier favorites even with a cruddy O-line. So I guess I'm picking the Packers . . . even though I wanted it to be Bears-New England . . .

My wife is still suffering from the loss of her mother. Too be expected. Its times like this that a long distance marriage is really stupid. We're still waiting for the DHS to schedule the appointment for the interviews to get her a green card. Since Obama has proven to be a bad joke as a president and kept most of the Bush people in charge I'm pretty pessimistic about the interviews and any attempt at fairness. It will work though, I'm sure of that.

Posted by David at 3:16 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Deep Sea Hunting" by Photoneu I saw a picture of my puppy. I was slightly stunned to see how mature, elegant and regal she looked.
When I look at her I still see her as a little puppy, the little girl who played "Alligator: with me, where she'd hide under the bed and try and pull me into her "swamp".
The serious little girl who stayed with me in the hospital growling at the nurses when they came in and constantly looking up and checking on me. The puppy who went to therapy dog school and played tricks on me but still tried her hardest to please me. And the young lady who won a second level discipline obedience class while never having attended any obedience classes.
I look at her and I see all those puppies and dogs and they shrink down into one who waits for me.
She's my dog. We belong to each other.
I miss my other two dogs plenty. The gentle dog misses me too. The giant dog . . . who knows what thoughts go through his brain.

I set my alarm clock to wake me with radio, then I set the station to a top 40 pop station. Nothing gets me out of bed faster than turning off a top 40 tune blaring from a cheap radio.
A few days ago I was startled to hear a Jason Mraz tune. I'm not a fan, but I'd been working on a tune for the past few weeks. I'm always working on a tune the past few weeks, at least in my head. This one I was stumbling around with the lyrics, trying to clarify and enunciate some feelings. The harder I worked on it the more obscure things became, until I heard this Jason Mraz track, "Lucky".
The chorus pretty well summed up everything I was struggling to say in verse after verse: "We feel lucky to be in love with our best friend".
And that was it. That was all I was trying to say.
I'm never too sure how I feel about having my lofty emotions perfectly encapsulated in a pop song . . . but there you go.

Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Solamo Lopez I guess the lesson is to always say things as simply as possible and to avoid the glitter and too much deep thought. Hey, maybe Jason Mraz is a genius! I still work off the standard that anyone who can do something that I can't must be a genius. I still got ego.

I have been hearing some interesting music lately. I guess everyone is psyched by the Jack White/Wand Jackson collaboration. Watching the numerous videos is a two edged sword. Seeing Wanda, my adolescent throbbing need, be real 50 years later is too much for me to comprehend or accept. ut that's offset by Jack White. He's pulled together one of the best rock bands I've ever heard and with him DANCIN' around the stage in his cat clothes and playing band leader is as thrilling as being at the birth of rock itself.
The record's not bad either.
The other band is strange. they took their name from a Sonics' cut and even cover a Sonic's tune. And somehow they've become a country band??
I first heard "Boss Hoss" when someone sent me a demo of them covering the Rolling Stones' "Mother's Little Helper". I thought they were strange but great. I just assumed they were another garage revival band with enough talent and attitude to take things to their own level.
Their latest album is "Low Voltage" and its insane. The band looks like a 21st century Tex-Mex Salsa outfit. Too many guys in cowboy hats. The album is filled with brass, strings and fiddles, bass saxaphones and harmonicas and, of course, guitars filled with truck driver 8 part harmoney and it sounds about as country as the White Stripes meet the Beat Farmers. A distinctive and welcome sound.

That's it. Still working. Still suffering. Still trying to get my wife into this country (legally). And looking to survive the newer ages.

Posted by David at 5:28 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Dreaming Sighs" by Unknown My mother-in-law was cremated at 1:00 PM on Friday.
I couldn't be there. Canada.
My wife is as devastated as you'd expect. She'll survive. She's tough enough for that even when she doesn't believe she is.

Now I hate being an adult and being mature. Things like this make me regret it. I want to go back to those days of complicated decisions like whether or not I should iron my underwear.
It doesn't seem right that from life to the grave should take just a week.
Not fair at all. Just unvarying and inevitable. It's the pragmatic, existentialist attitude I have that takes affront at all this. It's the way it is and the way it has always been and people never expect it or learn from it or anticipate the sadness and madness we all carry within us. It sickens me that selfishness overwhelms compassion for many of us. But that is unvarying and inevitable too.
Ibsen said something like, "The majority is always wrong." Steve McQueen liked to quote it. We are the majority.
But we're also the white knights and the only hope each other has.
If we weren't that there'd be nothing left but despair.
My top ten flics for 2010 list is only 3 movies long.

1) Kick-Ass - This is a movie that slips past the mindlessness on first viewing. It starts out a simpleminded teen comedy thing but then erupts into something I've never seen before. It's a smart movie, with a hip sound track. It also includes one great performance and one great character. In one word "Hitgirl".
There's a scene in the movie that actually gets me misty eyed. Shocker. It's where the bad guys are beating Kick-Ass and Nick Cage to death on a web cast. All seems lost until an 11 year old girl's
Click images for desktop size: "Grand Ages of Rome" by Unknownlove for her father draws her into the heel bent world he created for her and leaves as her only legacy. She comes and systematically and believably kills off the bad guys with knife and gun. Cage has been set on fire but even while burning alive he yells out commands to Hitgirl, commands she understands even though Cage's voice is a shriek of pain, love and concern.
It's an unbelievable scene that they nearly but not quite ruin with the bathetic conclusion.

2) I Saw The Devil - I've already written about this devastating Korean serial killer movie.

3) Ong Bak 3 - Must see even though it fails as often as it succeeds. Tony Jaa will never, it appears, exceed his brilliant "Tom Yum Gum", but here he attempts so much more.

Posted by David at 7:19 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Design 1" by Media Milan Been thinking a lot about form and content. Even had a conversation with my wife yesterday about the decline of the Technicolor monopoly and how this impacted indy filmmaking while resulting in less lush images.

CMy Christmas was great. My wife came down and spent 3 weeks with us and she brought Gentle Dog and Giant Dog.
Gentle Dog was ecstatic to see me and had a wonderful time. Giant Dog had his old problem of being dominant mainly due to size and having to adapt to not being alpha anymore. He likes being boss but he gets himself into trouble that way. He's happier being just one of the pack, a special one. He has to work his head around all that stuff using instinct instead of logic and its hard for him. He still had fun.
My wife and I had fun even though I got ill from just a cold. Then, she was planning to visit friends but she got sick, sicker than me! But that didn't diminish anything.
I got my roomba back. Even now I sit in the midst of clean. And I got some sweatshirts. One I like and two I don't.
My wife got a pedicure (she'd never had one before!!), a TomTom GPS and some personal things for her birthday. Grado headphones, a Kandle for her Kindle, and purple suede fleece lined slippers for Christmas.
The dogs got stuff, Lots and lots of stuff. Lots!
They all gave kisses and allowed themselves to be petted!
For Christmas Eve we went to a fondue restaurant. Now, I'm used to fondue meaning you had to dip forks of bread into cheese or, for really fancy hippie dinners, strawberries into hot melted chocolate. Those were on the menu but it was much more than that and it was interesting and exciting!
It helped as well that it was Christmas Eve. They took our picture and presented it to us gratis and let us take an ornament from their Christmas tree. A memorable evening for sure.

Click images for desktop size: "Solitude" by TitusBoy
Unfortunately when my wife braved a blizzard and finally got her and the two dogs back home she fell even iller, culminating with the devastating news of her mother having a heart attack.
This wasn't like my heart attack where I was running around calling people and complaining, this was serious.
They had to induce a coma as they "lost" her for 15 minutes and they have little idea of the extent of any possible brain damage.
The only good thing about this is that it is in Canada so there's no additional devastation caused by rip off insurance companies and greedy profiteering doctors and hospitals like we endure in America.
It now appears they give her only five days to live.

Posted by David at 2:33 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Shaggy Door Knob" by S4W I had a vivid dream Friday night. I was moving into a new home, just my puppy and I. We were invited to a wedding. I decided to go since we'd score free food and since they'd had the good sense to invite a dog one could tell these were quality people.
When we got to the wedding I discovered that the family consisted of all my ex-girlfriends! Hundreds of them. I forgot I'd been so . . . prolific (?) They all looked exactly as they did when I was dating them, all except the bride who was a stranger to me, a rather horsey blonde with fat arms. She knew me and my puppy though and kept introducing me to her sisters, all who were ex-girlfriends.
Everyone was glad to see me. And there were hundreds of sisters. They all spoke with me and asked me questions without offering advice. Everyone was interested in what I was saying.
My puppy ran through the enormous building stopping to get petted by a lucky few. She always stayed pretty close.
There was music. The bands were all bands I used to be in or were favorites that I'd been on the same bill with.
A woman I didn't know, who was my actual current wife, tried to help me find my old Mesa Boogie .45 calibre amp. I had to explain to her that it was just a combo amp and not one of the big suckers we kept looking through. She found it right after that. She was very proud of herself. We decided to stay in the storage room with my puppy and just talk.
It felt ideal and wonderful. No wonder I kept the dream close to me and tried to not let the feelings escape.

Click images for desktop size: "Sleeping" by Unknown
My wife is driving to see me. She'll be here for 3 weeks. This is ideal.
She doesn't want to drive. I try and understand that. I like traveling and I used to like driving. No matter how long the drive I seldom got tired or bored with the trip, but she's not like that.
Sitting and waiting is harsh.
I took a week off. No vacation pay, the bastards, doesn't much matter to me. I know I need the money but having to work two of the weeks my wife is visiting seems far worse than being broke.
Giant dog and gentle dog are coming with her. We even have plans for them! Christmas is going to be memorable.

But what always continues is football. I've been sadly missing coaching every day. I still never have anything much impinge on my delight in the game. Last week I was 13-3, which still keeps me in long shot contention for a big prize for the season! This weeks games are much more interesting which means I'll probably knock myself out of contention . . .

My picks are in bold.

San Francisco at San Diego - And I actually picked the 49ers to make it to the playoffs . . .

Cleveland at Cincinnati - The Bengals woes cannot continue!! And the Browns are not that good. Cruddy game of the week contender.

Washington at Dallas - The Redskins are benching McNabb??

Houston at Tennessee - Long shot of the week. The Texans are falling apart. The Titans have already fallen. They have too much talent to not start to rebuild.

Jacksonville at Indianapolis - The Jaguars already thumped the Colts so its time for Manning to get angry and show some pride.

Kansas City at St Louis - The knock against the Chiefs is uninspiring Charlie Weiss running an O without Matt Cassell. The Rams might win this one.

Buffalo at Miami - What is a cruddy game of the week contender becomes interesting. The Dolphins are road warriors and the Bills have mastered the come back defeat.

Click images for desktop size: "Christmas Night" by WallCell
Detroit at Tampa Bay - The Lions can't win on the road.

Arizona at Carolina - Cruddy Game of the Week! The only amusement here is watching Jimmy Clausen pretend to be an NFL QB. Football at it's most pathetic.

New Orleans at Baltimore - Game of the week! Taking the Saints as they seem to be ready for a playoff run while the Ravens are sputtering. Still a ball hawking D and Gunslinger Brees spells excitement and close games to me!

Philadelphia at New York Giants - I hate the Eagles and I hate the Giants style of football. Eli Manning is throwing in the towel.

Atlanta at Seattle - Possibly the lop sided game of the day. Seahawks home field advantage is the second biggest in the league and can't be forgotten.

New York Jets at Pittsburgh - My upset of the week. The Steelers peaked way to soon. Rothlisberger has been tough but vulnerable. The Jets must win. Sanchez can respond. He should have spent one more year in college ball.

Denver at Oakland - I hope they let Tebow play. It would be hysterical.

Chicago at Minnesota - Another game that must have looked killer at the start of the season, now, no Brett Favre. At least it will be outside!

Green Bay at New England - The Patriots have evolved into their usual dominance while the Packers have been cleanly exposed. The only hope for the Pack is that the Pats are unfamiliar with their back up QB.

Merry Christmas and the best of the holidays!

Posted by David at 12:28 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Seasons Greetings 2010" by Ankhammentu After too long I've finally seen a good movie, in fact it might be the best film I've seen in 2010.
"I Saw the Devil" directed by Ji-woon Kim. He's the guy who made the stunning "A Bittersweet Life" and the Asian mega-hit, "The Good, The Bad and the Weird".
Byung-hun Lee, from "A Bittersweet Life" and GI Joe, plays a Korean secret agent. On a snowy night his fiancee calls him. Her car has broken down and she waits for a tow truck. Lee, even though on assignment, finds a place to sing her a love song, to keep her company while she waits.
While Lee sings a good samaritan knocks on his fiancee's car's window. He offers to help. Lee tells her to stay in the car and not to trust the stranger. The stranger is played by Min-sik Choi, the brilliant actor best known from "Old Boy".
Lee tells his fiancee to send him away and to just sit and wait for the tow truck. Very politely and sweetly she thanks Choi and tells him she'd prefer to wait. He seems to go away. Moments after she hangs up the phone Choi attacks her car with a hammer breaking out the windows and then dragging her into his van. In his van he bashes her skull with the hammer but he waits to kill her back in his dingy dungeon where he rapes and decapitates her. Choi brushes the gore down the basement drain.
The next day a child finds a plastic bag with the fiancee's ear in it. The fiancee was the daughter of the local cops Chief of Detectives. This engenders a full on search. With much angst and fanfare they discover her head in the shallows of a river. Clearly it was thrown from a bridge. Implicitly this brings up the old Buddhist sutra, "I would be a bridge of stone for 500 years for the chance of her crossing me."
Kim takes two weeks off from work, supposedly to recover from his grief but, and this is true of
Click images for desktop size: "John Lennon" by Unknown much of the film - not much is stated outright except the ignorant claims of the police and the killers - the rest of the time we're nudged into believing we know what is going on in others minds, everyone knows he is going after the serial killer.
Even though we know who the killer is we watch Kim try and locate him. The first suspect he tortures brutally and so thoroughly that the scum confesses two murders he did commit to the police!
The hunt continues and it is sickly fascinating. Until Kim finally tracks down Choi in the middle of another rape and murder.
Kim rescues the girl but stops to smash and beat Choi. When he has beaten him near senseless he whispers to CHoi, "That which is coming will be even more terrible. Then Kim breaks Choi's arm. He also shoves a GPS capsule into his mouth so he can track him.
What follows is the disintegration of Kim. The atrocities he heaps up on Choi are transfixing and brutal. Kim, ultra cool and suave and Choi filthy and perverted, we find ourselves willing for Kim to simply kill Choi.
Then, unexpectedly, Choi proves his monstrous character has a brain and enough heart to hate and to want revenge.
From here on the movie stays taut, frightening and disheartening. It's not until the blistering conclusion, a conclusion that could scarcely be improved but still falls inches short, that we see humanity resurrect itself in these two monsters. The humanity it shows is as terribly sad as the depths of its depravity were hateful.
A movie to seek out. the direction and the acting could not be improved. It's a modern movie that avoids nothing and permits no mere coincidence to mar the terror it inflicts on our souls as it struggles to force us, the viewers, to admit or frail humanity.

The law that should have shut down my job went in to effect, but it only worked for 2 days.
I was disappointed. While one judge in a different district found the law shutting them down to be solid and enforceable another judge swallowed the argument that 1 line in the law was too vague and in its vagueness violated the 1st amendment!!
So it's business as usual. I got two days off though and that's a good thing . . . without pay of course. Money buys everything.

My wife is coming next week along with gentle dog and Giant dog.
We're excited.
I sent out my Christmas cards. If you didn't get one it's because I don't have your address, so it really is all your fault.

Now that the college season is over the NFL gets that more important. Last week I was 12-4, which
Click images for desktop size: "Skye Steele as Red Santa" is pretty blah for this part of the season. I want to win a prize! Even a 20 buck certificate for beer and hot dogs would be okay1 So long as I get a prize! My wife made some picks . . .
My picks are in bold.

Indianapolis at Tennessee - I figured the Colts were slightly less messed up than the Titans.

Cleveland at Buffalo - Cruddy game of the week and also my Mini-Upset of the week. To me the Bills have looked more impressive when they're losing than the Browns have while they're losing . . .

Tampa Bay at Washington - Common sense says to take the Bucs. Sometimes I wish I could tell my common sense to shut up because I really think the Redskins should win!

Atlanta at Carolina - I really wish I could track down anyone willing to pick the putrid Panthers. They probably think Jimmy Clausen is a great QB . . .

Oakland at Jacksonville - At the start of the season no one could have picked this as a game of the week contender. But it is. I'm taking the Jaguars because of Jack Del Rio and that they're at home.

Green Bay at Detroit - The Packers will win but I expect the Lions to make this a lot more interesting than it should be.

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh - This game is on TV here. I won't watch it. I have to pick the Steelers but I want to see the Bengals and Carson and Ochocinco tear it up!

St Louis at New Orleans - Its time for the Saints to start tearing opponents apart, at least if they want to get to the Super Bowl again.

Seattle at San Francisco - I never figured the SeaHawks would be as good as 6-6 but I sure figured the 49er's would be league killers! Now I'm picking them becasue the SeaHawks have not been too good on the road.

Miami at New York Jets - After the Jets getting beat down last week by the Patriots I'd hate to be their opponent this week.

Denver at Arizona - Cruddiest Game of the Week!

Click images for desktop size: "Star Leaves" by Fabio Toscani
Kansas City at San Diego - After the dismal showing last week the Chargers will not improve much but the Chiefs don't have Matt Cassel so . . . .
New England at Chicago - Game of the Week! The Bears have been shocking and the Patriots are riddled enough on D to make this one really really interesting!

New York Giants at Minnesota - When the big stories are the snow storm and whether Favre's streak ends tomorrow you know not to expect much from the game.

Baltimore at Houston - The Ravens need a win and the Texans are playing for next years paycheck.

Philadelphia 28 at Dallas 27 - The Over Hype Bowl. This game will be dire.

Posted by David at 3:51 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Houston Interfirst Plaza" I was examining my body in the mirror. Inspecting my scars. Not the scars that needed stitches or emotional scars, but the marks the ravages have laid on me.
First one I notice is the droop in my left eye, the remnants of the Bells Palsy attack in El Paso. Then there's the arm that is still weak and stiff from the frozen shoulder.
And on and on. For some reason I can look at all this detritus and the final impression is that I'm still a pretty good looking guy . . . Yeah. Kidding myself or facing reality. Who can tell?
I did wonder if the frozen shoulder, a by product of diabetes, was aided by me spending one summer as a baseball pitcher.
Throwing a baseball is fun. The manager of the team asked me to pitch because I routinely threw the ball in the mid 80's making the play from short to first. I had a world of fun that season but it's an unnatural strain to place on an aging shoulder. I don't know if it caused or worsened the problem. I'll have to ask.
Now I've got the same problem in my left wrist. I'm right handed and use my left wrist about as much as a right handed person would, so I have no empirical self experience proof.
Now, I got asked to pitch because I not only throw the ball relatively hard but I have pin point accuracy, at least if by pin point you mean within a 12" square . . . I shot my arm throwing a tennis ball for the old dog. We were at a dog park and about 200 feet away I watched a dog. It's always been my standard to idly aim at something when I throw the ball for a dog so I aimed at this dog and whipped it. I felt something unravel in my elbow and a big brief hurt. I forgot the pain when I saw the tennis ball plonk the strange dog right on top of its head!
I was terribly embarrassed and worried. Clearly the dog was fine as he immediately went and chased the ball, at least as soon as he assured himself the sky wasn't falling. But I felt bad about nearly hurting him. I felt bad then and I still do. Not as bad as the time I was a teen and I hit a
Click images for desktop size: "Xmas" by WallCell squirrel jumping across one of the roads up in Griffith Park. I had a car load of buddies with me and they were aggravated that I stopped and went back to see if the squirrel could be saved. I still stopped and looked. The poor thing was dead. I still feel bad about that too.

Last week I was pretty hacked off that Homeland Security has blocked 80 internet sites. Supposedly this was due to the fact that these sites allegedly offered up "pirated" material. Who knows if they did? They're blocked so no one can check, at least no one in the USA. No take down notice, no chance to appeal. They just took them down claiming that these sites stole American "intellectual property".
Now, the first thing I notice is that none of the sites were accused of spamming; browser hijacks; loading trojans or viruses, just the dubious charge "intellectual property theft".
I think its noteworthy that Obama's government doesn't give a damn about sites that cause serious harm to individuals, they're only concerned about protecting the rights of the MPAA and the RIAA. The rich win against the poor. Didn't I vote for him to try and slow that attitude down?
Now add to that the fact that Obama has blatantly lied about his vision of Net Neutrality and I get really irked. The plan put forward by the FCC basically gives the Telco Giants everything they want and nothing that the people need. It's an odious plan worthy of John Boehner and John McCain. Obama pledged an open and free internet. He lied and is now involved in taking away another American freedom, hell, almost a world freedom.
So, you will soon no longer be able to get to this site. Instead you internet provider will take you where he wants you to go. I'm sure I'll be offered a chance to pay them a thousand or so a month to allow people access but otherwise it will be the same restricted nonsense we now get to enjoy on Fox and CNN and the networks.
And again Obama proves he is too weak to lead by offering to "compromise" which means giving in to the sick plan of the Republicans who don't care about us, they only care about the rich.
This Republican cry that taxing anything above $250K is going to hurt small business is, to quote John Bohner and his opinion of the middle class and the poor, "chicken crap". Any small business that is showing a profit of $250K NET is not a small business.
Doesn't matter. Obama is going to give them what they want and screw the people over. He won't get on TV and say that the Republicans have said, "Screw the middle class! We refuse to give them tax relief!" Instead he'll just compromise, which in his mind means giving them everything they want so they won't pick on him, maybe they won't.
Obama has become like that little kid in the schoolyard who'll never fight back. You can go defend
Click images for desktop size: "Christmas" by Unknown him but he'll be back in the same jam tomorrow and there's no chance for him to survive, except to transfer schools or give up the job.

This is the crunch week in the NFL. The time to clinch a play off spot and to secure your momentum and spirit for the long slog. Week 131
In the On Line NF picking game my wife and I are tied at 111 correct picks each. This just proves that she has been cheating and clearly has been just plain copying my carefully thought out picks and choices. Of course I am too big a man to point this out to anyone. I will just suffer the indignity in respectable silence!

My picks are in bold.

Houston at Philadelphia - As much as I despise Michael Vick no one can deny his pure talent.

New Orleans at Cincinnati - Poor Carson Palmer. At the start of the year this was a game I was anticipating!

Chicago at Detroit - I guess the Bears are for real.

San Francisco at Green Bay - The 49ers and the Bengals are fighting it out to be the disappointment of the season.

Jacksonville at Tennessee - The smart money is picking the Titans' Chris Johnson to continue his habit of just gashing the Jaguars. I think they are too banged up to ride a steady diet of Johnson runs and slashes. Of course, this could be the week the Titans remeber they picked up Randy Moss . . .

Denver at Kansas City - I'm so pleased that Matt Cassel is keeping the grand tradition of USC QB's alive . . .

Cleveland at Miami - An unpredictable game that still doesn't offer much in the way of entertainment value.

Buffalo at Minnesota - Cruddy game of the week contender, spared that because of the talent on both teams. Still, a lousy game.

Washington at New York Giants - The NFC East my Aunt Trudy! Who cares game of the week.

Oakland at San Diego - The Raiders have improved tons but they run into the hottest team in the
Click images for desktop size: "Christmas Night Lights" by Unknown league right now. An upset would be sweet though.

Carolina at Seattle - Pete Carroll has done a decent job with the SeaHawks. Maybe he'll dump Jeremy Bates as his OC and get real successful next season. The Panthers just stink.

St Louis at Arizona - Sam Bradford doesn't keep this from being the cruddy game of the week. The NFC West should be barred from the playoffs this year.

Dallas at Indianapolis - The Under Achievers bowl1 The Colts are stinking it up a little less than the Cowboys.

Atlanta at Tampa Bay - Must win for the Falcons as they fight for home field advantage in the play offs.

Pittsburgh at Baltimore - Game of the Day! The blood will flow and the bruises will blossom. This game can be all you want in football.

New York Jets at New England - Game of the Week! The Jets won the first one and it was a fine fine win. The Patriots don't forget those things easily. Also the two cutest QB's in the league and both talented. Brady battle tested and proven, Sanchez growing with every play. Can't wait for this one.

Posted by David at 1:05 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Space Travel" by Virgil Finlay Thanksgiving was pretty much a non-event. I had to work from Midnight till 8 AM that morning then had to be back at work at 10:30 that evening. Not much holiday for me.
I had dinner. I got some frozen TV Turkey dinners. Between involuntary naps I watched the football, watched "Broadway Danny Rose" (for the Thanksgiving dinner) and listened to "Alice's Restaurant" the big song about Thanksgiving.
My puppy and I watched and listened and ate our "frozen turkeys", and all was well.
Except of course I still have the worst job I've ever had in my life. That I've had it a year and a half speaks more to the economy than to my sense of duty or endurance.
The job ends Tuesday. Yay!
A Superior Court Judge found for my employer. He agrees that the law violates the First Amendment!! But only in spirit, not in intent. He did not give an injunction to stop the law going into effect, he refined the law to not violate the First Amendment but to still take the addictive circumspect edges of my employer's product. The product is gambling but it really isn't, it's just a wonderful virtual sort of gambling that is as addictive as the real thing. Talk to any of my less than well educated customers and you'll easily discover that the illusion is so well done that they refuse to believe they are not gambling, despite signs, forms they have to sign and verbal admonitions that they are not gambling, they still think they are.
It ends Tuesday. The owners think they won but have at least enough sense to realize that without the gambling illusion and the possible prohibition of 24 hour business days they're not sitting on the clandestine gold mine they were.
Me. I could care less. I'm more pleased to be out of work. It scares me but it does not alarm me as much as this job continuing.
I've never been anyplace for so long where I made no friends and met no one to provide some
Click images for desktop size: "Joan Crawford" pleasant memories of the place no matter how bad the situation or environment was.

I've managed to stop the spam on this web site. The was I did it was to change the permissions on the script that activated comments. The spammers never visited the site. They used a script to execute my script and post their spam quickly and more efficiently.
By disabling the script I'm get massive error messages from the server, but nothing serious. I'm hoping that shortly the error messages will fade out and that the spammers will just go away. When that happens, or at least slows, I can then reactivate the script and permit comments. I hope so. I miss them.


But for the NFL my weekends would be , well, just fine actually but I love football so lets get into it.
I was 3-0 for the Thanksgiving Day games. So was my wife. I taught her well. Except for the cheating. She taught herself that!
Through today we are both at 103 correct picks for the season.
My picks are in bold.

Green Bay at Atlanta - Game of the Day. And the most meaningful game of the weekend. The Falcons are studly at home so I'm picking the Packers in my upset of the week! They have more pressure on them to need this game.

Pittsburgh at Buffalo - The Steelers season is in danger. They won't let up on the Bills.

Click images for desktop size: "Dream Days" by M Parrish
Philadelphia at Chicago - The bruisingest game of the day! The Eagles match up to well with the Bears. This could be a blow out.

Carolina at Cleveland - Cruddy game of the week.

Jacksonville at New York Giants - I'd pick the Jaguars at a neutral site but have to take the Giants at home. Still I have expect Jack Del Rio and the Jags to stomp the Giants.

Minnesota at Washington - I can't ignore the stat that interim coaches win 66% of their first games. But the Vikings are so busted up and the Redskins are still in playoff contention. It's hard to not take the Redskins.

Tampa Bay at Baltimore - The Ravens are still a tight shot for the Super Bowl. Tampa Bay is just moving in the right direction. Should be a good game.

Tennessee at Houston - The Titans are a mess. They're grateful the Vikings fired their head coach to take some of the media attention off of their screwed up situation. I don't think much of the
Click images for desktop size: "Where the Wild Roses Grow" by TitusBoy Texans but they should be able to take advantage of the situation.

Kansas City at Seattle - My second upset pick. The SeaHawks look strong at home and the Chiefs are just a team moving in the right direction. They could win but they'll have to play better football to do it.

Miami at Oakland - The Dolphins are still too busted up to put together a game while the Raiders are working hard.

St Louis at Denver - Sam Bradford has made the Rams legitimate but Mile High Stadium is the biggest home field advantage in sports. I don't think the rams have improved enough to win a shoot out here.

San Francisco at Arizona - The 49ers season has crumbled to dust. The Cardinals destroyed themselves. So two teams, one with shattered hopes and pride, the other full of egos and arrogance. Eh.

San Diego 34 at Indianapolis 30 - Picking against the Colts in a nationally broadcast game when they're at home is silly but the Chargers look stronger and are healthier. I'll probably regret picking them.

Posted by David at 2:25 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by William Wagner Yesterday my puppy and I went to get her picture taken with Santa Claus. We both had an uproarious time. Dozens of dogs and dozens of free cookies!
It was the sort of madness that restores sanity. I talked to a few people and talked to all of the dogs. My puppy was hands down the prettiest. Gilda, the sparkly red basset hound ballerina was the most stylish. An irish setter wore a striped Christmas sweater and the little 3 year old girl escorting him wore a matching outfit.
There was only one cat. That would have been a good thing except this one was so fat it should have counted as 3!
It felt hopeful and it felt like the holidays.
The best news is that we finally got a receipt number from Homeland Security for my wife's immigration application. The receipt number is important for all the other stuff to proceed. Like, with the receipt number I could impose on a senator to show an interest in the matter and maybe get this thing sped up a little bit.
No matter what I feel about the entire process it has to be done.
And my job . . . The law is still in place for my job to cease to be in 8 days! The owners last gasp hope rests in a lawsuit. They've used whatever influence high priced law firms have to get the matter heard before a judge they think will be friendly to their point of view, meaning, they expect him to grant an injunction letting them stay in business.
I'm of two minds about this. I want a job. I need a paycheck but these places have no sane or reasonable reason to exist. You can make more of an argument for how bad they are than any posit that they need to exist (except for greedy owners.)
So I'm up and down about the whole thing and just want it to end so we can move along one way or the other.

This is one of the cruddiest most bizarre seasons ever in the NFL. The lack of consistency from any
Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Jim Steranko team and the on the fly rule changes make it hard to follow and impossible to predict. I was just watching the CBS pre game show and was surprised to discover that I've had more correct picks than any of the coaches and players on the panel!! For that matter so does my wife!!

My picks are in bold.

Chicago at Miami - The Dolphins are too depleted to stage any sort of threat to the Bears.

Buffalo at Cincinnati - The Bengals season just leaves me feeling sad. The Bills finally won one but you have to figure the Bengals have some pride left.

Detroit at Dallas - Cruddy game of the week. The Lions need a healthy Matt Stafford to compete. The Cowboys won big and look incredibly boring doing it.

Oakland at Pittsburgh - The Raiders on't have the talent to expose the Steelers weaknesses but I still think this will be a closer game than most figure.

Houston at the New York Jets - The Jets are one of the few teams playing to their potential. All games are must win for them as they're fighting to be Superbowl contenders. They have the tools to shut down the Texans.


Click images for desktop size: "Gene Kelly & Cyd Charisse" Baltimore at Carolina - The Panthers are starting an 8 year vet who's played in 5 games in those 8 years . . . Destruction and mayhem are in the cards.

Cleveland at Jacksonville - The Jaguars are playing good football. The Browns only beat elite teams.

Washington at Tennessee - The Titans Chris Johnson must be dreaming of setting records today.

Arizona at Kansas City - The Cardinals are the classic example of a coach thinking he's more important than a team.

Green Bay at Minnesota - My upset of the week. Brett Favre is near the end of the string. He'll want to remember this game.


Click images for desktop size: "The Beggar" by Unknown Atlanta at St Louis - Many are picking the Rams at home. Not crazy at all but Matt Ryan and the Falcons have risen to every challenge thus far.

Seattle at New Orleans - The only way the Saints lose is if the Reggie Bush-Pete Carroll connection overwhelms the sense of team.

Tampa Bay at San Francisco - This is a game of the week contender! Go figure.

Indianapolis at New England - Game of the week but only because of the history of Brady vs Manning, Billichek vs the Colts etc.

Denver at San Diego - Kyle Orton is playing better than Jay Cutler and the rest of the Broncos like to sit back and watch him . . . Same for the Chargers and Phil Rivers.

New York Giants 24 at Philadelphia 28 - I hate the Eagles but they are fast and the Giants are not.

Posted by David at 1:26 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Cool Cat" by Roads Media I saw a murder of crows attacking a hawk.

I had the heart catheter. It was sort of nothing and sort of painful.
The hospital is new, modern and designed for assembly line medicine. I was given a cubicle, bigger than a prison cell but smaller than a monk's cell. The cubicle was too brightly lit. There was a bed, a wall mounted computer and enough space for a thin nurse to enter data.
It started with the nurse setting my IV. She couldn't raise a vein and stuck the needle into my wrist. She hit a nerve. It was thumping leg kicking burning pain. Felt like my arm was on fire. Amazingly I never moved my arm or the wrist so she left it in there. It hurt for 6 hours. Still hurts even now. The doc's claim it will heal.
I took the "procedure" without "something to relax me. It hurt like hell but it was endurable. I got to see the fluoroscope of the camera poking around in my heart. It switched and twitched around looking like a fishing line caught in a current. It bobbed around so much I idly wondered if these guys knew what they were doing.
I was in there for about 4 hours. If not for the screaming pain in the IV I'd have been bored.
the doc came in while they were wheeling me out; "I don't get to say this too often but your heart looks fine." He came to the recovery cubicle and amplified his comments: The stent in my heart was clear, there's no plaque in any of the veins or arteries. Everything looks fine and clear.
After that it 's just a matter of protecting the femoral artery, avoiding hemorrhages I stayed off my feet for 4 days, just sort of stumbling outside with my puppy when she needed it. My puppy was, as usual, great and understanding. She watched over me, never got demanding, Never left my side.
I went back to work after the 4 days. Had to. Cruddy job doesn't pay for sick days, or holidays or
Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Robert E McGinnis vacations. Go Tea Party Republicans . . . I'm back to walking the 3.2 miles to work. It's fine.
The law that shuts down my job is still going forward. There's a lot of rumors about it being rescinded injuncted etc but they seem to be just rumors and dreams. The owners see it as positive reinforcement of their wish fulfillment. Of course my fellow workers (who, for the most part, are as scummy as the rest of the operation) and I are at a loss to plot our future in a bad economy. We're adrift. Adrift for the holidays.
Can't find a job and hate this job.

I've been listening to a lot of music. Most of it pretty poor.
About the worst one is the new Linkin Park album, "A Thousand Suns". I mean, who new that Linkin Park's main goal was to become Styx?
I didn't know the Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers had broken up until I heard a pretty poor Surf record from the Heartbreakers. I don't blame anyone for making a bad Surf record: Many are called but few can shred. But this new album "Mojo" is really off. I mean it's a bad blues album?!? It's not execrable but there's nothing on the disc to brighten your day.
Neil Young did an album with Daniel Lanois. I still think of Lanois as the black guy with the cotton white mohawk in Wendy O William's Plasmatics. That's not a knock, that's praise. But Le Noise is all about the gimmick not the music. It's this tripped out grungy acoustic guitar with lots of studio effects. Now Neil Young solo would be interesting, this is mainly grating. So grating it's a hard call as to whether any of the songs are any good or not.
The best of the new stuff seems to come from Weezer except their album is named "Hurley" and features the fat guy from "Lost on the cover. I have no idea why and find myself unable to care. But the songs are okay. Not great but okay and nowadays that seems to count for too much.

Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Agata Nowicka There's one bright spot though. Over 25 years ago the Osaka Ramones changed their names and became Shonen Knife. To commemorate they released 2 albums, "Fun Fun Fun" and "Free Time". The albums are interchangeable and, while not essential they can only be listened to with fondness. The musicianship has improved but Shonen Knife still sing songs with power about their fave foods and the gentle beauty they ignored just some shirt time ago. these gals are what music is supposed to be about.

I've been remiss on posting my NFl picks. You can tell what a crazy season its been as I'm only 69 out of 81! My wife has been trying her totally bogus guessing/cheating system and its come back to bite her as she's a laggardly 73 of 81. Please don't laugh at her, she's not in it to win just to have some fun.

My picks are in bold.

Tampa Bay at Atlanta - Right now the Falcons are probably the best team in the NFC. The Buc's have played better football this season and benefited from the last place schedule. This might be a good
Click images for desktop size: "Audrey Hepburn" game!

Chicago at Buffalo - Cruddy game of the week.

New England at Cleveland - How do the Patriots keep winning?

New York Jets at Detroit - The Lions are playing well at home but the Jets will come in with a huge chip on their shoulders and have the talent to dominate the upstarts.

New Orleans at Carolina - Dru Brees only plays with a bright fire but he'll have blood in his eyes and forestall a let down after their stunning thrashing of the Steelers. The Panthers will wear blue.

Miami at Baltimore - The Dolphins have been playing like a playoff team but the Ravens are playing like a Superbowl team.

San Diego at Houston - The Chargers are counting on a second half surge. They have nothing on the roster to base this dependency on.

Arizona at Minnesota - Brad Childress is destroying the Vikings! The Cardinals just suck. Cruddy
Click images for desktop size: "Without You" by TitusBoy game of the week contender. How crippled will Brett Favre be in this one?

New York Giants at Seattle - My upset of the week. The Giants are not that good and the SeaHawks are playing at home.

Indianapolis at Philadelphia - I hate the Eagles but they've never lost a game after a bye week and the Colts are decimated.

Kansas City at Oakland - Who would have thought that these two teams would be the game of the week! Taking the Raiders because they're at home.

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati - I look at the Bengals and I want to cry. They should be a contender but they stink. So much talent and nothing delivered.

Dallas 10 at Green Bay 14 - Back in August this looked like a for sure game of the week. Now it's a "please get this over with" match up.

Posted by David at 3:02 AM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Old Paint" by Anonymous I don't have much belief in hell. Mainly because I believe in humanity and, as we all know, nothing can create as much suffering or pain as humans.
Probably the greatest display of evil in the view of the world was the Nazi German attempted genocide of the Jews and the gypsies. The evil that followed it are the products only humans could devise. To sometimes devise to deny that the atrocity even occured and then to minimize it even further they compare anyone to its massiveness so that through time and or ability to forget it seems not so serious at all. And that's the ultimate in evil to make it banal and trivial.
It always seem that bad is always greater than good.
An evil company kills 30,000 in India is not offset by a woman saving hundreds. An oil company destroying an ocean is not offset by a man saving a pack of wolves.
Evil always seems to be victorious, and even in its ultimate failure it leaves the world a crippled worse place than before.
Philip K Dick wrote a book, called "The Devine Invasion". It's about the second coming of the Messiah. The real conceit is that the Messiah was born in outer space as God had been banished from earth. All the churches and governments were formed at the behest of the Devil and earth is hell. It's not a book to recommend but its that idea that earth works hardest to destroy good and cloacks itself in brutality and fear and hatred.

I'm going into hospital tomorrow. No big deal, really. I'm not happy about it.
Last week they gave me an EKG and an echogram - sonar imaging of the heart. Then added it to a stress test: 30 minutes on a treadmill at 4.5 mph and a 40 degree incline. Had to get my heart rate
Click images for desktop size: "The Pilgramage" by HP Pepnix up to 131 bpm. Lots harder than I'd have thought. I was exhausted after the run. Disgusted with myself at being so thrashed when I'd only run slightly over 2.5 miles.
It took 3 minutes for my pulse rate to come down, 5 minutes for my blood pressure to get back to normal and they let me go at 6 minutes even though my respiration hadn't climbed completely down. Decent but not great recovery. I walked home from the clinic and showed no other ill effect.
the echo gram and all the rest didn't show anything wrong but they know there has to be something wrong hence tomorrow I get a heart catheterization.

Posted by David at 11:23 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Pin Up" by Unknown It's been a dead dull if sweaty week. Too much heat. Numbs the mind makes life seem like a distant thing.
Only bright spot is that I finally got my wife's immigration application filed. I worry about that. The way the Republicans and the racist Teabaggers are determined to destroy America, (Why did the Koch brothers and Rupert Murdoch decide to swipe the name of a pretty sleazy sex act for their creation? Was it some very nasty joke played by some rich nasty jerks on some stupid nasty morons?) I fret over the idea of her coming here. If racism and hatred are going to rule and turn us to a 3rd world banana republic she'd be better off staying where she is.
Still looking for a new job. It's discouraging but necessary. My paycheck for 20 hours late this week. It's one thing to be chattel and quite another to be treated as chattel.
I got my flu shot.
And now I wait.
At least there's football.

The first two weeks of the NFL season have been horrid. It is some of the worst football I've ever seen in my life. Sloppy routes, lazy QB reads, runners missing holes and defenders ignoring their gaps. Clearly the first team needed a lot more reps!
The NFL plan to take two practice games and turn them into real games is just going to cheat the fans and reduce the quality of the game
Still I was 12-4 in my picks last week. My wife made her picks two. She game in that she refuses to
Click images for desktop size: "Outsiders" by Marvel Comics concede her total and irrevocable defeat!

My picks are in bold.

San Francisco at Kansas City - Who'd have figured the 49ers would be 0-2 and the Chiefs would be 2-0. Matt Cassell has shown that USC back ups are more talented than most starters. His leadership for the previous hapless Chiefs is credible. The 49ers are against the wall. This week they should play the football they're capable of.

Detroit at Minnesota - Nearly the cruddy game of the week. Favre should be catching up enough now to beat the shell shocked Lions.

Buffalo at New England - I liked that Tom Brady owed up to his poor play leading to the Patriots loss to the Jets. Bad news for the Bills, he'll prove it won't happen again.

Atlanta at New Orleans - Game of the week. Matt Ryan and Tony Gonzalez against Dru Brees. Oh yeah!

Tennessee at New York Giants - The Giants are heavy favorites which amazes me. They've played horrid football no matter what their level of talent. The Titans looked terrible last week but you have to figure they're going to rebound. They match up well against the Giants too.

Cleveland at Baltimore - The Ravens should destroy a team that looks like its already upset about not getting the number 1 pick last year.

Dallas at Houston - I think the Texans are a badly coached team but I also think the Cowboys are poorly coached and have the most over rated talent in the league. The Texans are rolling and can overcome a desperate Cowboys team who will quit in the face of adversity.

Pittsburgh at Tampa Bay - Forget all my negative feelings about the Steelers - Troy Polamonu has that D playing inspired crippling clean football. The Buccaneers are beside themselves that they're 2-0. Today is reality check day.

Cincinnati at Carolina - The Panthers are starting Jimmy Clausen . . .

Philadelphia at Jacksonville - The Eagles are heavy favorites. The claim is that Michael Vick is playing the best football in the league. I dispute that slightly. He is a great player but a miserable excuse for a human being. He has not made repartitions as he promised. Meanwhile Jack Del Rio has a decent team in the Jaguars and a lot to prove.


Click images for desktop size: "Opposed Fates" by snyp Washington at St Louis - Cruddy game of the week contender. McNabb looks like a steal for the redskins who are still a horribly coached team but the Rams are just hapless except for Steve Jackson who can win a game single handedly even now, just not today.

Indianapolis at Denver - A real head scratcher here. The Colts have looked lackadaisical except for Manning. The Broncos have to recover from a suicide of a 22 year old WR. Hard to read the impact there. This is a real coin toss of a game for reasons, that sadly have little to do with football.

Oakland at Arizona - Cruddy game of the week. When a head coach figures he's more important than the players you can't expect much better than a .500 season. The Cardinal won't make anywhere near that record. The Raiders still stink but less than in past years.

San Diego at Seattle - The Chargers are heavy favorites. But Seattle is a miserable road trip and the Chargers are really missing Tomlinson's leadership skills. This just feels like a time for an upset.

Green Bay at Chicago - This should be a good game unless the Packers start running away with it. The Bears have demolished themselves in the past two years and no reason to think they've ended that spiral.

New York Jets 17 at Miami 13 - Tie Breaker Game. The Jets pulled it together and demolished the more talented Patriots last week. They'll keep playing gritty hard edged games. I like them.

Posted by David at 2:22 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Nude" by Unknown A few months ago there was a murder homicide at the cardiac clinic where I have to go. The clinic is about 2 blocks from where I live. It's on one of the busiest streets in town, a ridiculously large 6 lane street that meanders from downtown to nowhere.
This fellow had just broken up with a receptionist at the clinic. He walked in and shot her twice in the chest and then he walked out.
About 4 hours later they found the killer. He'd parked his car along the other busy street the served the clinic and he was hunkering down in the bushes. Why it took 4 hours to find him when he was about 200 yards from the clinic parked on a street, half nosed into a ditch and impeding traffic, traffic that logically should have contained a few cops, I can't really figure out.
About 6 cars surrounded the guy, blocking the street. They exchanged some fire and then the killer shot himself in the head. None of the 50 shots the sheriff and cops had fired seem to have hit anything except the bushes the killer was hiding in. It's pretty easy to see why he gave up.
Funny thing is, this small town is always in the top ten of the best places to live in the USA. Imagine that. It's been number one a few times.

Interesting week at work.
The owner of the "internet cafe" is a revolting man, in appearance, actions words and probably thought. He's about 5' 7", and about 320 pounds. He breathes heavily walking about 20 feet.
His hair, and skin are greasy, as if they were oozing golden butter. He has one of those scraggly beards that 18 year old hipsters wore in the 80's. Over all the impression he gives off is cartoonish. This is reinforced by the ever present Blue tooth earpiece and the constant flourishing of his
Click images for desktop size: "Moan in Blue" by J3 Concepts Blackberry. He has to flourish it as it never seems to ring.
But looking at him and the straining pants and shirt buttons he doesn't remind me so much of a beach ball but of a grease spot on an asphalt road.
He's not particularly bright, clearly he's undereducated but he stumbled onto something and like all people he feels his genius has rewarded him with all this money because he deserves it.
Maybe one day he'll learn but not today. He says his bank account is short $60,000 and that means we stole it from him. When I asked how he knew his bank account was short I was rebuffed. Clearly he figures I couldn't understand the delicacies of a bank reconciliation, or else he didn't know what he was talking about.
They said that I was short $1,000. I thought that was stupidity/ Examining the figures it seems the made a mistake. No body apologized for calling me a thief.
Maybe in his mind he thought he did. He basically called me an idiot because I contended that Linux was more secure than Windows. He claimed to know hackers who routinely hacked linux systems. It was so easy I guess he was implying he did it all the time too.
Even after showing him the huge gap in his logic that disproved I was short $1,000 he was still adamant that his bank account was still short 60K. I could see no way that we could short his bank account but I lack his mathematical acumen and about 150 of his
Click images for desktop size: "Garland & Astaire" pounds.
The end result of his genius is that he's fired everyone except me and his manager. That he trusts the manager is a testimony to his genius and the fact that I'm labor and would never rat out a co-worker. In fact when they asked for me to defend myself I could think of nothing to defend so I defended my co-workers pointing out what was wrong with the job and how they'd held steady and firm. That probably wasn't brilliant of me but I was pretty angry at his assaults on everyone.
So, there's two out of 7 left. Stupid. It might be a house cleaning. I can see that little brain working that out. I'm hard to replace only because I work the midnight shift and am, however stupid, not terrified of the drug dealers, the hookers and pimps. I survive.
the manager will survive because she threw everyone under the bus. Including me. She kept screaming that I told her that about the middle of September they'd be accusing us of robbing them blind. I said it because it was obvious and to give her and everyone a gentle push to stop stealing
Click images for desktop size: "Just a Dream" by TitusBoy from the till. Instead of taking my warning to be cool for what it was she tried to interpret it as some semiotic placement that I knew that all this money shortage would show up now.
It's stupid. The job is cruddy and still the 2nd worst job I've ever had. It's not worth fighting for. I would have given notice but these type of people don't understand honor, probity and integrity. How can they when they evince none of their own. I figure they'd go, "AH HAH! He stole the non-existent money and now he's running away!" These kind of people think like that because they can't imagine anyone being different or having different motivations than themselves.
I'm looking for another job. I'm stressed because even a bad job is better than no job, but not unduly stressed.

Last week my football picks led me to a 9-7 record. My biggest failing was underestimating the Patriots and thinking the Colts could win forever.
But at least I beat my wife. She, poor thing, had a terrible 10-6 record for the week. She also failed on the survivor game. I think this week was her best chance at winning and since she couldn't it will be a long season for her.

My picks are in bold.

Miami at Minnesota - My survivor pick. For the Vikings, Favre has had another week of practice and Adrien Petersen has had an extra 3 days of rest. The Viking D looks poised and ready. The Dolphins offense was pathetic last week, and look like they have no answers.

Arizona at Atlanta - Arizona looked as horrid as you'd figure last week while the Falcons played a solid game against an inspired Steelers defense. The Steelers got lucky and the Falcons got disgusted. Just disgusted enough to take it out on the Cardinals.

Baltimore at Cincinnati - Game of the week. After getting manhandled by the Patriots a lot of people are writing off the Bengals. The Ravens are a heavy road favorite. I can't see it. The Ravens are already old and banged up, the Bengals are now certainly aware of what they need to do to win.

Kansas City at Cleveland - The Chiefs were a team I picked against last week. They played strong inspired football. They're not quite good enough to afford a let down and the Browns, well, the only way they'll beat anyone this season is if their opponents are looking past them.

Chicago at Dallas - The Cowboys are heavy favorites and while the Bears are not a good football
Click images for desktop size: "Night Sweats" by Unknown team the Cowboys looked like rubbish against the Redskins. They committed more bad and inept plays than I thought possible for even a decent high school teams. The Bears still need some wide receivers. Cruddy game of the week.

Philadelphia at Detroit - The Eagles look like a game team and that's about it. Michael Vick starting for them makes me want them to lose. The Lions lost Matt Stafford, their starting QB. WIthout him it looks like a long day.

Buffalo at Green Bay - This should be my Survivor pick this week, but you only get to pick a team once for the season and I figure I'll need the Packers later on. The Bills will show up and think its warmer in Wisconsin than in New York.

Pittsburgh at Tennessee - The Steelers got real lucky last week. The luck can't last forever. The Titans Vince Young was very very classy in the Reggie Bush debacle when he had no reason to be so. The Titans still have a solid team and could pound the Steelers and would do it in a classy way.

Tampa Bay at Carolina - Cruddy game of the year potential here. Who'll win? Who cares? Taking the home team.

Seattle at Denver - Pete Carroll pulled of a small miracle last week, thrashing the trendy 49ers! He's going to be interesting to watch all season. The Broncos find it hard to lose at home.

St Louis at Oakland - If you're wondering how Chicago -Dallas beats out these two games for cruddy honors this week its because these 4 teams are expected to be bad. Anything positive absolutely glows in relation to the cruddy level of play. Still doesn't mean I'd watch or care about them.

Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Nathan Fox
New England at New York Jets - I don't think Mark Sanchez is as bad a QB as he was last week, nor do I think the Jets are as cruddy a team as they appeared. You have to wonder if the Patriots are as good as they looked! I'm thinking they are. This game is game of the week stuff. These two teams sincerely dislike each other. It will be great!

Jacksonville at San Diego - The Chargers are heavy favorites. Hard to figure why. They looked pretty dismal getting hammered last week while the Jaguars looked strong and gutsy. Picking the home team as they do seem loaded with talent but I'm tempted to take the Jaguars.

Houston at Washington - The Texans finally managed to beat the Colts. As the Redskins looked as poor as the Cowboys they did get the win, but they'll need to play much better and more consistent ball to beat these guys. Donavan McNabb still has the juice but his line is going to wither under the Texan pass rush. The Redskins only hope is the Texan coach is no genius.

New Orleans at San Francisco - Dru Brees! This game will probably be a lot closer than people imagine. The 49er's have a lot to prove, but the Saints are still so "Oh baby!" they make my heart song.

New York Giants at Indianapolis - Brother vs Brother. Eh, who cares. Colts are in disarray but the Giants are too. Going with the home team.

Posted by David at 12:50 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Just So Stories" by JM Gleeson It's been a long week. Interesting but not for any really good reasons.
On Tuesday I got a call from my cardiologist. They got the EKG i had on Friday and wanted me to come in immediately. Like, right now! Since the call came at 8:30 I took it seriously. But then I told them my insurance had lapsed and that I had an appointment on Monday to see if I was eligible. (What I have isn't real insurance. It's an emergency plan for low income people with serious health issues. Budget constraints force them to keep changing the eligibility requirements so I have no idea if I'll still be good for it.)
When I told them I might not be insured the urgency deceased. Suddenly it became okay for me to wait till after next Monday. They gave me some numbers for free advice if the chest pain got too bad etc. I have to admit I found it sardonically amusing. "We don't want you to die but we got to get paid."
I then got a letter with some of my test results. My cholesterol was great, 60! My HDL's were a touch low 25 - need more olive oil. But my triglydes were insane. They went from 120 a year ago to 672!! 500 is considered dangerous. I don't know what 672 means. I called the doc and she explained that it was most likely the diabetes being out of control. In my case it might not be so much out of control as, for various reasons, important for me to get my glucose down to near hypoglycemic levels. Which was what they'd already decided on Friday when they did the tests. They doubled the insulin and altered the meds some.
My lists of acceptable foods has really fallen to nil.

But what's important is that football season is back!
Last season my wife narrowly beat me in the season tally. This was very sad. It's hard to accept the
Click images for desktop size: "Iron Gate" by Macindows fact that a woman you care about would resort to cheating. Sad, sad sad.
I explained to her that US Immigration was probably considering this extreme cheating as proof she should not be allowed to live here. Canadian woman picking NFL games better than a highly experienced coach. It is nothing but sad, and sadder to think she actually thought anyone could believe she didn't cheat!

My picks are in bold.

Minnesota at New Orleans - An easy pick. Even Brett Favre needs practice time.

Miami at Buffalo - I don't think the Bills are going to be as bad as people believe and the Dolphins have proven that they have some serious issues on offense. I'm taking the Dolphins to win in a close one. They're facing the pressure and how they respond today will set the tone for their season.

Oakland at Tennessee - My must win Survivor game. Vince Young couldn't pick a better defense to get back into the season. Young has a lot to prove. The Raiders are still a team stuck in the 1980's. They insist on playing the old Darryl Lamonica Mad Bomber style football and crafting a D to combat that. The Raiders are deep in talent and in some bad personnel choices. The Titans have Jeff Fisher and are a work in progress. Oh, and Chris Johnson is for real.

Cincinnati at New England - Game of the Week! This is the game
Click images for desktop size: "Jackson Guitars" I'm watching on the old rabbit ears TV. I'm sticking with the Bengals even though, as I write this the Patriots are up 24-0. The Bengals haven't stopped the Pat's. Kevin Faulk has stopped the Patriots! But I still feel that Carson Palmer, Chad Ochocinco, Cedric Benson, Ray Maleluga, and Larry Johnson can match up and win this. If they do it will send some ripples through the whole team.

Carolina at New York Giants - Not that bad a game but with a back up QB for the Panthers and the mish mosh the Giants have become this is the default cruddy game of the week.

Atlanta at Pittsburgh - Atlanta will put the better team on the field but the best advantage the Steelers have is banding together in accused rapist Rothlisberger's enforced absence.

Detroit at Chicago - I almost wanted to pick Detroit here. If this was a game that allowed for the spread I'd take the Lions easily. Martz is being hailed as the second coming for the offense. His style
Click images for desktop size: "Ice Flowers" by Anca Varsandan of football is a decade old and he sure didn't light anything up in his time with the 49'ers. Still the Bears have talent on D. They still need two WR's.

San Francisco at Seattle - Mike Singletary vs Pete Carroll? The 49'ers believe and Carroll is one of the all time great College coaches but Singletary, so far, is a much better NFL coach.

Green Bay at Philadelphia - The Packers are my early pick for the SuperBowl this year. The Eagles haven't dumped Michael Vick.

Arizona at St Louis - The Cardinals are starting Derek Anderson? He of the 41 passer rating last year? The Cardinals have been pretty shabby in their handling of players and fans through out their history but this is sort of jaw dropping. Against anyone but the Rams I'd be picking them to lose. the Rams are woeful and Sam Bradford does not impress me.

Baltimore at New York Jets - One of the more interesting games today. They're both sort of unknown quantities. How will the aging Raven's D hold up? Will Sanchez continue to improve? Should be some great football here. Taking the Jets for no good reason at all.

San Diego at Kansas City - Pretty boring potential here. The best thing will be wondering how stupid the Chargers front office feels about letting Drew Brees go to the Saints.

Indianapolis at Houston - You have to take the Colts but I expect this to be scary close.

Dallas 34 at Washington 26 - The most over hyped game of the weekend. I wonder if former Eagle Donavan McNabb is healthy enough to start for the Redskins. Will Tony Romo continue to lose the big ones while everyone talks about how great he is?

Posted by David at 2:59 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Unknown I didn't have much of a birthday. Slept 18 hours out of the twenty four.
Woke up on the day with a pretty frightening ripping pain in my chest. Not heart attack pain but just as intense.
Thought about going to the hospital but nixed that. Remembered my last emergency room visit: Over Five thousand for a 5 minute EKG and 15 minutes of hanging around. Made me mad at Obama and the Democrats and that weak heath care bill they passed. So I suffered
Click images for desktop size: "Delores Fuller" and I slept. The waking time spent taking care of my puppy. She was being overly solicitous so I knew the pain was serious. When I'm just uncomfortable she goes about her business (whatever that is) but when I'm in trouble she does what she can. Sadly most of what she can do is fret and worry, not a good thing for a dog brain to try and process.
So a week later the pain continues. I still do my walking to work. The exercise has no impact on the pain. Neither does work. Work makes it no better and no worse.
There are moments. Moments of light headedness and worrisome moments of extreme and sudden fatigue, so severe that I wasn't sure I can remain standing let alone walking. Deep weakness and jittery confusion that rested only on the surface.
On Friday I managed to get to the doctors. When you're going to doctors on the cuff you take what you can get. I remembered all those movies and stories where lives were always at stake and the only solution was raising some insane amount of money, like $35,000 in depression dollars, for an operation. I realized that none of these stories were ever resolved with the surgeon saying, "Hold on a minute! You mean they might die!?! Of course I'll do
Click images for desktop size: "Bridge" by Clarence Holbrook Carter the surgery for free or at least on credit!"
Many of those stories ended up with the sister dying and/or the brother going to prison for robbing a bank to try and pay the exorbitant medical costs. It's a cliche.
I spent about 6 hours at the clinics, not counting my travel time. My nook made it a lot easier. It was easy to read. Right now I'm reading Judith Freeman's "The Long Embrace: Raymond Chandler and the Woman He Loved", which is really just a detailed travelogue of LA, but a travelogue noting the constant decay of my hometown. For Freeman its going to Chandler's neighborhoods and examining the decay from the 30's until now. For me its the confirmation of the hell that LA has been enduring.
I remember when I left, or at least decided it was time to leave - in LA mind set and action are pretty much the same thing - I remember thinking my lovely, corrupt ugly home had become hell. I was standing in the Hollywood Hills and could see South LA in flames from the Rodney King Riots and then to the north west the sky was a black mass reflecting the red fires of the canyon and beach adjacent homes below it.Urban ash and rural detrius caked black and gritty on my face, the leaves and the gray sidewalk. Another beloved puppy at my side swaddled in bandages from her most recent surgery to repair the damage from shotgun pellets and the whole future of LA and my place in it seemed clear and not abundant.
Freeman's book makes it clear that my vision of the future were discomfortingly accurate.
Freeman's a novelist, not an historian or a travel book writer so some of her situations are forced and some cheesy like a bad romance writer's sniffling but for the most part it's a strong book on an obscure subject. Trying to put Chandler into perspective and giving glimpses into his difficult persona via where he lived and the woman he spent his life with are brilliant endeavors. Its an enthralling book, at least for another native Angeleno.
Of course having a good book made even more convenient via the ebook format didn't stop me from rummaging through the cabinets in the examination rooms. I still figure that if they cared about the stuff they leave in there they wouldn't leave me alone with their things for so long.
I found the usual boring stuff but also a brand new rather expensive looking scalpel. My first thought was this was sharper than an exacto knife!
I put it back where I found it instead of lifting it. Not from some petty morality but because this is a free clinic, basically, and I figured that scalpel probably cost enough to force a rise in their prices.
The end result of all the testing and nonsense is that the fluids from my experience with lyrica are still present. In fact they said I'm allergic to lyrica . . . which seems to me to be tantamount to being allergic to hemlock. The shallowness of breath and the chest pain are from a toxic buildup of
Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Cole Phillipsfluid around my heart and lungs.
That sucks.
My grandmother died from congestive heart failure at around 92. My mother did too but she was somewhere around my age. I thought she was a lot oder but as my wife brutally pointed out she might have even been younger than me.
The end result of this is I have to take a diuretic everyday; Hydrochlorothiazide. (I copied the name from the label).
Lots of side effects. The first tablet really wrenched me around. Bad nausea and it felt like an icy hand was rooting around in my chest looking for something that I wouldn't understand even if the hand found it and pulled it in to daylight.
The other drag is that my blood sugars have to get lower. They want them at hypoglycemic levels. So instead of keeping my blood sugars between 4-7 the new targets are 3-5 . . . rah! They doubled my daily amount of lantus (insulin). It will be interesting to see how this goes.
The lower blood sugars are supposed to help the fluid build up as well as but a stauncher grip on the neuropathy that's always dogging me.
Times like this I can't help but wonder why I've survived. There are a lot of people more important to the world, better people who've died. And if the lazy French existentialists are right and this is hell then there are a lot more people worse, crueler and badder than me who've been granted release.
Lucky for me I'm not very good at keeping those thought processes going to long. There's always a puppy that needs walking or petting and people who need caring for.
Since my birthday was on a Saturday I think most people forgot about it until their PDA's and smartphones sent them the reminder on Monday. I got lots of good wishes on the Monday. I liked that.
Getting my wife into the USA continues in its own plodding pace. I want the incumbents out of political office but not to replace with moronic racist tea baggers. What ever happened to good men?

Posted by David at 1:25 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Autumnal" by Christine Theiss I saw "Ong Bak 3" the latest and possibly last Tony Jaa movie.
I saw it in Thai, without subtitles. Since I've only been to Thailand twice, make that once, the other time I only went to Bangkok. Bangkok isn't Thailand any more than Tijuana and Juarez are Mexico. So I've really only been to Thailand once and that time with a native translator so there was never any need or urge to learn any Thai at all.
But I watched "Ong Bak 3" and I may not have gotten some subtle nuances but I sure followed the story, followed it well enough to gasp and holler at all the right spots too.
You might remember I was vaguely dissatisfied with Ong Bak 2. Number 3 makes it apparent why. These are not two films but one epic film. A three hour story that got chopped in half, chopped into mouth sized bits. Taken together its a film that just falls short of magnificent. They don't jell as two separate stories but as one tale of a man's transformation from prince, to slave to pirate to saint it's ambitious beyond the talent of Jaa as director. Don't mistake that I do not think that Jaa is seriously talented as a director. He made a comprehensible, enthralling story in a language that might have been gibberish for all I knew. The story he tells is big and has thwarted numerous directors and writers before him. The closest to his theme is, shockingly, Alejandro Jodowrosky's obnoxious "El Topo".
"Ong Bak" attempts much and delivers much. It's a solid noble film that is easy to believe in. It should be seen. This isn't some tired little story about a guy and girl who do something that doesn't mean a damn thing while it tries to be funny. This is a movie. It entertains and tries to lead us someplace different in our lives and tries to show us a new corner of the world our time and confusion has forced us to ignore. Its a big plan.

I;m a Jim Thompson fan. Only problem is that Thompson, due to money mostly, seldom put
Click images for desktop size: "The Black Phantom" by Syd together great books. There are great starts, great sections and sometimes great endings but it wasn't often he put together a masterpiece. His most solid book was probably "The Getaway" and his masterpiece is probably, "The Killer Inside Me".
"The Killer Inside Me" is about Lou, an affable, good looking, innocuous appearing dummy. Except Lou is nothing like the adaptive persona he's adopted. He's a sociopath, bright, cunning and evil. He's still likable and part of the books tension comes from wanting Lou to succeed in all the vicious things he does.
Lou probably would have lived out his life rejoicing in his small cruelties, concealing his insanity but a hooker moves to town. Lou discovers she's a submissive and loves to play sex scenes with his dom reality.
They concoct a scheme to escape the small town and to be able to go someplace where they can go live together and be happy. Except the girl forgets Lou is happy and he allows her to plan and works her plan into his plan of violent revenge and homicidal ecstasy.
Lou becomes a calm and calculating serial killer. He delights in watching others attempt to discover his evil. He enjoys planning around it and succeeding. He appears he deserves to keep murdering people.
Now there's a new movie based on the book. It;s really poor. The problems start with the casting. Casey Affleck is just the wrong type. It needed someone bright and buoyant. Even Ashton Krutcher
Click images for desktop size: "Lara Croft" would have been a better choice. Affleck does fine with the broody stuff but is worthless at the good ol' boy end of things. The result is a thin performance devoid of any emotional patois.
But Affleck seems like a genius compared to the befuddled performance of Jessica Alba. How can I say this - playing the little sub whore Alba generates absolutely no heat. I remember having to see a high school play of "Death of a Salesman" where the kid stuck playing Willie Loman thought the way to show weariness was to read his lines as fast and monotonously as possible. Alba is horrible. She's playing a hooker, a fetishist. She has at least 3 sex scenes and she is just nothing but dull and boring.
The rest of the cast is good but with the two leads so abysmal and wrong headed they have no
Click images for desktop size: "Love" by Unknown current to swim with or against.
The movie follows the book near exactly but it has, seemingly, no comprehension of what the book was about. They are just bits and skits. There's no emotion, no heat, no stink of the dust of West Texas. It's like a Disney version of the Kama Sutra or something. What a failure and these jerks will probably blame Jim Thompson's source material instead of their own bumbling incompetence.

I still love my nook. The Kindle is lighter, easier to hold and navigate. The nook touchscreen looks moderately cool but is a pain in the neck to work and a monstrous drain on the battery. Also the Kindle whispersync works while syncing the nook is a chore. But I love it. It lets me read.
With the Kindle 3 promised and B&N's future looking well, unpredictable, you can get nooks on ebay, brand new, for under $50!
The advantages of e-readers are pretty obvious. Still my favorite is carrying around the 3 books I'm currently reading and changing the fonts and font sizes when appropriate.
Presently the most interesting thing I'm reading is "Through a Dog's Eyes" by Jennifer Arnold.
Arnold has cred because she founded and trains service dogs for Canine Assistance. Doesn't make her a good writer though. This book is a mess but no more so than 90% of the books I read about dogs.
She tries to be thorough but it comes across like a high school student trying to compose a Doctoral thesis. But the facts are interesting and her observations are valuable enough to make the slog worthwhile. I have to agree that my training and basis for my love of dogs is her old fashioned method that has been burnished and altered by my respect and general fondness for dogs. She has valid points that I discover I'm already incorporating in my doggie relationships.

With as much love as I have for lists I'm surprised to discover I've never written up a list of my top ten fave books!

1. The Journal of Albion Moonlight by Kenneth Patchen - Sort of figures that this is one book that would not translate to an ebook reader as it uses typography to delineate some of its more astonishing images both on the page and in your head.
2. The Long Goodbye by Raymond Chandler - This was a rough call as Chandler's "Farewell My Lovely" could fit here just as well. Moose Malloy and Phillip Marlowe are two of the greatest characters in fiction in a great story. "Goodbye" is the better more ambitious book though. Terry Lennox is no slouch as a character either.
3. Hector Berlioz Autobiography - A life of music. Skillful and full of rhythms. Its a madman's descent into crushed dreams and genius.
4. The Whole Earth Catalog edited by Stewart Brand - A catalog of tools, most of them books. A lot of toys and implements to take us into the future. And there was this grotty little novel onin the corner of each page. The future it was trying to build never happened. Shame really.
5. The Complete Works of William Blake - You need the edition with plates and artwork. I even like to muddle through the prophetic poems and try and separate the poetry from the Swedenborganiasm.
6. Alice in Wonderland - By Lewis Carroll - Another book that doesn't really work on an ereader. Its still brilliant.
7. Ironweed by William Kennedy - Baseball, bums and music. A heart stopping examination of death and the thinness of life.
8. Deus Irae by Philip K Dick and Roger Zelzaney - Perhaps the bleakest view of life after the apocalypse. It has no joy except the small joys that we find when we're not prepared to let despondency rule the day.
9. Happy Birthday of Death by Gregory Corso - He used to read his poems to bongo music and thus created, single handed, a stereotype and a cliche. His stuff is solid.
10. Naked Lunch by William Burroughs - Read this first in high school. For a while the entire football team and baseball team were doing impromptu skits quoting pages of the book. Crazy and cool.

Click images for desktop size: "A Desperate Stand" by Charles Russell
For me; I've been sick. Don't understand it. Wild stabbing pains, my joints all feel sprained, lots of chest pain. Don't get it. Cardiologist on Wednesday.

Posted by David at 4:47 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Catronics" by Unknown So much time has passed and so much life has filled and so much has run out.
I don't want any of it to be lost.
Nothing earth shattering perhaps. All of it precious. The only way to try and retain it is to start from now and work back.
My wife left yesterday. It was 4 months since we last saw each other. The hellish attitudes of imaginary lines drawn in the sand. Only someone who has never travelled could not question the stupidity that are borders and immigrants. I understand about the stupidity when it benefits a few of the wealthy. For the most part borders help only a few and hurt the rest of us.
It was good her being here. It felt like my life had been in suspension. WIth her being here it seemed like life resumed. It was easy, natural and profound and permanent.
We didn't accomplish much. She brought my two dogs with me. Gentle dog bit me and continued his 4 year quest of trying to kill me.
The giant dog was a bit of a creep. He attacked, not viciously but still, a smaller dog and frightened a child. Giant dog does a lot of things that normally I find unforgivable, but he always seduces me back by being dumb and guileless.
My wife's trip was planned around getting things done. We sort of did that, just not very well. We looked at houses.
The previous favorite was a noxious looking home farmhouse looking thing that was on 2.24 acres. As falling apart and ratty as the house was all the land made it beautiful. I could see fencing off an acre for the trio and then using the final acre to build a kennel and dog runs for all the strays and lost puppies that would find their way to out welcoming door.
The second place was a tiny little thing. I'd discounted it before as thieves were stealing the aluminum siding off of houses in the neighborhood, stealing the siding while people still lived there.
Click images for desktop size: "Edge of Heaven" by TitusBoy This house already had the central conditioning unit stolen with plenty of beer cans scattered about so you'd have no doubt about the neighborhood's attractions..
The house looked cute, 10 foot ceilings, interesting floor plan but it was an unmitigated disaster created by the cynical greed only a "developer" could create in their lust. The guy bought the house for 28k and jacked up the fallen floors, ignored the termites, slapped on some paint and before he was finished put it on the market for 130k, expecting the old 1000% return on a little bit of work and investment.
Then the crash happened. When we got into the house the first thing I found was the notice from the sheriff about unpaid property taxes. Then noticed that the floor had bowed, badly. It seems the floor sagged. Instead of repairing it properly the developer just jacked up the sag. Settling in less than a year caused the floor to warp crazy house style.
The killer was the roof. A month ago the roof looked okay. Now it was warped badly too. Badly enough to need not just replacing, but rebuilding, from the struts and joists up. In other words in a year the house would need about 70k in repairs. So that some right wing bastard could realize a 500% return on his investment and stick some dreamy eyed couple with a disaster that would leave them homeless.
We did find a house though. A big house with a big yard. One acre yard. We'll know if we can get a mortgage tomorrow; August 2.

Click images for desktop size: "Jim McMahon" I saw a lawyer about bringing my wife down here from that great foreign estate up north. Borders are the stupidest thing man ever created. Property lines to create jobs and unrest. Homeland Security now handles immigration so it is, of course a total mess. But it has to be gone through. We're no longer a free country. We're held waiting for the pogrom by all the cowards and fearful whiners who want to go back to the Monroe Doctrine and rewrite history to suit their fantasy.
I'm getting redundant redundant.

My wife reads. Sometimes literature, most often cook books and more often than that gory thrillers. I worry about her feeding her insatiable appetite for books then there was a deal on woot.com for a Kindle 2 . . . . I got it. It arrived DOA. I was pretty disappointed. Then shocked that Amazon made the thing good sending me a replacement on overnight delivery! And trusting me to return the dead one! It almost made up for the 3 hours on the phone with various tech support people.
I was still pretty skeptical but the end result is that rather rapidly I fell in love with the Kindle. I remembered when things were bad it was communicating with books that kept me sane®. I
Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Unknownremember bad times when I'd pick up a book and let it take me away. The Kindle is not a replacement for books (like the iPod is replacement for a CD payer) but its an enjoyable way to read. In short order I read 4 books. One of my Destroyer series, a Johnny Bogg's western; "Northfield", Chandler's "The Big Sleep" and something I've forgotten.
Point is that it was transparent. It didn't feel like an electronic device. It felt like reading and all that reading entails. I was loathe to give it up when my wife arrived. She got stuck in it right away too reading and finishing that Dacre Stoker sequel to Dracula.
She likes it and that's what's important.
It's lighter than a book, easy to carry around (still buy all the cases like with an iPod) and it carries a library with it. Whispernet is simply cool.
Me, I'm waiting on another special to get either a Nook or a Kindle for myself. I'm leaning towards the new Kindle 3 but with lawyers and immigration fees its quite a ways off for now.

One of the reasons everything has to wait is that I've been legislated out of a job . . . Its not that bad a thing. My job is horrid and abusive in every way. I'm surrounded by gambling addicts. Personally I don't believe in making laws to protect people from themselves. The legislators used faulty data from the State Police who have just been busted for massive ethics violations to claim these places cause an increase in crime.
The voted, the governor signed the bill. December 1 I'm unemployed. Not that massive a deal. What is the creepiest is that my bosses who were NETTING upwards of 300K per week couldn't comprehend me, grossing about 72 a day didn't share their rabid hatred and concern . . . I kept pointing out that when they were making 300k a week I constantly suggested making $500 donations to youth clubs and local charities, high school sports etc not just because it was the right thing to do but because it would entrench the business in the community and give our neighbors a positive reason to see us survive and succeed.

Click images for desktop size: "A Woman" by Unknown They thought I was nuts. So when the fist came down they fought it but not in any kind of meaningful way. They got meetings with the Governor expecting her to veto the bill, not because they offered bribes or campaign contributions but because it was what they wanted.
Ah, the neaveau riche!
There final desperate ploy is filing a suit in fed court against the State claiming the law is discriminatory . . . They cling to this in there hope to keep extracting money from the poor.

Saw an immigration lawyer. It was worth the $250. We were going about it, not all wrong but with our energies misplaced. The lawyer should speed things up and save us money. He also clarified a lot of stuff that was not explicit in the instructions . . . not explicit means not even mentioned.
It seems we send in the printed forms along with proof we're eligible to be married, two passport pictures, the marriage license and the check for $355. And that's it.
Then you wait for that to be approved. When its approved - in like 90 days or so, they send you an appointment for a personal interview - not together. It was a bit shocking to discover the interview would be standing at a window or a counter. The interview would last less than 15 minutes and maybe as little as 5 minutes . . . The other shocking thing was that my wife's interview would be in Montreal, which is oh guessing 500 miles away from her in Ontario . . . And of course the $500 fee was shocking too. The additional fees. Rah.
Nobody said coming to America would be easy.
I forgot to ask where my interview would be.
After that interview, which you figure would be no problem, she'd get a two year conditional permanent residency. Only a government can make something permanent conditional.
Then that's it. You can relax and be happy.

I've had to keep comments turned off. The spam is unreal. Some one even used my email address to spam!! When I complained this is the response i got from my hosting service:
Unfortunately, that is something spammers and hackers are doing more frequently. They do not need to hack into your account to do this. They do not even need to know your password or username to do this. All they need to do is send out spam email where they change the FROM email address to your email address. There is nothing we can do to stop them from doing this. You can either raise up your Spam protection to attempt to block their evil efforts, or you can stop using your email address that they are spoofing altogether. Those are the only two options that you have to combat the spammers.
YOW!!
This is one of the reasons I've turned my back on Obama. He recently had several websites shut down. These sites linked to unauthorized places to watch TV shows. I have views about that. But
Click images for desktop size: "Drama Queen" by Hoschie now the point is that they spent thousands of man hours and millions of dollars protecting CBS, NBC, Fox and ABC etc, companies that have billions of their own dollars to pursue this sort of inanity and then these same FBI agents do nothing absolutely nothing to protect people from spammers. I guess because it's been shown that the RIAA and MPPA (the real bad guys) retain the services of several of the larger spammers for nefarious reasons they refuse to discuss.
The spammers hitting this site have figured out how to bypass the fact that I have turned comments off. I still get dozens of spam comments weekly. They don't get posted but they keep coming. What this does for the spammers I don't know. I guess they can show their client that they posted their adverts on 2 million sites even if they never appear. Incredibly annoying, harassing and unfair. The terrorists win with an able assist from our increasingly frustrating and misguided government. Far more unfair then kids watching TV shows on-line.

My puppy is a slim trim 67 pounds!! This has barely increased her already arrogant, if dignified pose.

And suddenly time has passed. We did not get the house. Partially our fault in trusting people. Partly ineptness on the part of people you're supposed to trust.
I got a nook off of craigslist for 25 bucks. The whole world is getting stoked over the kindle 3 so nooks are dwindling in value (with the announced sale of Barnes & Noble). I prefer the Kindle 2 to the nook but its okay. I can read on it and that's all that matters to me. In the brief time I've had it I read Paretsky's last VI Warshawski novel; "Hardball". It was okay and had some good scenes. Unfortunately the plot mechanisms are still creaky and woefully repetitive.
I'm almost finished with Larry Niven's sequel to "Inferno" which was his updating of Dante's Inferno. The sequel, "Escape From Hell" makes you glad Dante didn't feel compelled to write "Inferno II: The Devil Busts Loose".

Football season is starting. USC will look different/ Maybe better.
Looks like my puppy and I will need this season.

Posted by David at 5:26 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Love Memories" by Alicia De Fritas My job has been legislated away!
This has never happened to me before. Its kind of interesting in a Chinese way. (The worst Chinese curse is, "May you have an interesting life.")
I guess the biggest surprise is that this bill to wipe out about 3,000 jobs is being driven by the Democrats. For quite a while it looked like the Republicans were going to stand around and let the Dem's pass the bill and then when the spike hit unemployment rates they'd comfortably sit back and accuse the Democrats of neglecting their constituents and general bad policy. It makes sense that the Republicans would allow the country and the people to die a lingering death so long as the Republicans got what they wanted.
But that sniveling strategy got trashed when my boss, amongst others, got organized. They started to proclaim to anyone who'd listen that this was unfair and that banning "Internet Sweepstakes" would cost the state 30,000 jobs (!?!) and at least 1 billion in need tax revenue (!?!).
They also organized a poorly conceived e-mail campaign that was transparent only in that it was bought and paid for. They tried to get me involved . . . not smart, but nothing about these guys is. My stand is simple: This is a lousy job, but the only one I can find. I make about 60 bucks a day while you net about 200,000 a week. I understand your concern but you have to understand my apathy.
So they paid me to send some e-mails. I did. They paid me to help our customers to send out their boilerplate e-mails. I did that too. I never knew I was such a mercenary.
I pointed out that it would make better sense to create a form where all the customers would have to do is fill in their name and email addresses and then push a submit button. It would be easier and
Click images for desktop size: "Red Bee" by Lou Fine permit personalization. I said I'd charge them $250 to design it and it would take about 4 hours to have up and working. That was too expensive for them.
So in the face of all this "outrage" the senate passed the bill 47-1. Pretty much a slam dunk.
The one nay vote wanted them shut down but to preserve jobs and tax revenue her plan was to have the State Lottery take over operation of the "casinos".
The general consensus was that the operators were scum whose goal was to suck all the money out of the poorer communities while giving nothing back. The owners response was that if they made them legal they'd have a rack of Gambler's Anonymous pamphlets . . .
The other contention was that the jobs they offered were not jobs that benefited the state. The owners violated all the labor laws, offered no protection, benefits, lunch breaks, rest breaks or safe working conditions.
All of this is true. So the owners response was to call the senate corrupt without offering up a clue as to who would benefit from bribing the entire legislature to close them down.
Now the bill goes to the house. The owners then decided to rent buses and force all the employees to trek along. I refused to attend this one. It was a disaster. No customers attended. Oddly the media wrote it up as a massive protest while the legislators saw it for what it was. How nouveau riche are the employers that they rebelled at the idea of making campaign contributions to the legislators who, while not supporting them, balked at the idea of losing jobs in the
Click images for desktop size: "Fergie" present economy. So instead of talking to them intelligently the owners bragged about how they set those idiots right. So instead of building up allies in a fight they managed to reaffirm the incredibly negative image they seem hell bent of justifying.
Their only hope, as I see it, is that the House decides not to debate the Senate bill until after the election. Then the owners have to throw their support and considerable extra cash behind any candidate who might support their cause.
They won't do that. They are as bad as the legislators depict them. There's no misunderstanding there. These guys whole goal is to suck up every nickel the customers have period. They have no social conscious and are not bright enough to see how faking one will benefit them. They can't even figure out to be deferential and listen and rebutting instead of dictating. I've seen it before just not as so base a level.
For me I've got a job and I'm searching for another one a little bit harder. My job sucks, dealing with sore losers, drunks, drug dealers, hookers and other creatures of the night. But even a crappy job is better than looking for work.


Click images for desktop size: "Mix" by Unknown My spare time now is spent on getting my wife into this country. It's arduous and confusing. Too many forms, too many arcane racist laws. Immigration. I want her and my two other dogs with me.

I've had to keep comments switched off. It's creepy. The spammers have made 12 attempts to hijack the site in order to post comment spam? How utterly worthless. I give Movable Type props for catching the attempted exploits. I've add to remove some of the little things I like to prevent the access at all.

My puppy is losing weight! She has her little waspish waist back! She loves me and I love her. She even tolerates the tiny bit of food she receives, I just have to pet her more.

Posted by David at 11:31 AM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Total Eclipse" by Unknown When I was on the different chemo's one thing I noticed is that I never got bothered by bugs or mosquitos. Something in the chemo put something in my blood that scared the bugs away. It's the only good thing about some of the more virulent chemo's.
There's a woman who comes into where I work. She's mean. Just a bitch. As the night goes on she gets meaner and meaner. She comes in with her daughter and they manage to harmonize their meanness till you can't stand either of them.
They're short. Each of them is about 150 pounds overweight. I'm probably being kind there. They tended to the rude and hateful. Not that much different from any of the other customers but they were noticeable for being a couple and for staying 12 to 14 hours at a stretch.
She didn't come in for a couple of weeks, just the daughter. Finally I asked where her mother was. "Oh, she's getting chemo." Then she waddled away, back to playing the game.
The mother and daughter came in again, about two weeks later. The mother was wearing a wig. I couldn't tell if she'd lost weight or not. Reflexively I went to talk to her, she had the deep fear of death on her face and the gray crust of nightmares collected in the skin around her eyes and jowls.
She told me she had leukemia. It was a different kind them mine. My leukemia is the one kids get, (got leukemia 14 years old looked like 65 when she died~Jim Carroll). The mother had the kind old people get. She wasn't that old but her body showed enough abuse for it to think it was that old.
I told her about my experience and that I was still alive. Being alive is all that matters. She held my hand and cried a bit then she went back to playing the game.
They keep coming in, almost nightly. If they're not where I work they're probably at one of the other joints. I find myself being inordinately kind to her, even as much as I dislike her. I don't think about
Click images for desktop size: "The nerve" by Psychopulse why. It's probably because I hate the disease and I hate for people to be afraid, even people I hate shouldn't ever have to be afraid, certainly not that kind of fear.
Of course she senses the kindness and is taking full advantage of it, more so as she's feeling better and better.
She can't help that. The sort of people who gamble always think that kindness is just a sign of weakness. They have no courage or strength themselves so they can't see it any other way.

Today I read that Tony Jaa has entered a monastery. He's decided to become a monk.
He's, without question, the biggest star in Thailand, probably the most famous Thai in the world.
When I told my wife she said it was inevitable. I can see that. I mean the man who takes time from an interview to state that the elephants who live on his land are not pets, that they are his family, ranks close to saint hood in my eyes already. That Jaa can fight like he does, has perfected his body to such a mad extreme I guess there is no place left for him to go.
I re-watched "Ong Bak 2" and "Tom Yum Gum" recently. Ong Bak 2 is good when Jaa is moving even when the film is not totally satisfying. "Tom Yum Gum" is a masterpiece and each viewing
Click images for desktop size: "Gene Kelly" raises it in my opinion. Right now I can make arguments that its one of the 5 greatest films ever made. Because its a martial arts movie the people who care so much about their top ten lists would be appalled with the assertion.
I've railed about the movie before but it bears repeating. The first 15 minutes of a 90 minute movie is a love poem to elephants. The bad guys kill Jaa's father but it is the theft of the elephants that rings as the greatest tragedy.
The first shot we get of Jaa in action is of him flying through the air, crushing a man's chest and yammering, "Where are my elephants?!"
When Jaa goes to Sydney to search for them he tells everyone he is looking for his brothers.
Technically and stylistically the movie is a tour de force. There is one breathtaking sequence, a 10 minute single take of Jaa climbing to the top of the restaurant searching for his elephants. If it had been made by Antonionio it would have been hailed as a classic shot in cinema history. As it is it is all that and it is exhilarating, beautiful and violent. A more complicated set of logistics I can't
Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Unknown imagine.
The director makes it function but its the performance and sheer physicality of Tony Jaa that makes it work.
"Where's my elephant."
Giving a gift like that to the world makes it easy to see and comprehend Jaa's decision. Whether he'll make movies again or if he's even thinking about making movies his religion is important to him and my wife is right, he wouldn't be the dynamic person he is if he were not above all true to himself and his family.
I'll miss him.

I'm updating the film catalogs over the next couple of days. I've upgraded to the newest Movable Type too, but haven't had time/energy to rebuild the site to show it. I took a day off of work to go fight with people about my drugs and to write affidavits to bring my wife down here. And to just have time with my super slim down to 71 pounds puppy.
My little girl is so happy to have me around. She's my dog and wants to be with me. I'm her boy and love being with her. She's still on a diet though.
Now if we can sort out USA immigration and get my wife and my other two dogs down here we'll have some glimmers of happiness again.
Its a lot of work and produces a lot of tension. There's no one to talk to, no one to fight with or to beg. There's only us. I'm not small but I worry if I'm big enough still. I'm not wuitting and I haven't sold out any of my principals so it will be alright whatever we discover together.

Posted by David at 10:43 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Attack!" by Lavakillu I've had to turn off comments on the site.
I was getting about 3,000 spam comments a day. I don't have time and energy to write. Burning off some of that to deal with deleting huge globs of nonsense was exasperating and exhausting.
It appears to be coming from one BotNet coming from a furniture store in Nebraska. Blocking that just bounced around to other Windows networks mainly small retail joints in the midwest.
Love that all these Windows guys have gotten their broadband hijacked. Great OS.
My wife complained about me having comments turned off on our fifth anniversary. (Anniversary of meeting, not of marriage.) I turned comments back on for an hour or so and got hit with 65 spam comments. She didn't post her comment. She was mad at me about something. Probably me not remembering the anniversary but maybe for something else.

Everything else has gone as well as can be expected. Feeling pressured to deal with the US Immigration to get my wife down here.Coping with that as best as I can.Did the big annual dog walk with my puppy. She hates her diet but she's starting to look magnificent. She attracted her share of stares and coos.That's something because there were we'll over 500 dogs on the walk, everything from Italian Greyhounds to Chinese Crested. They all seemed like good dogs to me.
Before the walk and even after my puppy has been extremely happy. I'm not sure why or if the why matters. She's just laughing about everything and enjoying being with me and tormenting me as much as possible. Although I think she feels like I'm tormenting her.


Click images for desktop size: "Always With Honor" by Unknown They've jacked the price of my drugs 325%!!
I wasn't alone on that. At the clinic pharmacy there's been a lot of violent disturbance because of the price increase. A sense of entitlement I guess. Some of it probably just fear. I felt fear, trying to figure out how I could pay for it all. I take 12 pills a day plus the insulin.
I managed to save some money by going to different pharmacies. The $4 generic works for one of the drugs, and another is normally $44 but I found one doing it for $10.
The scary prices are on the Plavix (the most profitable drug in the world at over $200 a month) and the insulin (Lantus) which goes for about $200 a month.
Health care reform - who needs it right?

I'm incensed that our government has gotten so corrupt that they're letting Comcast, Time Warner et al own the internet. Comcast already blocks sites that disagree with their illegal tactics. Obama is so busy trying to criminalize children for downloading music that he's forgotten one of his main campaign promises, an open and free internet.
Instead he is abiding by the wishes of the corrupt Republican Senators and the corrupt dog Democrats in the house (all whom have received MASSIVE chunks of cash from Comcast and Time Warner.

Click images for desktop size: "Tony Bennett" They wrote a "bi-partisan" (hey, corruption and greed know no party lines) letter demanding the FCC ignore their mandate and care for the money grubbers. Obama clearly agrees with them and is letting it happen.
This seems small compared to the fact that Republican policies are leading to the end of the world down in the Gulf of Mexico, but as the internet gets shut down there's a chance, a real good chance, that we'd never even have known about the oil spill and BP's ignoring of it.
Again Obama, instead of declaring it a disaster and sending in the troops to blow the hell of the leak and stop it, he lets BP dilly about and make money.
There's a sadness in the world.

Hit with overwhelming tiredness. Want to talk about the new music I've been listening too.
Later.

Posted by David at 12:35 AM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Unknown I'm getting a lot of mail and questions. Some from strangers, some from people that I love. "You dead?" to "Did you give up blogging?"
No.
I'm just tired. Hard tired.
Everyday thoughts go through my head; since I can't write them down, get them from there to here, they stay in my head.
In my skull thoughts get crowded. They swirl around until they form a primordial mélange. Working nights leaves me constantly sleepy. After work, in the morning, I care for my puppy; dose myself with my drugs; stick myself in the belly with insulin needles; answer as many emails as I can (more for my puppy than myself - it's more important that the kids know she, my puppy, is fine and swaggering); look for another job; deal with things I have to deal with and then fall into disturbed and anxious sleep.
I toss and jumble myself while trying to rest. And the thoughts settle into their confused sparking mélange and the past stays merged with the present.
The job in the Quasi-Casino has disrupted the undemanding plan for my life. Survival; traded my life plan for survival. We have to do that too much.

There are things I can't forget that need remembering.

I was walking with my puppy in the dark, before work, on a warm and windless night, when we heard a strange noise. Can't describe it. It wasn't noise it was just a sound, a vibration in the ground. Then by street lamp and moonlight we watched a 35 foot tree snap off the trunk 8 feet off the ground and crash to earth.
My puppy and I were enchanted. The owner of the tree's backyard came running out. Ruined a bit of
Click images for desktop size: "Betty Page" by William George the atmosphere. All I remember about our conversation is that he said "wow" a lot.

It was time for my puppy's annual physical. She was fine. The vet gives you a little sheet detailing all the various tests and things. At the bottom Dr K wrote, "She IS great!" with "is" double underlined.
My puppy is always so happy. She makes me happy even when she repeats her same old jokes a dozen times a day.
There was a fairly recent report revisiting the intelligence of dogs. They now figure dogs can remember over 250 words and have a general intellect comparable to a human 3 year old.
That's easy to accept. A combination of better testing techniques, evolution and better breeding practices.
The AKC used to start their description of Belgian Shepherds with the unequivacable statement, "the most intelligent breed."
Politics costs Belgians that statement, but politics can't take away their dark chimp like eyes and unyielding affections.
My puppy loves her kong. That's a hard rubber toy. Two years ago my puppy lost her kong in a snow drift. My puppy loves her kong; not any kong only her kong.
There was a snowstorm recently. At the height of the storm my
Click images for desktop size: "Lucille Ball" puppy got frantic. She insisted on going out. She ran to a pile of snow, dug for a minute and came out of the hole with her kong in her mouth. She trotted inside, giving me the eye as she brought her outside toy to the inside. It had to be inside, she had to know it was safe.
What impresses me is that she pulled an event from 2 years ago; saw it as a problem and came up with a solution.

Went to the doctor. Part of my heart is dead. Not the part that hates or the part that loves.
Got the bill for my emergency room visit: 20 minutes - $4,780. Yeah.
We don't need health care reform. Hospitals are as trustworthy as Wall Street Banks.

I saw one of the best pro "rasslin'" matches ever recently. On this alternative show, "Ring of Honor."
The show is cool. Kind of gritty, kind of cheap and highly entertaining. It's not as comic book-y or stupid as the generic WWE bizzaro world.
ROH does less talking and more yelling. They play the little dramas faster and with more intensity.
In the last WWE show they talked for 30 minutes before the first match started.

Click images for desktop size: "The Mighty Thor" by Jack Kirby The ROH match that blew me away was The American Wolves vs The Young Bucks.
it was great. In its best moments it was as exhilarating as Chan Cheh Venoms movie with bodies flying through the air at breathtaking speed and landing and launching from impossible angles. It wasn't the sophomoric soap opera slowed down treacle sports entertainment, it was four guys pretending to beat each other up really really well. It was sweat infused art.

Some where around here I got married. It was actually March 17. The date had no significance to me before. All I did was agree to it.
There was no big decision for me. The only thoughtful part was being certain I wasn't marrying to have someone put roses on my grave.
The ceremony was okay. There were good dogs in attendance. My wife got all the dogs sparkly green bow ties. All the dogs kept them on, even my puppy. Gentle Dog started to lead a cheer during the vows and my puppy who was circling the altar had to go tell him to shut up until it was time and then we all had to whistle and stomp our feet. I liked their participation plenty.
The food was good if a bit too vegetarian for my puppy and me. But it was good. Good music. Good friends etc.
My new "mother-in-law" said something that made me bristle. She's always been obnoxious and rude to me. I don't care much about that. I tend to just ignore her, but she said one of the nastiest things I've ever heard at a wedding to my wife. I still feel like snarling every time I think of it. Her attitude explains a lot.
We got lost returning from the wedding. It bodes well that we got out of it with no big hassle and that dogs kept sleeping quiet in the back.
We did a second wedding the next day. It was out in the woods by a rushing stream. The first "legal: wedding was done by an okay Methodist minister who kept to his own wedding agenda. In this one we got to spout off a lot more. My wife said a lot of pretty words. I kept watching Giant Dog start to amble down the stream. When it was my turn I said my words from memory until Giant Dog got himself into trouble, so then had to stop everything and resuce him until he decided that was good fun and proceeded on a faster clip to get himself into trouble again . . .
I still liked the second wedding better.
It was sad when they left. Even my puppy was sad.

Posted by David at 3:24 PM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Haiku On Hanami" by April Joy E Jasmin My mother used to be terrified that she, being only fifteen years older than me and divorced, was going to deprive me and traumatize me. The only book, the only resource for new mothers then was Doctor Spock. She couldn't go to her mother for advice. My grandmother hadn't talked to her since my mother's divorce. So my mother fumbled around and did the best she could figure out.
Sometimes this entailed taking me to work with her. When she was working at the concession counter at the drive-in movie theater going with her was very cool. I would sit at a picnic table on a concrete slab by the projection booth, right next to a blaring metal loud speaker and float into the movies while my mom's teen co-workers inundated me with sugar-y soda, popcorn and ice cream.
It was in that state that I first saw "Godzilla". A warm California night, the sea breeze and eucalyptus scenting the air and sixty feet of city munching reptile destroying everything adults hold dear. Perhaps my still holding love affair with Japanese jidai-geki movies has more to do with remembering a mother's love than it does my fondness for giant lizards and men in rubber suits. I wouldn't know. I'm more Adlerian than Freudian.
I liked monster movies. So did my mother but she worried so her next big plan to keep me from being deprived was a subscription to The Children's Book Club.
This was some weird thing, probably from an ad in "Teen Mom's Weekly". For fifty nine cents a copy your child, meaning me, got a hard cover classic of children's literature.
They were cheaply printed things. Thing I remember most were the super ragged edges of the pages. But I liked the books. I liked the stories in them. Classics is a pretty broad term. There were Hardy Boys stories, strange science fiction and "Alice's Adventures In Wonderland". I really liked that book at age 7. I liked the pictures and I liked the horrible things that happened to the little girl.

Click images for desktop size: "Purple Vectors" by Unknown At that stage of my life torturing little girls was a major part of my entertainment. Not real torture but stuff like dropping snails down their backs, stealing the heads from their dolls. Typical stuff. The one girl who thought it was cool and fought back instead of shrieking and threatening to tell on me became a life long friend.
So I liked that all the animals yelled at Alice, picked on her and tormented her. It kept my interest up.
I read that book and re-read it then got on with surfing, torturing little girls etc. In high school someone gave me a copy of Martin Gardener's "The Annotated Alice". I don't remember who. It took me a long time before I started reading it. When I did start to get into it I was enthralled. It started my trek into Lewis Carroll fandom.
I recently got a copy of Jenny Woolf's new book, "The Mystery of Lewis Carroll". It's a bit dry but it attempts to debunk some of the more bizarre suppositions about Charles Dodgson like that he was actually Jack the Ripper. It also attempts to tackle the issue of his being a pedophile. That has always driven me crazy. I've read some persuasive arguments for it being so and I've tried to accept that he was a pedophile who never actually improperly touched or harmed a child.
That goes against my knowledge of pedophiles. When I took my training to help abused kids part of it was attending group therapy sessions and listening to child abusers. I think the plan was to get us trainees to have some compassion and empathy for the offensive
Click images for desktop size: "Audrey Hepburn" offenders.
It didn't have any such effect. I have been alone with thrill killers, reputed Mafia hitmen, drug addicts, prostitutes and movie stars. At some level I've always felt a bond of humanity. Sometimes it was tenuous and difficult but it was always still there.
Prior to my meeting the child abusers the group I felt most distant from were the hard core crack addicts. They were so lizard brained that any cloudy memory they had of being human was only called on to try and manipulate.
Child abusers, the ultimate victimizers, didn't have even that. To me they were an alien insect race that would be best served with a claw hammer and a room draped in plastic.
They have no control over their actions. They must abuse. So sordid and ingrained is their delusion that they speak often and in agreement that children are sexual seducers who lure them into the abusers horrific attacks and fantasies.
The thing is that they were all like this, all out of control. Even chemical and physical castration has not deterred child molesters from attacking children.
No matter how convincing the arguments it was hard, nearly impossible for me to put Dodgson in
Click images for desktop size: "Rise on an Angel" by Titusboy this category, this misshapen lump. I could not even accept that he was a pedophile who had somehow managed to NOT harm children.
Ms Woolf's book tries to address this issue while presenting an image of Carroll full and deep. She uses a few newly discovered letters, gets some interesting interpretations of available data from MD's and such and uses a unique and solid bit of hard evidence.
She uses forensic accounting. Recently discovered are the complete bank records for Dodgson. From the first penny he spent till the decimation of his estate at his death. Financial records.
It seems odd. But so did bringing down Al Capone's empire based on his financial records. It paints a picture of Carroll and Dodgson that I am much more in agreement with that any other previous. Meaning it jibes most closely to my own perceptions of a major part of my pantheontology.
Woolf's writing style is a bit dry and prosaic but her observations are keen, her conclusions are only pedantic when strongly supported by evidence. It makes a good read and provides at least for the fans, which I am, a nice amount of dream time considering Dodgson/Carroll. My only complaint is that a bit too many words are spent rejecting some of the more inane conclusions about Dodgson.

I went for my stress tests on Wednesday. Interesting stuff. They made the mistake of leaving me alone in a room too long. I found a remarkable plastic model of a heart. It was dumped behind some boxes in a cupboard. I coveted it and considered stealing it. I didn't. Not because of any high handed moral arguments or out of fear but because it occurred to me that it might only appear to be discarded and might be of service to some other poor slob stuck in my kind of hell.
The stress tests themselves were not all that difficult. The first one was on a treadmill. I was out fitted with all the ekg terminals and an x-ray machine was pointed at my chest.

Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Wally Wood It was hard getting my pulse over 100. Not that I'm that fit but because the treadmill didn't offer up enough resistance and I was ordered to not bend over too much to accelerate so that the x-rays would hit the right spot.
After that we went to the stair masters. Due to my chemotherapy history they eschewed x-rays. Didn't want to blast me with too much radiation in case I turned into a super hero I bet. So this time I climbed the unending staircase and was monitored by electrodes and sound waves. I could see the sonogram as I worked out. It was so incredibly cool looking at my heart beat. In motion I was trying to control it and make it do interesting things. That got me yelled at.
Don't have all the results yet but what there is is good. My heart has healed. There are abnormalities but they have to be looked for rather than appearing as distorted lines and squibbles.
My vitals are all good. they doubled my blood pressure meds. Rah. My BP was 120 over 60, but they decided they want it even lower! Part of this is due to the congestive heart failure I had with the Lyrica. Then my BP was hovering around 190 over 80 due to all the fluid in my chest compressing everything. Getting my standard BP even lower will enable me to endure a real congestive heart attack (that's what killed my grandmother when she was 98 . . .) They said I was on an extremely minmal dosage anyway and this would still have me below average.
Now I just wait for the rest of the results and the fitness and fury.
Just wanted to mention my puppy. She's continued to be wonderful. She's crazy and calm by turns. When I'm feeling more under the weather than usual she's protective. When I'm feeling better she's bossy and obnoxious, demanding her way. She's my friend.
She's been on a diet. She hates it. But we went to the pet store yesterday and she has lost nearly TWO POUNDS! Bringing her weight down to 71! Only six more pounds to go till she is her ideal weight!
She could care less about ideal weight. She'd rather have ice cream at all of her meals.

Posted by David at 5:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Click images for desktop size: "Fairy Tale Land" by Monica Corduneau "I've never said this to a white man before. I love you."
I don't get nervous about things being said to me like that. It was a customer as I counted out her $3,200 winnings. She didn't give me a tip.
Nowadays most people don't understand the use or the power of words. Crack, meth, liquor and TV have minimized the impact of everything but mostly words have come to mean less and less.
The sounds of words get used to mesmerize and manipulate. The clarity and evocative power of words and sentences has been lost to soundbites, which tend to be meaningless emotion grabbers without depth.
Sarah Palin, who used to faqscinate me until she quit the job she insisted she craved so that she'd be free to be greedy. She uses soundbites. She doesn't even bother with words. She makes up sounds that sound like they have portent. It seems like the grunting of a caveman in a 10 thousand dollar suit.
Frank Capra made a movie. It was called "Meet John Doe". It was one of those great populist dramas. Gary Cooper was "John Doe" a baseball pitcher who blew his arm out. In the middle of the great depression that meant he was now a hobo, riding the rails, looking for a days work. Barbara Stanwyck is a newspaper columnist who just got fired. In an act of spite Stanwyck publishes a shaggy dog story about how John Doe was mad about the state of the world. John Doe is so mad that he plans to commit a Zen Bhuddist protest and throw himself off of City Hall on Christmas Eve.
Gary Cooper gives radio speeches that barbara Stanwyck writes for him. They're populist speeches that hold a pure clean vision for America. Mainly the populist themes of the times: employment, self esteem, distrust of the decadent rich, distrust of elected politicians who forget their constituency.

Click images for desktop size: "HAL 9000" by Maurico Fernandez Rosino Gary Cooper's character becomes a national hero. Clubs, form up: "The John Doe Society". They agree with Cooper and the clubs form to collect signatures begging Cooper to not commit suicide.
The John Doe Clubs keep springing up all over America. Then Eddy Arnold comes forward. He's a rich guy and begins to bank roll The John Doe Society. He turns a grass roots organization into a powerful political third party. He spends depression millions creating the clubs, controlling the people. He plans to ride them into the White House, making himself a ruler. A ruler not with populist ideals but with fascist Stalinist principals that insure the success of white upper crust Americans while grinding the poor and the middle class into a bloody stew to grease the corporate wheels of his personal progress.
Eddy Arnold rests by building his own private army and by installing the movie world's best ever Christmas tree.
There's a lot more plot to the movie. Cooper finds out about Arnold's plans and plans to expose him. Arnold, rather than be exposed, destroys Cooper and the John Doe Society. If he can't use it. He writes it off as a loss.
It all reminds me too much of Sarah Palin and Roger Ailes. Except there's no Gary Cooper around to save us from them. And, like they say, there's a sucker born every minute.
Palin has no mystery. She's just a greed machine who couldn't even finish out her sworn term of office because she was too greedy and feared her flame flickering out before she struck true gold. She's the
Click image: "Marlyn Monroe & Jane Russell" Paris Hilton of politics.

Next night at work was the night of the crack heads. There's an armed security guard who works with me. Most of the time he just sits and plays the games, he gambles almost 8 hours straight. I don't know if he was absorbed in gambling or intimidated by the crack heads. Either's possible. There were 14 of them in 3 cars: an Escalade and two Cadillac coupes. They were the sort of scum who couldn't afford Caddies but sold enough crack to make a big enough down payment.
It didn't mean anything to me. I kept them in line. They'd get aggro but aggro and bragging don't impress me. I know tough. Been around plenty of scary people in my life. These jerks were just loud and used to scaring little old ladies. After each confrontation they'd come up to me and wanting to make friends. Like I'd want a coward for a friend.
No head cracking ensued. Mainly because taking even one of them out probably would have killed me. And mainly because I'd look at them and just feel pity. I hate the drugs. I hate the lizard brained monsters crack turns people into but I feel saddened that crack was all they have and turning them into lizard brains was the best choice for them, as they see it. Because creeps like Sarah Palin want to take away any dream of a future and leave all but their select few as despairing multitudes begging for just a little more.

Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Marek Okon The next night was worse, worse than crack heads. There seems to be a type of woman who hangs around these places. Usually they seem pretty harmless to me. They beg for gambling money.
They scam and hustle but its pretty harmless stuff to my mind. Its more their gambling addiction than purer forms of poverty. Usually they "borrow" a couple bucks in exchange for bringing the fatties money to me. As in, "Eighteen bucks on Miss Ambrose's account and two on mine," while they hand me a crumpled twenty. For many of these women the effort of standing up and walking 6 feet is worth 2 bucks. Or "loan me five and we'll be partners and split anything I win."
I don't like that stuff but it's better than robbery. I've talked to a few women about it but it doesn't seem to have any impact. It annoys most of my co-workers, these people. I don't see why. They only bug me when they get rude but most of the time they are only obnoxious to me.
There's one of this group who fairly attractive i.e. not fat. She's pretty low life. One of the security guards was hitting on her as was one of my co--workers. In the introductory conversation she always swings it around to her time in prison and how proud she is of her mother who is like Queen of the Yard.
Depressing stuff.
The girl talks but she comes off as just a tease. She's just playing things out for the money and the attention.
So Thursday she's working this dude, Ronnell. He's a tall guy, a wanna be pimp sort. Wears tiny braids and a derby hat! In 2010 a derby hat looks pretty stupid to my eyes.
So the girl hustled him for a whole five bucks. It made me nervous because I dislike this guy Ronnell and get the idea that he thinks he's suave and dangerous, in a way a guy who's never set foot out of a small town can think he's suave and dangerous. Too many movies, too much TV and very little life other than street corners.
Ronnell decided to collect on his "investment". Fortunately caught him when he led the girl outside and slammed her against a wall and pressed hard against her. Fortunately stopped him before it
Click images for desktop size: "My Home" by Unknown went any further than that. Sexual assault is slightly less disgusting than rape.
I asked the girl about calling the cops. She was startled. She was upset but nowhere near as upset as I'd expect. She hung around a couple of more hours.
The next morning my boss didn't fight me about banning the guy permanently.

I was supposed to see the neurologist on Friday. I got an email canceling the appointment and rescheduling it for April 21!!
I think I'd rather have a slightly worse doctor who was a little it more available.
I called the office and found out the guy was sick. Occupational hazard style sickness.
This Wednesday I get to see the cardiologist. I have some high hopes here. It's the stress test. I'm hoping to find out that the heat attacks have healed. I'm also hoping that the damage done by the Lyrica was only transitory.
So the weekend is nearly over and all I've done is recover physically enough to go into work tomorrow night.
It's going to be a short week. I'm taking off the night of the stress test and then the next night as well. I want to pass the stress test and be deemed healthy.

Posted by David at 2:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Click images for desktop size: "Hollywood" by Unknown Rain and snow here. They're not used to it. It locks the whole town into a deep panic. Strange. Two plow trucks with salt spreaders would make the whole thing pretty much a non-issue in a few hours. They do nothing despite dozens of accidents and fatalities. They do nothing and people keep driving. Except me. I keep walking.
The nasty weather makes being ordered to stay at home a bit easier to take. I saw the doc on Wednesday and got ordered to take it easy, to take off two days of work, to let my body heal.
My blood pressure is still high 144 over 80. Doc says it's because of all the fluid in my chest. She was going to give me a lecture about walking out of the hospital but stopped when I said it was mainly because of the money. the hospital said I left because I wanted to go home and feed my puppy . . . that's true but not all that's true.
She also said, "The emergency doctor doesn't understand how tough you are. Your previous doctor made notes all over the place but its hard to believe. I've been seeing you for six months and I barely believe it myself."
There's not much there for me so I let it lie. I don't much like people thinking I'm so tough I can endure all the pain.
She sent me off to get more x-rays. I'm probably going to have to go to a Pulmonary doc. The Lyrica damaged my lungs some but there seems to be some calcification already present. The doc was under the impression I'd tested positive for TB!! I told her I thought I'd remember if I had.
I was worried, In London I had to get tested for TB every six months. I worked with a group called Blue Cross. I'd go out at night with a veterinarian to the homeless enclaves and we'd treat the dogs many of the homeless men and women kept for protection and companionship. Tuberculosis runs rampant in the homeless communities of Europe so I had to get the little skin pop test and chest x-rays far too often.
It was noted in my file that I had tested positive in one of those skin pop tests. The doc checked the computer records pretty quickly and found the positive for TB notation. A few years ago I needed a chest x-ray for Canadian immigration. It seems that the radiologist couldn't think of any other reason that I would need an x-ray other than having tuberculosis so she checked a box on some
Click images for desktop size: "Ferrari" form or other.
I don't have TB. I'm pretty glad about that but resentful about spending time having to think about it.
I got my chest x-ray and picked up my prescription drug refills. I'm going to hold off on any more neuropathic medicines and just deal with the pain with ibuprofen.
I'm supposed to see the neurologist on the 19th of this month. I decided I could survive the hurt until then. I don't care for my neurologist much but he's got a pretty fantastic world class rep. He'll have to deal with the sudden breaking down of my bodies electrical system.
I have to say though, that other than taking one longish walk to the bank I've been pretty docile and being docile has gotten my leg under control. I haven't taken any ibuprofen today at all.
I've gotten to listen to a lot of music. I like that. There's four pretty special albums I've liked. All new but two are brand new and two are new collections of old stuff.
Alkaline Trios "This Addiction" is fine. So good it almost makes me forget how they are the worst group I've ever had to endure live. Nearly forget but not quite. Every song is tinged with the memory of that horrific performance.
I'm also surprised by the Rob Zombie "Hellbilly Deluxe II". Parts of it are savage and totally deluxe, like "The Devil's Rejects" and "Halloween" were brutal savage celluloid dreams of evil. The other parts are like . . . Well, there's a track, "The
Click image for desktop size: "Cyd Charisse" Man Who Laughs" which starts out great then suddenly devolves into a totally inept 5 minute drum solo! Still, what's great is very cool and what sucks can be ignored. Think "Halloween II" enacted on disc and you'd be pretty close to what the album is.
The release of The Blasters "Testament" is a surprise. Their complete Slash recordings. Slash was a music mag in LA that evolved into a record label pushing out 45's and the occasional LP. I had a lot of contact with Phil and Dave Alvin for some reason or other. I thought the Blasters were a great band and that Dave was more into Buck Owens (which was are main point of camaraderie) than Little Richard. It was Dave who wrote the songs and Phil who promoted the band.
Getting bands to work is a miserable job. It can turn you into a miserable person. But Phil could sing and front a band for sure. And there's plenty of evidence in these two CD's that The Blasters should have been the saviours of music. Maybe they were.
Finally there's the six CD collection from Buddy Holly. "Not Fade Away-The Complete Studio Recordings". Someone pointed out that Holly's "From the Original Master Tapes" was the first CD that showed what CD's were sonically capable of. Prior to that disk most CD's stuck to that insulting
Click images for desktop size: "Ancient Japanese Art" by Unknown format of just using the old RIAA eq'ed for phono cartridge or cassette master tapes. They were pretty offensive sounding. Holly has never offended my ears.
The complete recordings has all the hits, some weird little tid bits, like Holly recording different versions of "That'll Be The Day" inserting a different DJ's name. I'd heard them before but never in what I guess you'd call a prestige collection. All the hits are there and they all rock like we're all going to be young forever. There's a lot of weird country stuff, complete with Texas fiddle stylings that are only of interest because Holly's playing guitar.
My enforced vacation ends on Super Sunday. Coolness.
I've lost the picking games contest to my friend. Even if she picks the evil mechanized Colts I can't overtake her. Small victory for her which only proves she's a cheater.
I'm picking the Saints for no other reason than the beauty of it. Little Dru Brees vs the evil Payton Manning. Hey, don't believe those sweet and funny commercials. Payton Manning is evil. Would a nice guy ruthlessly carve up a defense like he has?
The Colts are boring and will probably win. That's a shame. I like the wild uncontrollable offense the Brees directs. I like the flying by the seat off their pants defense the Saints throw out there. All the Colts offer is perfection. Perfection is boring.
Who dat think they gonna beat them Saints! I'll be saying it and watching the game and hoping.
The Who for a halftime show?? Maybe 20 years ago . . .

Posted by David at 1:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Click images for desktop size: "Fairy Tale" by Titusboy It's been a finite week. Beginning and an end. Lots of discoveries about my body. Things I probably didn't need to know but . . .
Like, my cruddy job leaves me to tired to have anything more than scrambled thoughts. I have moments but then the fatigue toxins hit. I need to organize my thoughts each day to keep the days separate. Otherwise, like now, they all run together into a gray block that goes from paycheck to paycheck with little in between.
I've even found it hard to focus in on a movie. I either fall asleep or find myself getting impatient.
My puppy grounds me. She's still the same but she's more important to me each day. Together we have our little adventures. Together we're going to save this big old pit bull down the street. She takes care of herself and she takes care of me.
Today we walked to the pet store and weighed her. She's lost one-fifth of a pound. I was pleased.
My big fear is that I'm going to drop one of my pills and she'll pick it up, thinking its some kind of groovy treat or something. And I take a lot of pills. Too many pills.
The Lyrica hit me hard. I was waking up and walking across the room and it felt very clearly like I was walking up a steep hill. The capsule makes my chest feel heavy. I'm waking up with low blood sugars so it's not a pretty combination. It feels like theres a little slot car motor in my chest and the axle is spinning and sputtering deep inside of me rotating my organs around some mad dance.
They seem to be doing their job though. The fire bright burning from my hip to my knee has died down and gradually the pain has gotten tolerable.
Lyrica is one of those drugs you have to introduce to your body gradually. On Friday I got up to the
Click images for desktop size: "Sea Shore" by Unknown full dosage. It controlled the pain by making my thigh almost completely numb. Numb doesn't hurt much and I can deal with it. I'm still walking to work everyday and walking back after. It's a matter of will and I don't have much choice.
Work is work. It doesn't mean much. Just once I'd like to have a conversation with one of the customers that doesn't end with them trying to involve me in some scam. There's nothing there except a scant paycheck. Nothing at all.
I work, stumble in, feed my puppy, try and walk her. She has a new favorite stick that she keeps assiduous track of. She can find it under leaves in the middle of a thousand other sticks. She tries to get me to chase her for it. When I feebly try she giggles.
Then I just collapse. This week I'd wake up in pain after the pills ran out. I'd deal with that by taking more ibuprofen and then playing on the WDTV Live. I've hacked it up to where I'm almost happy with it.
In all my hacking around I did make one decision. I used to save all the movies to DVD's. Now I realize that I can do better by storing them on external hard drives. I figure I can get 400 DVD's on a 1.5 TB drive that I can get for about 80 bucks. Four hundred DVDs would cost me more than that. And the External HD has a much longer shelf life.
It goes along with my idea of keeping most of my music in lossless format instead of aac. (I haven't used MP3 for years) In blind tests I can tell an MP3 from the original better than 805 of the time. With
Click images for desktop size: "Yul Brenner" aac it was about 30% of the time. aac sounds more open to me, less compressed and many fewer artifacts. Lossless makes the whole process moot. And on the iPod it starts to sound a whole lot like life when I'm walking around out there.
The only issue is that the iPod only plays Apple Lossless files. This is a weird codec which seems based on flac but is totally proprietary. I hate proprietary codecs. But its lossless so it's no issue at all to dump them back and forth to and from flac if the need arises.
The lossless files have the airy openness and purity of joy. Of course my music collection has swollen to over 75 gigs and I can't quite fit 300 songs on the iPod, but really, how often do I need more than four hours of music at a time.

I just woke up. Fell asleep in my chair . . . again.

One of the reasons for my confusion is that my bedrock is fading. There's only three games left in the season. Three NFL games and then its over until August when we get to start it up all over
Click images for desktop size: "Maria Magdalena" by Unknown again. With any luck in February the cardiologist will clear me and starting in August I'll get to start coaching again.
But now the emptiness gets to settle in.
It doesn't help that my friend has managed to jam up the computers so badly that she is beating me by NINE points for the season. My sense of justice hopes she get caught for the serious server hacking she must have been doing to change it so she was perfect last week! Of course I'm fond of her and the idea of her getting any more hassles upsets me slightly. But I'm not sure if that upsets me as much as being cheated of my natural superiority . . .

My picks in the two games are in bold.

New York Jets at Indianapolis - Yeah. I know that a Colts vs Saints SuperBowl has been in the cards since week 8 but the Jets shouldn't be even be here. They may turn out to be like John McCay's and Doug Williams' Tampa Bay team that miraculously got to the Championship game only to get easily throttled. But I'd rather believe in the dream than the reality. Payton Manning is a machine. If Tom Brady didn't exist there's no denying he'd be the greatest QB of this generation. But Rex Ryan's defense is the type that can give him fits. And Ryan is creative enough to figure out a way to take Dallas Clark away from him. Reavis will shut out Reggie Wayne and that leaves him some talented receivers but the issue is whether that front seven will even give him a chance to check down and find them. The Colts can't run the ball against the Jets, they've barely needed to run at all this season but today they need to be effective enough to use the play action. The Jets don't have to sack Manning, they just need to knock him down a few times and be in his face, they can do that. On the other side of the Ball it's the Jets solid running game and the wide eyed cockiness of Mark Sanchez, the Super Rookie who should have been taking the Trojans to the National Championship this season. Instead he decided to go to
Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Peter Tapang the Superbowl. I think there's a good chance he can do it again or else Sanchez could end up being the new generation's Doug Williams. Besides that, if the Colts ride Manning to victory it will be boring and predictable. If the Jets win it's a beautiful drama filled with laughter and tears. Always go with the dream even if it's doomed.

Minneapolis at New Orleans - The Game of the Year! This has everything you could want. The lowly Saints flying high riding a video game offense commanded by little Dru Brees. Brees makes my heart ache. He's got the swagger and the toughness wrapped up with enthusiasm and the excitement of the game. He makes his good receivers great. Reggie Bush, who has added hard nosed toughness to his ballet like runs. Jeremy SHockey playing on one leg but still blocking and still catching touch downs. The Saints line will control the Vikings pass rush and might even hold the Saints to under 40 points. Maybe. But then the Vikings; Brett Favre. Brett Favre. The ultimate gunslinger. Every time he takes his helmet off I'm shocked to see that patch of gray hair on his head. He's a force and the greatest playmaker ever in the NFL. He specializes in making the impossible routine. But he also has the record for most INT's in history. Sharper, Saints safety has a broken hand. That will save Brett at least one pick but two picks could turn this game around. Then there's the beast, Adrien Petersen. He's slowed down some, the beating of 17 games seems to have taken a toll. With a healthy Sedrick Ellis at tackle (TROJAN) the Saints nimble linebackers will find the gaps easy to shut down. Brett will find some pressure too enough for the Saints to win a shoot out. And if any team ever needed and deserved a Champion its New Orleans. Whichever team wins this game it will be exciting and fraught will the elegance and beauty of the game.

Posted by David at 5:55 AM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "ctrlaltsup" by Couac The holidays were pretty good, but they already seem like a vivid dream.
My friend came down from Canada and bought the giant dog and the gentle dog with her. The giant dog was pretty much, "Oh, there you are. I want a cookie." While the gentle dog was very glad to see me and showed it.
My puppy was her usual reserved self and just wanted to play fight everybody. The rescue dog wouldn't stand for that and insisted on being the center of attention, which sort of ruined things but only a little.
We did the usual poor people Christmas stuff. And on her birthday I took my friend to a Korean Tofu Soup restaurant. I proposed and tried to make it not sound like a business deal. She said yes.
Services will be in March.
But my health keeps deteriorating. The latest is nerve damage in my leg. It hurts like a prairie fire at harvest time. It burns from just above my right hip all the way down to my right knee, the burning causes a lot of muscle cramping.
I keep examining the leg expecting to see swelling or blood but it just looks normal. I noticed my thighs are getting skinny but my calves look great!
Pain so bad went to the doctor. It was a hobbling trek. The doc pointed out that one of the first chemo's I had was full of neurotoxins, that and the diabetes meant I could look forward to a lot of neuropathic pain and damage. She prescribed this drug Lyrica, 75 mgs. I found out it's a controlled drug. First time taking it made me dopey, right now it makes me feel hungover and thick skinned. I don't know if its helping the leg pain more than ibuprofen.
The doc gave me the usual lectures. I made her laugh a lot. I went straight from work and was cotton headed from lack of sleep. For some reason I'm always acerbic and funny when I'm struggling to stay awake.

Click images for desktop size: "The Giant Orion" by Unknown They changed a few of my other drugs, mild changes.

One cool thing about my friend visiting was she bought along her AppleTV. The idea was that I'd either getting it working on her MacNook or I'd swap it for my WDTVLive. I got it working pretty quickly.
But I was able to compare the two. For beauty and ease of usage the AppleTV makes the WDTVLive look pretty stupid. It just works and requires nothing but intuition and curiosity.
In terms of playing media though the WDTVLive was like so much better. It really would come down to what you want to do with it. I'm running the WDTVlx Live hacked firmware from b-rad. That let me get the WDTV at least looking, not good, but not so horribly ugly. Like all Windows based machines the interface and networking are pig ugly and near hopeless. The hacked firmware improves some of that. It should be pointed out that the WDTV is one of the only media players that recognizes HTFS drives (Mac hard disks) so it gets plenty of points for that.
I like the WDTV but only after a lot of work. I'd never be comfortable with my friend or kids using it. It's fragile in its network connections, but robust in playing anything. It includes a file manager to let you delete, move or copy files right from the WDTV. Pretty stupid feature if you had kids. No way to restrict that that I can see either.

Last weeks playoffs I got perfectly. I was 0-4 . . . My friend was 3 of 4. I'm calling for a congressional investigation into game fixing.
My picks for this week are in bold.

Arizona at New Orleans - Last week against the Packers Kurt Warner looked incredible, pure Hall of Fame type play. A lot of people are saying he's ready to blow it all open again this year and carry the Cardinals to the SuperBowl. The Saint's have lost there last 3 games and are well rested. I think they'll be plenty sharp especially Dru Brees, Pierre Thomas and Reggie Bush. Sedrick Ellis should also be healed up. With him on the line the Saints line backers don't have to fight off as many blocks and become an efficient unit. I want the Saints to win. I think they can slow down the Cardinal O enough to win a shoot out.

Baltimore at Indianapolis - Its tempting to go with the Ravens. They're one of my favorite teams. I don't much like the Colts but for the reasons I don't like them (boring game plans, flawless execution, no fun or drama) is the reason they'll probably win this going away. So I'm picking the
Click images for desktop size: "Sandalwood" by Pepper Vu Colts but cheering for the Ravens.

Dallas at Minnesota - Suddenly everyone is calling for the Cowboys to get to the SuperBowl. The Cowboys stink. Their impressive wins come against the NFC East and a Saints team that had already clinched the first seed in the play offs. Brett Farve and Adrien Petersen are going to give the Cowboys more than they can handle while the front seven will destroy Tony Romo's confidence.

New York Jets 17 at San Diego 31 - We NEED to see the Chargers against the Colts in the AFC Championship game. The Jets are playing strong inelegant football. The Chargers are just flying low and winning. I'm stoked fro this one.

Posted by David at 11:05 AM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by 3D The holidays are over.
Sad. Bittersweet life.
I'm one of those guys who sees the holidays as continuing until the SuperBowl, a bit more subdued maybe but blocking and tackling and guys trying to catch balls while other guys try and stop them always fills me with a sense of wonder and peace.
Now that the Bowl season is over its time to get into the NFL playoffs. The finest athletes in the world, blocking and tackling and trying to catch a ball.
The playoffs cap off what was a pretty dire NFL season. The quality of the football was pretty high but the scheduling made it so that there were a huge amount of meaningless poorly played games. I was talking to some guys who thought the Cleveland v Lions game was the best game of the year. That's the one where the Lion's Matt Stafford won the game with a touchdown pass with no time remaining.
What I saw was a pretty poorly played game with erratic execution. That doesn't change what it means to the players and the players are always what makes any game fascinating.
As bad as the season was there were some bright glowing spots. There has to be.
The New Orleans Saints with Dru Brees cheerleading them and gut checking them to a 13-0 start was incredible. And The Cincinnati Bengals sweeping the AFC North was something that I couldn't ignore and appreciate.
As it stands that's my dream SuperBowl. Right now it's not my prediction it's just the SuperBowl I would like to see.
There's a lot of things I like about the Bengals. There's a strong USC connection, which I always like. Carson Palmer, the QB, coming back and playing like the elite QB he is. Keith Rivers and Rey
Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Robert Crumb Maleluga giving the Bengals a real playmaking defense and a dangerous front seven. And then they picked up Larry Johnson.
I knew Larry Johnson from State College High School. He was a phenomenal athlete then. I met his father and mother and his little brother Tony (who may be a better athlete but lacks Larry's hard competitive edge). I know the kid and I know he's not like the way the press has depicted him.
There are things about being an elite athlete that non-athletes never seem to get. They can't imagine what its like to prepare your body to stretch it past the possible, the mindset that's entailed in always believing you're being better than your opponent. The stresses of tuning your body and your mind create a tension. Pop stars and classical musicians are permitted to have their affectations and tantrum demands. Its expected and respected. An athlete is only "permitted" to be either sullen or at least keep his mouth shut.
There's been a lot of talk about Tom Brady being the NFL player of the decade. It would be really hard to make any arguments against that. The rings, the record and the duress and he definitely falls into the "keep your mouth shut" category in his public life. But as awe inspiring as Brady is there's a player on the Bengals who falls into a different category, The Player I Most Wished I'd Coached of the Decade. And that player would be Chad Ocho Cinco nee Johnson.
Ocho Cinco created one of the most wondrous moments in sports history. It was a week before Christmas and then Ocho Cinco scored a TD. I don't remember the score or the situation or even who the opponent was. What I remember was Ocho Cinco scoring the TD and then running to a side line marker. He tilted the marker up and pulled out a giant Christmas stocking stuffed with loot. He then ran up and down the sidelines tossing Christmas presents to the fans.
It was glorious, it was ebullient and the greatest TD celebration that ever was or will be. The NFL fined him and banned all such actions so they'd never be again. They've completely erased the moment from their history. They took something fun and made it illegal because it detracted from the seriousness of the game.
I've been coaching for 20 years. Most of it working with the social inclusion of youth. Football is a
Click images for desktop size: "Phish Food" by tpgPhotography hard vicious game that I still contend is the best and ultimate way to show young people how to work to improve themselves to be the best that they can be so that they can fit into a plan and be part of a team so that the team can go forward and accomplish unbelievable things. And all of those kids took the lessons that our game had to teach them and used those lessons to succeed in a community and society that had previously written them off as wasted youth.
And that worked because our game is fun. The hours of gym work, the hours of practice for the scant minutes of game time were all just fun.
The NFL doesn't much care about fun.
I worked with NFL Europe or the World Football League or whatever gooney name they were giving it for a while. It soon seemed to me that this league had only two purposes: For the owners to be able to take lavish European vacations that could be written off as business expense and to sell more NFL merchandise. I met about half of the NFL owners of the time and a good chunk of Paul Taglibue's staff.
It was only after Vince McMahon founded the X-Football League that anyone started to care about what they were putting on the field. Starting to use the League as a "minor" developmental league was
Click images for desktop size: "Gene Kelly" the solution but that was still secondary to expensive vacations and selling merchandise. Neither goal held any interest for me so I didn't last long in the NFL Europe offices or fields.
But those are the kind of guys who never played the game who could look at Chad Ocho Cinco, an elite receiver who rejoiced in and loved our game and instead of catching the infectious fever that Ocho Cinco brings to the field they only saw something that needed to be eliminated.
Whatever these guys do for a good time I doubt it could ever interest me.
This year Ocho Cinco, in the midst of the best season the Bengals have ever had, after a blown pass interference that wasn't called, Ocho Cinco tried to bribe the official with a dollar. It was humorous, it was fun and funny. It bought an NFL game up to a level of beauty and entertainment that I never thought it could recall.
Ocho Cinco was fined $50,000. He paid the fine and then matched the fine and made an equal donation to children's charities. To understand NFL priorities remember that a cheap shot merits as little as a $3,000 fine. That's like getting 30 days for assault and 15 years for dancing after midnight.

Click images for desktop size: "The Pull of Maybe" by Blurburger Chad Henry, the other Bengals elite receiver died tragically this season in a shocking way. Ocho Cinco wanted to wear his jersey the weekend of Henry's death. The NFL said no tributes to the dead unless they're straight ahead white guys I figure. Ocho CInco stood his ground and the NFL promised him the heaviest fine it could levy. The Player's Union actually stepped forward and said it would pay the fine on Ocho Cinco's behalf. The NFL refused. Their intent was to punish Ocho Cinco if he dared to pay a tribute to his friend and teammate, a touching tribute that would have touched my heart and the heart's of millions to see.
They took the joy and beauty out of the moment and Ocho Cinco sadly, if prudently, denied himself the simple Eulogy to his friend.
There's a long list of things Ocho Cinco has done that appeal to me. When he had no receptions against Reavis in the season finale he gave Reavis credit for being great and never blamed his injured knee. He had one season where he went public with his despair at playing for loosing teams and then came back and apologized for it and on and on.
Chad Ocho Cinco is a player that I think can be held up as an example to other young men. He works incredibly hard. He's super fit. He runs excellent routes, helps his QB, is a good blocker. His game is constantly improving. And he has fun playing this sport at its highest level. He laughs and enjoys his status as a rich celebrity. HE cares for the children of his community in ways great and small. He's turned the iPhone and the smart phone community into his own special place to reach out to fans and other players.
Chad Ocho Cinco is what I dreamed each of my players, my kids, might become. And I think he's special and I hope to see him play in the SuperBowl catching a TD pass somersaulting out of the back of the end zone with the ball still in his hands.

At the end of the regular season I am leading my friend by one point. This is a testament to the genius and clear headed thinking I gave all my picks as well as a testament to the depths of feminine cheating and lucky guessing . . . Well, it is.
Due to some insightful scheduling 3 of this weeks 4 games are rematches from last week . . . That sure spells excitement not to mention a weird sense of deja vu.
My picks are in bold.

New York Jets at Cincinnati - The Jets won last week in a game that meant everything to them and nothing to the Bengals. The only thing that makes me nervous about this game is that the Bengals still won't have Ray Maleluga. Their D needs his high rev motor back there. He's a disruptive force who fits in well to the Bengals team. I also think Ocho Cinco will burn Reavis for one long TD.

Philadelphia at Dallas - Its hard for me to pick a team with Michael Vick. He has not held to his
Click images for desktop size: "Midstream Encounter" by Unknown promises as far as I'm concerned. I was a supporter but he's done minimal work with kids or on behalf of animals. Carson Palmer appears at his local animal shelter on Pet Adoption day for nothing but the joy of it. Where was Vick on that day? I think that was the condition for his release and for his reinstatement. It's the NFL and only tickets and merchandise sales really matter.But I like the Cowboys D well enough but think their O is wreckless and erratic. The Eagles are even more erratic, remember they got bombed by the Raiders not that long ago. McNabb is too good a QB and too intense a leader to permit a replay of last weeks dismal performance.

Baltimore at New England - Game of the Week if only because it's not a replay like the others. I like the Ravens and think they match up well with the Patriots. Brady has a broken finger to match his three broken ribs so it should be close.

Green Bay 28 at Arizona 21 - The packers blew the Cardinals out last week in a game that meant nothing to the Cards. The Packers should keep the swagger and Clay Matthews should delight in chasing down immobile Kurt Warner.

Posted by David at 12:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Christmas eve.
Work started out hellacious but ended up being only creepy.
Waiting for my friend to arrive. Thousand mile drive. She's bringing 2 dogs. Big adventure for them. They've never been anywhere before.
Big adventure for her too. She hasn't been as many places as she could have been.
I loaded up the iPod with a clashing mix of Christmas music (my kind of Christmas music) old stuff and new. When I walked to work the melange suddenly worked and I remembered those days when the car radio was my friend. The warped mixture of CHristmas music, garage and rock made sense and made me nostalgic for those times when cruising Tommy's Hamburgers and talking about the Christmas surf made sense and all while the radio played our changing soundtrack.
The wonder of Christmas was long passed but there were still dreams of a new surf board, speakers for the car stereo, surprises galore, and maybe there was still some wonder. I remember sitting silent in the car with my buddies while we listened to the Bobs, The Trashmen, Chuck Berry and the Beach Boys all singing Christmas tunes mixed in with the latest top 40. I remembered that it felt good because the music and the guys were all friends that made the time of year something more.
Christmas eve.
I'm actually off Christmas Day, not with pay of course. My Christmas bonus was twenty bucks and a scratch off lottery ticket . . . couldn't give you Christmas Day off with pay. "A poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every December the twenty fifth!"
Shows you how much I'm worth to the company. This isn't based on actual dollars or actual worth just their perception which there's plenty of evidence is devious, convoluted and untrustworthy.
So I'm waiting for my friend to finish her big adventure drive with two big dogs who are bewildered at best. And, while I was walking home from work, I was thinking about Christmas and the Jesus thing.
I know some people like to think I'm very spiritual and full of faith. Which seems odd to me because they're basing that on the fact that I believe in very little. I believe more in people than anything else. I was raised Catholic and one thing that is still true, once you're a catholic you are always a catholic. I've heard guys described as Catholic Bhuddists and even Catholic atheists. But being Catholic it is always what defines you. It's a pleasurable guilt thing.
So I guess my religious beliefs would be a bit of Catholic Pantheist Tao Swedenborgainism sort of thing. Which is a lot of words that don't add up to much and that is pretty much about how I feel about most religions.
This doesn't mean that I think anyone should be constricted in their beliefs. Even those whacky scientology guys have that right. If they find peace in a hack failed sci-fi writers double talk that's cool by me.
My big problem with those guys is their deceptive practices and the nasty co-opting of the rapture. I don't think anyone has the right to do twisted things to other people because the world is going to end soon and because I've said the right words or read the right book all these bastards are going to die while I get spirited away by either angels or space ships.
I don't like the rapture being used to justify being a jerk, or to excuse deceiving people for their own good. Other than that what you believe is always cool by me. Just don't mess with the waves and the rocks, the reefs and the forests.
Charles Dodgson once wrote a letter to a friend who had turned agnostic and was starting to consider himself an atheist. Dodgson said some cool things about how his friends beliefs would not condemn him to hell or anything that retaliatory. But he wanted to convince him of the divinity of Jesus Christ because Dodgson seriously believed that believing in Christ would make his friend's life more pleasant and enjoyable.
These were a couple of Oxford Don's exchanging letters so a big part of the discourse was based around a whole lot of scholarly religioso stuff that escapes my interest. But there was one argument in Dodgson's letters that I found compelling and simple.
Dodgson proposed that for over 1800 years various groups and governments had attempted to emphatically disprove the existence of Christ as the Messiah and they had failed.
I liked that. I don't care much for anyone asking me to have blind faith, or compelling you to have faith because you needed it to believe. Too cyclical an argument for me.
The idea that the Romans of the time had the opportunity and the motive to disprove that Christ had risen from the grave and could not does resonate some. That the Christians bedeviled and eventually usurped the Roman empire despite brutal Roman oppression and constant attempts to malign and discredit Christ but they couldn't is a pretty decent argument all the way around.
I mean why couldn't they produce a couple of guys to say, "Hey, we saw Joe and Lou open up Christ's grave and carry the body out!"
It would have benefited the Romans greatly and put a cabosh on the whole thing. When those guys Mark and Matthew were writing the gospels and stuff why didn't the Romans pull out a guy to say, "He didn't walk on water! There's a sandbar on that sea. Anybody could have walked across it."
And on and on. It Christmas so my thoughts drift towards Christ but I think the same argument applies to Bhudda and Mohammed and Moses and most divinities.
I like that there are people out there that we consider divine. And all those divinities started out as people. People who believed in something and wanted to help others.
Its kind of cool. The kind of cool I like.

So it will be hours until my friend arrives all safe and loud and raucous, I hope. The dogs will have to reacquaint themselves and they'll be plenty of tussling and fighting, which spells a pretty exciting and Merry Christmas for me.
I hope all of you have a Merry Christmas. I'm certain its allowed. My thoughts are with you. Even if it feels like I'm ignoring you, I'm not. I just can't do as much as I used to do.
Merry Christmas.

Posted by David at 1:51 PM | Permalink

My puppy and I took a two hour stroll. It was supposed to be an historic ice storm.
We weren't very impressed. I only slipped 4 times, 1 near fall and 0 falls. It's early in the season but I'd say I'm on track to winning winter.
One the near fall I had to wind mill my arms. The frozen shoulder barely hurt. It didn't rotate around as much as I'd want but it worked. A few months ago I'd have just let the fall happen instead of enduring the pain of moving my arm. So I'm winning everywhere . . . except work. I hate my job. It's the kind of job you have to hate. They don't give you much choice.
I still think like a worker, a laborer, and that its us against them. Sadly, not many of my co-workers agree with me. I ignore them.
One of my coworkers was accused of stealing $1,200. Stupidly the accusation took place right in front of me, which is as stupid and as disorienting as it sounds. After a few moments of pretending I was unaware of what was going on my coworker began, in near tears to beg not to be fired. Management seemed, to me, to be taunting him, saying how this sort of thing usually meant instant termination.
I thought the scene crossed too many lines of decency and humanity. Its pretty bad to have to beg for a cruddy job, in this economy you often feel that sort of trembling fear and anxiety. I understand it too well. It's the only reason I'm still working there.
I felt frozen, I didn't want my coworker to see I'd seen his anguish. I tried talking to management directly and offered up a bit of defense and pointed out I shouldn't be here for this sort of conversation, that it was demeaning for all 3 of us. I tried to offer up a stronger defense but I kept thinking of the new laptop with 4G dongle he'd shown me the day before, and how he was encouraging me to join him in spending a couple hundred bucks for gifts for the other workers.
I always believe that people are innocent and if they're not then there are things and personalities that I can't understand. The only ones I assume are guilty are governments, management and the powerful who view society as an impediment to their success.
My doubts must have been pretty strong because I couldn't mount a more vigorous defense. I managed to finish up and leave offering up my support. It distracted me all the way home, thinking about the situation. I sent out 3 more resumes when I got home.
The next day I was stunned by an entire wall of edicts all demanding to be signed by me. I fumed and felt like walking out. They were mainly to prevent theft. I'm never to pleased to be accused of being a thief. I have a lot of things I can be called out on but not for being a petty thief. (I always work of the old edict about stealing from your employer: If you're not stealing a minimum of 3 times your annual salary don't do it. That includes taking pens or paperclips. I mean, you are going to get caught.)
It turns out the coworker offered to make up the shortage at $20 per month . . . that's five years by my calculator . . . great job security or I'm the fool for being honest. I mean, a five year zero interest loan . . .
That didn't bug me near as much as the 18 new rules and procedures I had to stomach on Christmas week.
I didn't walk out. Not more mature and level headed, just older and more fearful.

I'm enjoying having the TV. Still have mixed feelings about the WDTV Live. Odd thing is my feelings are very strong on loving and hating the device. My friend is coming to visit (with both the crazy dogs - which means my Christmas will be frenetic and most likely happy - just the way I like it!) and she's bringing the AppleTV with her. It's acting up in a way that's affecting a couple thousand people and the New Apple, is of course, ignoring the problem. It's a port problem that seems to have been launched with the new AppleTV 3.01 firmware.
I'll get to compare the two, side by side and I'll try to get it to work.
I did get to watch two of the best films I've seen this year. One's even American made!
"Moon" was a well hyped low budget flic. I liked it. Found it amusing and liked the return of science fiction, as opposed to Sci-Fi, to movies. Its been pretty well hyped so not much need to go over it. I found it a nice reaffirmation of freedom and humanity. Something most American movies seem to ignore in the 21st century.
The other film was denser and more surprising. Since "Running on Karma" I've always figured Johnny To and Ka-Fai Wa as two monster talents waiting to explode. They've done some brilliant work separately and done some light collaborations. this is the first film since "Karma" where've they've worked together as a team.
The movie is different. Firstly it's a FRENCH production! And stars French icon Johnny Hallyday! It starts off as a pretty standard though superbly made thriller, a move titled "Vengeance" makes it pretty obvious what we're going to see. I figured there'd be some sort of culture conflict, Europe vs Asia sort of thing.
To and Wa are too smart for that, in fact the film proudly touts the humanity of us all, even amidst society's killers. There are plenty of cool scenes and plenty of mayhem. The movie starts to turn at a picnic ground where the prey meets their families for dinner. The hunters stand by refusing to engage while the children are present.
Everyone gets shot up pretty badly. While the hunters administer to their wounds it turns out that Hallyday has a bullet in his skull that will cause him to become a total amnesiac with no long and a very spotty short term memory. An idea lifted in cloth from the cool "Memoir". To is smart enough to use that movie as a shorthand stop to dispense with boring exposition.
To uses the device effectively to get to his and Wa's central theme, the nature, purity and need for revenge. When Hallyday's memory finally goes he doesn't remember pictures of his murdered daughter and grand children. He doesn't even remember the meaning of the word revenge.
Anthony Wong gives a solid performance as the hired killer with values and morals as well as brains. Simon Yam plays the villain with over the top glee. Its important he be so despicable to prove the thesis of the movie.
Wong delivers Hallyday over to his pregnant wife and 8 children. He knows he and his crew are going off to die. Since Hallyday offered him everything he had for his revenge Wong leads him to the only safe place he knows.
There in the family Hallyday laughs and spends his days playing with the children. He's happy perhaps for the only time in his life.
The children and mother are upset when the news of their father's death makes the local news. Hallyday only has a polaroid of Wong to tell him that he even knows the man. But he feels the upset around him and feels some how responsible.
Confused and befuddled he falls to his knees at the edge of the ocean and he begins to pray. He has no memory of his religion but for To and Wa faith and belief are instinctual things. And in praying to nothing Hallyday is coming into the zen of his situation. Hallyday sits at the ocean locked in his meditations even as the tide rises and threatens to drown him, even after it recedes he stays locked in his position, until the ghosts of his memory seem to rise from the ocean. The people he has loved and the people he has grown to trust and see as friends rise up and give him release with a kiss.
And Hallyday the blank man from another world rises from the beach and goes off to kill, to seek vengeance. And he's aided cleverly and safely, by the children and the pregnant mother who need their own vengeance.
The idea of vengeance so elegantly woven into a high octane action movie is hard to conceive. It works for me and the film is enough of a hit to say To and Wa pulled it off.
I have a hard time accepting the organic necessity of revenge but that doesn't stop this from being one powerful film that would rank as one of the years best in any year.

I mentioned before that my friend is driving down from Canada to see me for the holidays. I'm touched and pleased and worried. I hope the weather is calmed down enough for her trip to be uninteresting. She'll have the two dogs with her. I don't know if they'll make the trek easier or more difficult. I'm looking forward to seeing them as well.
I'm poised to have a broke but excellent Christmas. What could be better.

I sort of lost interest in the NFL when the Saints lost tonight. The idea of two undefeated teams meeting in the SuperBowl was staggering and blissful. The Saints with Reggie Bush as the sun, Coulston as the wind and Drew Brees as the tired warrior bringing self esteem to a city and making that his primary goal despite the horrors that his own life have instilled filled me with a pride in the human race. I loved Brees leading the Saints in that pre-game high school rocking cheer. Seeing pros get as up and excited as kids is unique. The Saints may not have own them all but they won my heart. And sometimes a loss like this brings them down hard enough to reality to see them through to win the rest.
Pure crap such an important game was stuck on that dreary contentious NFL network. It should be banned by an act of congress and the NFL's anti-trust exemption revoked.

My picks are in bold.

Indianapolis at Jacksonville - The Colts did their part and the Jaguars made it more than interesting.

Dallas at New Orleans - Curse this shabby Cowboys team.

Chicago at Baltimore - The Ravens have disappointed this season but still have a shot a playoff spot. The Bears only interest is in drafting some wide receivers.

New England at Buffalo - When will be certain that Tom Brady is really back?

Arizona at Detroit - Two teams coming off embarassing losses. The Lions are used to that.

Cleveland at Kansas City - Cruddy game of the week. The Browns beat the Steelers?

Atlanta at New York Jets - Mark Sanchez should be back and Ryan has the Jets paying some D. The Falcons need more than an 80% Matt Ryan to compete.

Houston at St Louis - A game of no interest whatsoever!

Miami at Tennessee - Two teams whose play off dreams are fading fast, this could still be one of the better games this Sunday. Taking the Vince Young Titans because he's playing inspired football and is pretty fun to watch.

Oakland at Denver - This game should stop the Broncos from achiving an 8-8 record after an 8-0 start!

Cincinnati at San Diego - Game of the Week. Chad Ocho Cinco invites his twitter followers out for breakfast the day before a game and then walks with them to Starbucks for coffee. Plans to wear his dead teammates jersey knowing he'll be fined massively. A teammate dies and it will either inspire or deaden a team. I hope it inspires. This is my second fave team this year. The Chargers will probably when going away but where's the beauty in that?

Tampa Bay at Seattle - Another who cares game.

San Francisco at Philadelphia - I like the 49ers. I don't like the Eagles this year. They took Vick and lied to defend it. They have also played erratic football.

Green Bay at Pittsburgh - The Steelers lost to Cleveland . . . They should just cancel the rest of their season. Maybe they already have.

New York Giants at Washington - Big rivalry game or snooze fest?

Minnesota 41 at Carolina 14 - At sometime they most have thought this would be a relevant game. What records will Favre and Petersen break is the only thing of possible interest.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! Peace on Earth!

Posted by David at 5:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Click images for desktop size: "Korean Girl" by Unknown Tired. Just tired.
Need a break. I'm not going to get one. Just have to keep soldering on.
Big fight at work. I had to work Thanksgiving Day. To my chagrin the place was packed. I'd hoped it would be empty so that the bosses would think it'd be worthless being open Christmas. But it was packed.
When the paychecks came was when there was the hassle. All my co workers worked 4 hours shifts and got paid for 12 hours. I worked an 8 hours shift and got paid for . . . 12 hours. To the bosses this was fair. They claim I got paid the same as everybody else. I don't see how anybody but a boss could make that math work.
I took the day off to prevent me from freaking out and quitting. I bought a TV.
It's a decent enough TV. I'd have liked bigger and better but I could afford this one. I got a 42" Panasonic plasma for about $400. Lots of searching and coupons. I wanted plasma for the brighter picture and the wider viewing angle. Looking for now and into the future. After the LCD price fixing came to light today it also made sense.
For content I got a Western Digital TV Live. It lists for 120 but I got it for 50 from ebay. It's okay. Adding on an external hard drive makes it compare okay to the AppleTV.
It's a dense path to compare them. The AppleTV is simpler, has a more elegant interface and greater accessibility to internet content, mainly via hacks with Boxee and XBMC. The AppleTV is notoriously underpowered and greatly compromised as to formats it can play. Just another way that Apple has decided to compromise the product to appease content makers to the detriment of consumers. This is the new media age, the old refusing to acknowledge the future. Just fighting to gouge money from us while providing inferior product.
THE WDTV Live has a clunky interface, that's fit more for nerds than for ease. With a USB WIFI card
Click images for desktop size: "Leto" by Artemus Rosakis it connects to everything on my little network and streams everything less than 1080p without a stutter. Xvid and DivX look cruddy. They're dead end codecs and show it. MKV files look sparkling and breathtaking. The AppleTV used to stutter on 720p mkv files loaded on the hard drive! There's not stutter at all on the WD.
Some content inexplicably gets out of sync on the WD. It makes no sense as I encode everything the same way. I can't figure it out yet. Still with 1080p playback compared to AppleTV's 1080i the WD has a distinct edge.
Of course there's no iTunes integration in the WD. The WD also has a pretty poor access to the internet. It does YouTube, but without the AppleTV elegance. The WD has a nasty Flickr interface and no account sign on ability. One of the niftiest AppleTV features is the Flickr screensaver. The WD offers nothing but a flashing logo screensaver that is brutally ugly, something only a Windows user could tolerate.
I'll write more when I use it. On the flash I'd prefer an AppleTV with 1080p and the versatility of the WD Live.
I've suffered through work coping with crack addicts in the parking lot (I thought smoking crack was so 90's) attempted robberies and trying hard not to quit. I need to work. I need money, even small amounts.
On Wednesday I had my EMG test. I really wasn't prepared for it. I got 5 separate calls urging me to show up, constantly reconfirming. I guess that should have been a clue as to what to expect. When I arrived at the clinic 3 people recognized me. One as the fellow with the black dog and 2 saw me as the man from "the casino".
The test was pretty arduous. It lasted 3 and a half hours . . . The first part was attaching electrodes to various body parts and then shocking the hell out of me. On the computer this produced a pattern that looked like pink noise in an aiff editor. Just a block of jagged lines.
The next part was sticking needles into the nerves and then recording the electric pulse. This all hurt.
There was apparently three levels of damage to my nerves that had to be worked through. The first was from the neurotoxin laden chemo therapy from years ago. This was an abrupt sort of one time damage. The second is the nerve degeneration caused by diabetes. This is chronic but slow. The final one was limited to my right frozen shoulder, here the damage is from my "guarding" the arm so much as to have compressed and damaged the ulnar nerve. There is also traumatic damage. I was hurting to much to explain this was from the torture inflicted on me by the Canadian authorities.
The neurologist will examine the results and decide if there's a fix. I'll see him this Friday.

Click images for desktop size: "Lara Croft" by Adam Hughes All in all its been a rough couple of weeks. The only saving grace has been my puppy who never tires of delighting and caring for me. She's a good girl who tolerates my shortcomings and endures my oafishness.
My puppy and thinking about football.
I'm concerned about USC. I think Pete Carroll is a brilliant football coach. I have no desire to see him leave the program. I want him to prosper again and I feel confident in him. Which doesn't lessen the sting of this incredibly dire season. I think Carroll's meltdown about Mark Sanchez leaving early is explained pretty much by the poor play of freshman Matt Barkley. The kid has talent but this year he showed nothing that would let me think he could take USC to the National Championship in 2010, 11 or 12. I now have higher hopes for stud QB Jessie Scroggins. I think he'll press Barkley more than Corp or Mustain.
As the season progressed I saw no improvement in Barkley's, footwork, his reads or his forcing of passes. He still locks onto his primary receiver and recognizes the outlet pass too late. As opponents got more film of him he was easy to adjust to.
USC was victimized with far too many crippling injuries, starting with the devastating near fatal loss of Stefon Johnson. With the bizarre nature of Stefon's injury coupled with the way the O and D line were pushed around its apparent to me that Carroll needs a new, invigorated Strength and Conditioning coach.
We also need a better O Coordinator. If Charlie Weiss hadn't been an ass and made his scandalous actionable comments about Pete Carroll I fantasized about him being the O-Coordinator. He'd actually have been a good fit and would have aggravated Carroll as much as Norm Chow had, and that partnership produced Championships. But with his criminally cruel lies I honestly think the man should be banned from football for life.
Jeremy Bates did nothing to develop Barkley and his play calling was far too NFL and completely dull and unimaginative.
The Emerald Bowl is too soon to see if there will be any chance for this group to rebound next year.
A to the NFL it's getting shocking in its mediocrity. Two weeks ago I was a very good 14-2 in my picks. Last week a not so stellar 10-6. I also got myself bounced out of the Survivor game by picking New England over Miami!

This week I've dreamed about the games and pondered them as I've walked and stalked the neighborhood with my puppy.
My picks are in bold.

Pittsburgh at Cleveland - Talk about a dire season. From SuperBowl Champs to getting hammered
Click images for desktop size: "Little Men" by Unknown by the Browns. The Steelers are missing only one player, former Trojan Troy Polomanu. Without him it seems they are less than ordinary.

New Orleans at Atlanta - I've idolized Drew Brees since his days at Purdue and now he's proved its all worthwhile. Undefeated and looking indestructible, the little guy still finds time to be one of the major charitable rebuilders of the still devastated New Orleans. He's a great player who easily wears the demigod symbolism overcoming the suicide of his mother with his commitment to his community and his teammates. He is becoming legend and I want him to propel himself into history. The Falcons season is destructing with the injuries to Matt Ryan and Michael Turner. Ryan might come back this week but there's no word on Turner. The Falcons need the duo to compete.

New York Jets at Tampa Bay - Mark Sanchez is squawking? He's just a game manager right now who needs to make a couple of plays a game. He's a good kid who listens and learns. The Buccaneers are showing life and getting competitive but now there's enough film for Ryan to adapt and fire up his under talented D.

Carolina at New England - The Patriots could be the biggest disappointment of 2009, except the Steelers seem to want that honor. They're at home and Brady is a new father. That should be
Click images for desktop size: "Natalie Wood" enough for some inspired play. Carolina is . . . 52 men strong or something.

Cincinnati at Minnesota - Game of the Week. The Vikings need to rebound. They were totally dismantled by Arizona last week. The Bengals need to win to keep their confidence up as they continue to over achieve. The Vikings have to prove that last week was a blip. They may have lost home field advantage in the playoffs but they still need to win the division. I'm taking the Bengals because of Carson Palmer and my love for Chad Ocho Cinco. I wish I could force the NFL to let Chad celebrate his scores. His antics and tough play are the highlight of any given NFL week. This one will be a burner.

Buffalo at Kansas City - Cruddy game of the week. I don't care that both teams are coming off of huge upset wins they stink.

Detroit at Baltimore - The Lions have decided to spare Matt Stafford a beating and sit him sown for this one. The Ravens will just be happy to get back onto a winning track I can't see the Lions
Click images for desktop size: "Lonesome Cowboy" by NFL Films stopping them from doing anything they want to do.

Green Bay at Chicago - The Packer D is real and solid. I wonder if the Bears have anyone checking Jay Cutler's blood sugars. He is not as bad a player as he has looked. (I'm serious about the blood sugars)

Seattle at Houston - The Ho Hum game of the week. Two teams with nothing to play for. Why are we subjected to this?

Denver at Indianapolis - This could be interesting but probably not. The Colts are turning into monsters and the Broncos are working to stumble to finish the season at 500.

Miami at Jacksonville - This is a game that fails to fire the imagination. The Dolphins will be high off their stunning win over the Pats and the Jaguars will be desperate to save their jobs. It could prove interesting but won't produce much good football.

Washington at Oakland - Cruddy game of the Week II. The Redskins couldn't beat the Saints even though New Orleans was missing 4 starters. The Raiders beat somebody. We were all amazed.

St Louis at Tennessee - The Vince Young Titans hit the reality wall but the fantasy should start rolling again against the hapless Rams. Has Steve Jackson demanded a trade yet?

San Diego at Dallas - The Chargers are playing some decent football while the Cowboys are still pretending the NFC East is the toughest division in football . . . Philip Rivers or Tony Romo? Does Romo really think holding for field goals is going to spark the team? The HC agreed??

Arizona at San Francisco - The Cardinals look like they're ready for another run deep in the playoffs while the 49er's keep playing good football but just have too little talent to make it all work.

Philadelphia 27 at New York Giants 24 - The Giants look like a train wreck. The Eagles less so. I resent them allowing Michael Vick to contribute while not forcing him to honestly fulfill his promises to the community.

Posted by David at 5:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Carlos Pacheco I've lived outside of the US too many years for Thanksgiving to be that special to me. That doesn't mean I don't have memories and expectations.
One memory is of my kids (as in my team) in the UK deciding I needed an old fashioned American Thanksgiving feast.
They did their best using their frame of reference. They took over my kitchen and made a typical Brit Christmas dinner with a turkey instead of goose and roast parsnips and turnips instead of corn. It was edible. The food wasn't important. It was that a bunch of young men and women managed to plan and execute and then function as a unit to accomplish a goal.
That the goal was to please me is only important in that they accomplished it for reasons other than they intended.
I had to work this Thanksgiving. It was rough. Most of the regulars were there but the others were dopers and drunks looking for any place that was open. It's been a while since I've felt that I was in danger that I might not be able to handle. I felt vulnerable. Every other joint in town has been robbed. We haven't yet. Thanksgiving morning that felt pretty tenuous. But nothing happened.
My relief came in. The owner decided that everyone but me would work a four shift, his concession to stealing the holiday. My relief was crabby, she usually is. I don't blame her but I was irked that she'd tell me about it.
There's a dispute going on. The guys who worked four hours are getting paid triple time for it while, for some unknown reason they want to pay me only double time!!
That does seem like a rip and an insult and I will quit a job that tries to steal 60 bucks from me. We'll see how it plays out. Fairness says I win. But who knows.
I was planning on using the overtime money to buy a TV so I can watch the playoffs, the bowl
Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Clarence Carter games and see my movies. If I get shorted I'll hold on to the money while I do a job search. I'm already pretty heavily taken advantage of there because I'm desperate but even desperation has its limit.
I went home and fell asleep in the chair again. Woke up about 1 or 2. Took my puppy for a walk. We played some. She likes to look fierce and attack me. It makes me laugh. Her too.
I'd decided to be alone this Thanksgiving. Share a hundred or so emails with my friend and my other friends and then go to this big buffet place everyone here talks about. They had take out so I had to decide on taking my puppy and getting two meals to go or going alone and bringing her meal home to her.
I followed good advice I wish I'd ignored and went alone.
The streets were pleasantly deserted. Few cars and no other people. The walk takes me past the cardiac clinic which is part of a huge complex. I liked seeing it completely vacant.
As I passed it I saw a bird across the street. I wished my puppy was with me. She loves to watch the birds.
At first I thought it was some sort of exciting omen. I thought it was a wild Turkey on Thanksgiving Day! That got me all excited but I wasn't very disappointed when I got up beside it and saw it was one of the ugliest birds I'd ever seen: an East Coast Vulture pecking at the ground. I guess he was looking for roadkill.
West Coast Vultures are pretty ugly too but I'd grown up with them and somehow thought of them as grotesque rulers of the desert. They
Click images for desktop size: "The Beatles" had a certain majesty and fear to them that this guy lacked.
I was about 10 feet away from him when he acknowledged me. He flew away. I was amazed that he had a wing span of well over five feet. He flew about 15 feet away and perched on a 6 foot fence. He looked impressive there as he watched me walk by. His beak and claws looked pretty vicious but I find it impossible to be afraid of animals and I figured East Coast vultures are pretty much like the guys on the West Coast and don't have a lot of interest in something living.
Thinking of it buoyed me the rest of the way.
The restaurant was crowded. It was a pretty dowdy crowd. I'd dressed nicely (thanks to my friend shipping me some more of my clothes and coats) so I stood out.
Funny place. You have to pay as you enter! You couldn't go in with a friend and just have coffee. You had to pay.
It was twelve bucks for all you could eat, which seemed cool. I was pretty hungry. I also saw that the meals to go were $4.95 a pound! I figured I could score plenty of goodies for my puppy at that price.
I got a glass of unsweetened ice tea and put it on the cafeteria tray. That was two bucks! I didn't
Click images for desktop size: "Casandra" by Unknown understand why the drinks were before the pay station. Now I got the point.
There were several people eating alone but no tables for less than four. I found an empty easily enough.
There were stations with plastic plates. The plates were small, like salad plates really.
I had a salad. The salad bar wasn't much but I was in good spirits and pretty happy with the concoction I whipped up. Then I went for the feast. They had a guy carving roasted turkey breast. One slice at a time. I took it, got some corn bread stuffing, mashed potatoes, corn and brown onion gravy.
It was okay. Not great but okay.
I went got and got another slice of turkey and some rice, shrimp and some unknown seafood dish mixed with jalapeno peppers.
For dessert I had a huge plate of melon topped with canned peaches and maraschino cherries. I then went and asked about getting a box to go for my puppy and was seriously disappointed to discover my little fantasy didn't play. I figured I'd get a little styrofoam box that I'd take around and fill up, they'd weigh it, I'd pay, happy puppy!
Doesn't work that way. They had food to go but it was all from this case. They had no turkey in the case. So I got a plate and another slice of turkey, wrapped it in a napkin and took it home so my puppy would have a memorable Thanksgiving.
As I walked home I started to get sick. I've been having some pretty bad chest pain this week. Not bad enough to think about taking any nitro pills but annoying. The chest pain started in badly and then full on symptoms of food poisoning.
I doubt I'll be going back to this joint.
My puppy was kind. She loved her turkey and she lie on the bed with me pretending to attack me before falling asleep on me.
My puppy made it a good Thanksgiving for sure. As good as those long ago ones when people brought me happiness instead of sadness. Back when I thought Sartre was a jerk.
Work was bad. I was seriously disappointed to go in and find the place was packed. Somehow it didn't seem right to be away from your home and gambling. It was a repeat of the previous night without any criminal types. I guess even the bad guys stay at home on the holiday.
The next day was better. My puppy and I went on our long walk. She was stoked. Everything looked new to her. She enjoyed the cold weather a lot. I liked the cool crisp day and I liked the light. I was surprised to realize that the light reminded me of the light in Florence Italy. Very peculiar but pleasant to see. Vivid colors covered with a muted patina. I'd never seen it look like that here before, and I notice those sort of things.
We went to a frozen yogurt place that has a great sugar free vanilla. They sweeten with aspartame
Click images for desktop size: "C & H" by Deskto and not malitol. My puppy and I shared a cup of it. She thought I ate more than my share. I had a cherry lime rickey that reminded me of when I was a kid and we'd go to Delores Drive In.
It seemed a shame for our walk to end but I was still shaky. I did buy a new soda pop I quite like. Diet Mountain Dew Ultra Violet. I've only found it one place and only in those pricey buck and half bottles. I also heard that this is a temporary limited offer drink. So I guess my little bottle is precious.
Today we went for a long walk and got tacos and ceviche. Time spent with my puppy is always rewarding.

Last week my friend and I tied at 10-6 . . . I've yet to figure out how she's cheating. It is not inconceivable that she is fixing the games! This could turn into an enormous scandal! Nearly as big a scandal as her bating me nearly every week!
For the season she leads 109 to 105. Not enough to discourage me yet.

My picks are in bold.

Green Bay at Detroit - This was my survivor game of the week. I'm still in and I have a good shot at finishing the season and maybe even winning. I'm in the final 4%!! I picked the Packers because they were playing the Lions . . .

Oakland at Dallas - Another Thursday winner! I fell like I have a shot this week! I picked the Cowboys because they played the Raiders . . .

New York Giants at Denver - The Giants suck . . .

Tampa Bay at Atlanta - The Buccaneers couldn't follow up on their only win but they are showing signs of life. Too bad because now there's no way they can sneak up on the Falcons who are desperately trying to make some semblance of a play off run. I look for Matt Ryan to have a stat crazy day.

Miami at Buffalo - When the players are more concerned about who their next head coach will be
Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by CGB94 instead of their next opponent it's a pretty good sign they've given up on the season. Miami still has a chance to make the play offs and have played hard all season long. Ricky WIlliams is insane but what's wrong with that. He has a shot for 200 yards against the porous Bills defense.

Arizona at Tennessee - Vince Young is playing real football again and has the Titans looking positive. Kurt Warner is questionable for the Cardinals and as much as I'd love to see Matt Linehart come off the bench and throw for 400 yards and 5 TD's it seems unlikely. I like him a lot but this rematch of National Championship QB's shouldn't be that close.

Seattle at St Louis - Cruddy game of the week. I considered picking Seattle as my survivor team but jeez they stink. So do the Rams but Steve Jackson isn't banged up and could actually swing the upset.

Washington at Philadelphia - They sold the tickets so I guess they have to play the game. The Redskins are beyond bad but still managed to win 3 games this season. The Eagles lost to the Raiders and are still in the playoff picture. This is my who cares game of the week.

Carolina at New York Jets - Mark Sanchez has been looking shell shocked recently. There's enough film on him now for opposing D's to get a handle on him and play him hard. The Panthers are a real mess though and without Steve Smith they might have a rough time mustering any O. It seems pathetic to have to think about the consequences of two 4-6 teams but I like Sanchez too much to make this a Cruddy game of the week contender.

Indianapolis at Houston - A lot of the experts are picking the Texans to snap the Colts perfect season. I can't see it. Payton Manning is still Manning and Matt Schoub isn't. It still should be competitive but whatever happens it will be anticlimactic.

Chicago at Minnesota - I'm still waiting for Adrian Petersen to break 400 yards! This could be the game. The Bears are looking disheveled and its hard to believe even Lovee Smith can get them up for this one. You wonder what records Brett Favre will break this week.

Kansas City at San Diego - Last week the Chiefs beat the Steelers. I figure they over celebrated to be easy pickings for a team that was already poised to destroy them.

Jacksonville at San Francisco - The Jaguars are 6-4 and surging and the 49ers are 4-6. The 49ers
Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by T Hecker have been playing solid football, playing past their talent levels. They've had bad moments but no bad games this season. Frank Gore will give the Jaguars fits even if Alex Smith won't.

New England at New Orleans - GAME OF THE WEEK!! And the only one to get excited about at all. The Patriots are coming in with a chip on their shoulder after the devastating loss to the Colts last week. The Saints are looking to prove that they are as real as 10-0 can make you. Tom Brady in a shootout with Dru Brees is something to dream on for days. If Reggie Bush and Sedrick Ellis are back and healthy that will make this a game to remember. I don't really care who wins but I'm taking the Saints because well, because this is the year its safe to love them.

Pittsburgh 12 at Baltimore 18 - The Steelers can't win without Troy and now they don't have Rothliesberger and have to turn to Dennis Dixon, 3rd string. RAH! Dixon has talent but he's far from ready to start in the NFL. The Ravens will blitz him until he cries. Flacco will get enough of the job done and might even make this a rout.

Posted by David at 4:04 AM | Permalink

Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by 7th Vision Tuesday
Another day at work. Spent my waking time arranging my transportation for physical therapy, optician and neurology appointments. It seemed a dreary and depressing chore.  
Took my puppy for her walk and, as usual, marveled at how much she enjoys just being with me; how keen she is for adventure. We saw a rabbit. It was disappointing that the bunny wouldn't sit still to be smelled.
We met a new dog in the neighborhood . A boy.
It made for a good morning.
I fell asleep at the computer reading emails, went to bed at 11 AM. Begrudgingly my puppy agreed to share our single bed. Slept fitfully until my phone rang; robot calls, two in a row, confirming the physical therapy and the neurology appointments.

Wednesday
Pouring rain; makes me feel even sicker.
Went to Physical therapy. It was good. He explained to me why drops in barometric pressure cause my shoulder to hurt and why the corresponding effect is a two inch loss of mobility.
The explanation was filled with tech terms and medical jargon. The ones I got were the easy ones like orbital and viscous fluid. Even when I didn't understand it all it gave me comfort to have it explained out loud.
Stretched out the three ligaments in the shoulder. Hurt but felt I was getting some good out of it. Then worked on the shoulder with some machines and tools. I made a special effort to remember the names of the tools. Can't recall any of them. Don't know if that's due to the fever or lack of sleep.
Next time I'll write it all down. Taking notes on my life.

Thursday
The war with Canada escalates. I received a two page letter from them. It makes no sense. It
Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by 3D clearly was rushed and not even proofread.It is so insane and bewildering that I wish I had a good attorney I could afford to interpret it. It is as full of lies as a government letter normally is but ends with a whack phrase "I find you not to be inadmissible so I refuse you entry to Canada . . . "
To which I can only say, "Huh?"
Its what I expected but I expected a little more care to be taken and for their to be some precision and not so filled with wild conclusions and down right lies, demonstrably false lies to boot.

Friday
After a painful day at work I fell asleep in front of the computer but woke up in time for Physical Therapy and to go the neurologist.
I had to sit for over an hour in the waiting room. It was the kind of waiting room I've come to hate; large and over bearing with noise, not helped much by the two flat screen TV's blaring different commercials for medical services from opposing corners.
Met the Doctor. He was in his late 20's. Seemed like he was sort of brilliant. As we talked I found out he was one of the lead's on the NFL concussion and neurological research team.
Watching him rip through the medical database (which is still a thing of beauty) was cool. An impressive feat was that he'd gone and dug up d